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Thread: Florida family gives up on small-town North Dakota

  1. #16
    Elite Member Lalique's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VeraGemini View Post
    This doesn't surprise me a bit. North Dakota is not a friendly place at all. You can be prepared for the weather, you can even be prepared for the unremitting, soul-sucking, flat, grayness of the landscape, but you can't really do anything about the people.
    I love your desciption! Just driving thru it once made me want to run screaming.
    What I really want to know is whether it makes your poop glow in the dark after eating it! ~ Kittylady

  2. #17
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    If I can't be mayor, I will be FINAL ARBITER OF TASTE of the town.

    That means, in no uncertain terms:

    1) Everything will be hot and modern with some mid century or other retro touches thrown in in a tasteful and/or fun manner. Anything from the 70's must be reviewed by a panel of decorators, no exceptions.

    2) There will be no country ANYTHING. Not music, not clothing, not interior design. No puffy valances, no tickety tack rustic bullshit furniture, and no country kitsch garbage from Home Depot. There will also be NO fake plastic vines, no fake plastic plants of any kind, no tacky borders, no ugly chandeliers, and all wallpaper will be subject to inspection before application.

    3) There will be no muffin tops. If you are caught with a muffin top, you will be whipped 50 times in the town square.

    4) Personal shoppers and interior decorators will be available for a reduced rate, supplemented by the city for your convenience.

    5) There will be many artistic and fashion oriented festivals, in keeping with the hip, modern image for the city. You will be properly educated on these subjects whether you like it or not.

    6) All bistros, restaurants, gastropubs, bars (martini and otherwise), clubs, and otherwise will undergo a monthly review by a food critique committee, the interior design and artistic committees will be attached to them. All food will be an adventure and menus will change often with special considerations made for popular and delicious dishes that are customer favorites and/or menu anchor items. There will be a TINY district for crappy trashy food and dive bars, heavily regulated and fenced off from the remainder of the city for when you just feel like slumming it.

    7) Yappy anklebiter dogs (chihuahuas, papillons and other assorted drek) will be reviewed by a behavioral assessment unit. Any anklebiter found to be a nuisance, or unable to adequately get along with other canines will be summarily banished.

    8) All animal stores will be adoption only, except for fish or reptiles cuz really, who gives a fuck. You can buy that shit.

    9) Littering will be punishable by public floggings.

    10) Nobody will drive a pickup truck, however multiple moving services and cargo delivery will be handled specifically by each individual business, so nobody has to look like a douche driving down the highway with 500 feet of crown molding sticking out the back of their F150.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  3. #18
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  4. #19
    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    Perhaps North Dakota is not the proper venue for Grim's political aspirations.
    If i hear one more personal attack, i will type while drunk, then you can cry! - Bugdoll
    (716): I'd call her a cunt, but she doesn't seem to have the depth or warmth
    Quote Originally Posted by shedevilang View Post
    (Replying to MontanaMama) This is some of the smartest shit I ever read

  5. #20
    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    Hear hear, Final Arbiter Grimm. The public floggings for various offenses sound like fun. Will you sell tickets or are these free? Could they be held in one of those dive bars - with free drinks and greasy hors d'oeuvres?
    Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive Quickly. Kiss Slowly. Love Truly.
    Laugh Uncontrollably. And never regret ANYTHING that makes you smile.

    - Mark Twain

  6. #21
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MontanaMama View Post
    Perhaps North Dakota is not the proper venue for Grim's political aspirations.
    I will wipe the slate clean! Now comes the dawning of a new era! It is time for Carousel! Renew! RENEW!
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  7. #22
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    Dude, they lost me at 3 churches and only 1 bar. Pffft!!

  8. #23
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Yeah, looks like a hip happening place.







    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  9. #24
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Oh,wow! Grimm for President! Love this platform.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  10. #25
    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    Oh wow! So, it's close to "White Butt"? Niiiiiiiiiiiice!
    Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive Quickly. Kiss Slowly. Love Truly.
    Laugh Uncontrollably. And never regret ANYTHING that makes you smile.

    - Mark Twain

  11. #26
    Elite Member heart_leigh's Avatar
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    It's flat. It's cold. It's nearby. Sort of sounds like my hometown.

    Where do I sign up?
    Rock the fuck on!

  12. #27
    Elite Member KandyKorn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VeraGemini View Post
    This doesn't surprise me a bit. North Dakota is not a friendly place at all. You can be prepared for the weather, you can even be prepared for the unremitting, soul-sucking, flat, grayness of the landscape, but you can't really do anything about the people.
    I'm from ND so kiss my ass. How's that for friendly??
    Last edited by KandyKorn; February 16th, 2010 at 11:32 PM. Reason: cuz I can
    I'm not quite drunk enough to really care, but is this her violation of her violation of her violation of her violation of probation or her violation of her violation of her violation of her probation????? ~MontanaMama on LL's latest arrest.

  13. #28
    Gold Member VeraGemini's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KandyKorn View Post
    I'm from ND so kiss my ass. How's that for friendly??
    I don't mean to insult anyone personally, but if you're from a place you're just not gonna have the same perspective. I found North Dakotans to be every bit as cliquish, insular, and judgmental as the article described. Worse than any place I've ever lived or visited... and I've been to a whole lot of places.

  14. #29
    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KandyKorn View Post
    I'm from ND so kiss my ass. How's that for friendly??
    Awww, nice welcome to a new member. But appropriate for the thread.
    If i hear one more personal attack, i will type while drunk, then you can cry! - Bugdoll
    (716): I'd call her a cunt, but she doesn't seem to have the depth or warmth
    Quote Originally Posted by shedevilang View Post
    (Replying to MontanaMama) This is some of the smartest shit I ever read

  15. #30
    Elite Member KandyKorn's Avatar
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    I do apologize for being a bit snarky. This story actually made me quite mad...those small cow towns can be really bad to 'outsiders' and that's absolutely terrible what this town did to these people. I'd like to move to this town and raise all kinds of hell with those local jerks

    Welcome to the board VeraGemini...I'm generally quite pleasant.
    I'm not quite drunk enough to really care, but is this her violation of her violation of her violation of her violation of probation or her violation of her violation of her violation of her probation????? ~MontanaMama on LL's latest arrest.

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