Awww Tulip many heartfelt sympathies to you. It's never easy. I always ask why can't cats and dogs live longer it's so cruel. I love that you have a beautiful place under your crabapple tree to lay them to rest. I've been to hell and back with animals and I will always have them in my life it's all worth it. When my first darling loyal dog died I ended up in therapy. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Months later I got a puppy and it was a wonderful distraction which allowed me to start the healing process. Tulip, you've got some beautiful comments to reread anytime you feel sad. People really do care.