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Thread: Anthony Bourdain Dead at 61

  1. #91
    Elite Member Sunnygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShimmeringGlow View Post
    I read an article that said the was traveling 250 days a year and the lack of stability, comfort and loneliness of the road had begun to take a toll on him. He was isolated because of his work and that allowed the demons to come calling.

    I just read an article that they are seeing a spike in severe depression and suicide in middle aged men who obsess over their work. They are very isolated and lonely and can very susceptible to manic episodes and thoughts of suicide. And if they are very masculine they can be uncomfortable reaching out and getting help- it makes them seem weak. I read Kate Spade was also uncomfortable getting help too. It’s hard for a lot of people men and women who feel it’s a sign of failure when mental illness takes over and you have to seek help. We as a society really need to change the way we look at and treat people suffering from mental illness. It’s a disease. No one is at fault.
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  2. #92
    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
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    I'm not surprised by an increase in suicides at all. I mean: just look at the absolute insanity that is running rampant in the world right now! It looks like sane people are far outnumbered. It is not like the world has always been an overall good place; there's always been (big) shit going on, somewhere, at any time. But it's the fact that info about all the craziness going on reaches us pretty much in real time, and it's overwhelming. Atheists and scientists may make fun of religion and the bible, but as far as I know (in my 54 years I may have seen the inside of a church about 20-30 times) somewhere in the bible it says that mankind will destroy itself. Looks like we've stepped up a gear in doing so.
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    I think also it doesn't help that its now expected amongst professionals that you should be available 24/7. There's no Off Switch anymore. No time away with your family or friends or even alone without your phone ringing or beeping with a text or an e-mail and the expectation that you will deal with it right away and not when you are officially back on the clock. Its not the only reason, of course, but its another pressure, a little more food for the voice in your head that is whispering that you aren't good enough, that you are a burden, that you can't cope...
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  4. #94
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    Can I blame Trump for the spike in depression and suicides?

    Cause it's so goddamned depressing every time I turn on the TV I've just about stopped watching anything I'm not streaming directly.
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    Me too. I never watch the news. I avoid threads about him. Can't handle the hate.
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    I think there were quite a few suicides in the old days that were hushed up for religious or social reasons. For example, if you wanted you husband or child buried in the church graveyard, they couldnt be a suicide. It was a 'car/riding/swimming accident' (they just didnt mention the note left behind), etc
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    Elite Member cherrypye's Avatar
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    My husband’s theory is that Anthony was so in tune with people around the world that his heart just broke seeing the craziness that this world has come to. I get that because I’m the kind of person that’s deeply empathetic and can feel real distress because of world and local tragedies. Who knows?
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    Quote Originally Posted by cherrypye View Post
    My husband’s theory is that Anthony was so in tune with people around the world that his heart just broke seeing the craziness that this world has come to. I get that because I’m the kind of person that’s deeply empathetic and can feel real distress because of world and local tragedies. Who knows?
    This sounds plausible to me.

    I saw that Pauley Perette tweeted something about how she hates food (that's how she phrased it), and Anthony was the only chef she'd watch because his shows were never about the food, they were about him. It was all I could do not to tweet back at her she had no idea what she was talking about and probably ripped out Anthony's heart with that fucking nonsense (OK, he wouldn't care, but it annoyed me). I know she's a few cards short of a deck, but what show was she watching? It was everything about the food and how it brought the world together. And you wouldn't be earning any points from him by saying you "hate" food. Irrational to react to that, but there you go.

    Then, I saw this, which I was don't think was posted already...Sandra Lee had some very nice things to say on Instagram...



    (When I went to upload the pic, the security code was "Dinner Reservation"...how weird is that?)
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    aww that was super sweet of sandra lee. she should 'bake' a crime against humanity, i mean kwanzaa cake, and get drunk in his honour.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duchess of Verona View Post
    I think there were quite a few suicides in the old days that were hushed up for religious or social reasons. For example, if you wanted you husband or child buried in the church graveyard, they couldnt be a suicide. It was a 'car/riding/swimming accident' (they just didnt mention the note left behind), etc
    Don't forget "gun cleaning accident". I've cleaned a gun before. There is no earthly way you can shoot yourself while cleaning a gun. Right up there with a knife-cleaning accident.

    Quote Originally Posted by cherrypye View Post
    My husband’s theory is that Anthony was so in tune with people around the world that his heart just broke seeing the craziness that this world has come to. I get that because I’m the kind of person that’s deeply empathetic and can feel real distress because of world and local tragedies. Who knows?
    I think that there was a John Irving book (either "Garp" or "Hotel New Hampshire") where there was a reference to depressed people trying to get through another day. The phrase was something like "keep walking by the open windows" (instead of jumping out of one). Ironically, one of the female characters eventually does jump out of one. The reason I bring it up is that I think there are some people who go through life with depression who are kind of on a day-to-day basis. You have this intersection where peak feelings of hopelessness intersect with opportunity.
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  11. #101
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    This one hit me harder than any other - and I have thought about the "why" for days. I think I enjoyed Bourdain so much because he went out of his way to connect us all with each other via the simple humanity of food. No judging, no snark about real people doing real things - like the elderly woman writing her Olive Garden reviews, and just a seemingly genuine affection and respect for others. Which, of course, is what makes it all so much more sad, because we needed him more than ever in this time of global insanity.

    The other soul-searching I've been doing for days is regarding depression and mental health. I've never once thought about suicide even during some of my darkest moments. As an unemotional and seemingly stable person, I've always been a 'pick yourself up and take a step forward' person, but this event has me questioning why I don't ever seem to care enough about anything to even pause for a bit of sadness anymore.
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  12. #102
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Suicides from work that I remember:

    1. There was a guy who recruited me for a job (that I accepted) about 18+ years ago. He was a very nice guy. After I started, I didn't interact with him much because I was in another part of the building, and our jobs were different. But I would see him around. After not seeing him for a while, I asked a coworker where he was. The coworker said he killed himself. I was shocked and asked what happened. He said that the guy had gone through a divorce from his wife and lost custody of his daughter. He became depressed and deliberately stopped taking his insulin (he was a type 1 diabetic). He eventually went into a coma and died.

    2. In the 90's, I was doing some work at a customer site in downtown Baltimore. The official contact there was an Italian American guy who looked like the actor Joseph Bologna. He was kind of a dictatorial, unpleasant guy, but I never really had any problems with him. I transitioned my work to guy I trained and then left the site. A few months later, the project manager for the customer (and a coworker of mine) came in my office with his eyes bugging out. He said, "I have the craziest story, but 'Joe' just hanged himself and he's dead!" I was like holy crap, what happened? He said, "Joe came home the other night, and as soon as he comes in the front door, his daughter is having sex with a black guy on the couch in their living room. He freaks out and screams at her and goes upstairs to find his wife and yell at her. When he gets to their room, his wife is having sex with another black guy in their bed." And then, the next night, the guy killed himself.
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  13. #103
    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
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    Suicides that I know of:

    We were four (girl) friends in high school and there was a group of an alternating number of guys about 2 years older than us we were in kind of a tease relationship with, sort of testing the waters.
    One of those guys had finally graduated (he'd failed another class twice earlier) together with 3 of our group of 4, and our friend didn't graduate due to losing her younger sister to bone cancer in our final year. So, I'd sometimes call her to ask her how she was doing. Some time after we graduated I called her and she told me he'd committed suicide at the age of 20. I never knew the reason or the details. It's weird to think he would have been 56 now.

    The other one I've posted earlier somewhere in a thread on this board. A co-worker in her mid thirties was married to a guy in his fifties who had a son in his twenties from a previous relationship. One day, my co-worker's dad came into the office, talked to his daughter privately and we heard this heart wrenching, primal, animalistic scream coming from her. They left and we had no idea what had happened. Turned out the step-son had jumped to his death from a building at the age of 25, just months after having become father for the first time. This happened around 1991. I can still hear that scream. I've never heard such a noise coming from a human being, not before and not after that day.
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  14. #104
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    Not all suicides are the culmination of years of chronic depression. Sometimes it’s a “brain snap” caused by alcohol or drugs or even an argument. And sometimes it’s an accident. We need to know more about the background to this particular suicide before making too many assumptions.
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    I was thinking about him today and thinking about all the comments on the web about how shocked people are (me as well) that he did this.

    I got to thinking about his show and thought even though the end product he delivered to us was a story about connections, how unlikely it was that he was making deep connections, or even brief but meaningful ones. The kind of connections that help keep you here. I read somewhere that he spent about 5 weeks a year with his daughter. I think I saw his stories and assumed this guy was giving and receiving love the world over but the truth is it was probably a rather lonely life with brief connections that lasted as long as the camera was on. It would be so easy to miss if he was struggling. Who saw him regularly to know? Also easy for him to feel lost and hopeless. IDK, just some random thoughts on him today.
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