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Thread: Star Magazine’s ‘Best & Worst Lovers’ list

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    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Default Star Magazine’s ‘Best & Worst Lovers’ list



    I don’t want to oversell this week’s Star Magazine cover story, but it’s really enjoyable. It’s silly and funny and mostly BS, and if you want to pick up a fun tabloid this weekend, it should be Star. Personally, I never care for the “Best & Worst Bodies” or “Diets” or whatever issues, although I will make an exception for the Best & Worst Dressed of any tabloid. But who would have thought to compile a list of the Best & Worst Hollywood lovers? Genius. Anyway, a lot of celebrities are included in the lengthy cover story, and here are my favorites:

    *Angelina Jolie is “boring” (according to Billy Bob Thornton) but Angelina and Brad “regularly do it behind the waterfall in their pool.”
    *Channing Tatum “loves getting things going by giving his wife a lap dance, and he often gives Jenna a full body massage after sex!”
    *An ex-lover says Colin Farrell is “as wild as Mickey Mouse… we made love three times but the actual sex only lasted 10 minutes.”
    *Taylor Swift’s lovers come and go so fast because she’s a prude – “All she wants to do is kiss for hours which is probably why none of the guys she dates stick around!”
    *Jennifer Aniston is a “spoiled princess” in bed – “She just lays there and wants to do none of the work… she’ll complain that she’s too tired or that her back hurts. She makes up every excuse to skip sex and never initiates it.”
    *Robert Pattinson is “amazing in bed,” says an ex-lover. “We’d glance at each other throughout the night because it made it more exciting when we got home.”
    *John Mayer is “sensational in bed” says an ex. “Every girl I know who has slept with John says it was the best sex of her life. I’m not sure how he does it, but after girls sleep with him, they’re ruined – totally hung up on him and left wanting more.”
    *Ashton Kutcher prefers threesomes – with two chicks.
    *Ben Affleck puts flowers around the bed and he’s into giving massages – and making sure his woman’s needs are taken care of before his own.”
    *Blake Lively is a “real sexpot” – she “sends sexy photos and videos to Ryan Reynolds and loves getting in sexy costumes for him. She uses toys while having sex too.”
    *Ryan Gosling “has a laser focus when making love – he’s completely in the moment and absolutely amazing.”
    *Bradley Cooper is “dull as dishwater in bed… he talks in nonstop French because he thinks it’s a turn-on, but it’s like being in bed with Pepe Le Pew!”
    *Adam Levine is more concerned with stretching out than his partners.
    *Prince Harry is “very sexual” and “he loves lotions and scented body oils. He knows how to please a lady and make her feel like she’s the only one he’s ever slept with.”
    *Jennifer Lopez is a screamer – “If she enjoys what you’re doing, she’ll scream so loud that the windows will rattle.”

    http://www.celebitchy.com/278916/whe...t_lovers_list/

  2. #2
    Elite Member Icepik's Avatar
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    I never thought I'd say this, but after reading that, I wanna have sex with Ryan Gosling. Even though Prince Harry is way too young, after reading that, I'd do him, too. Bradley is just acting that way because he hasn't met me yet.

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    I didn't see the Kardashian description, so here they are:

    Kim Kardashian is okay, but will leave a giant buttprint in the middle of the bed that you will find yourself falling into in the middle of the night.

    Khloe Kardashian likes to make love out in the snow because it reminds her of her native Himalayas.

    Kourtney is obsessed with cleanliness and will constantly interrupt lovemaking to reach for a douche (named Scott).

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    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    Jenni hates sex? That explains everything!
    BelledeJour likes this.

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Grimm didn't nickname her sandy-vag for nothing.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    With Blake Lively's face I knew she had to be good in bed. She can probably suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

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    Elite Member louiswinthorpe111's Avatar
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    Ben Affleck, I'm calling bullshit. If it said he like wild times with hookers...now THAT's totally believable. But rose petals? BUUUULSHIT!
    RELIGION: Treat it like it's your genitalia. Don't show it off in public, and don't shove it down your children's throats.

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    Elite Member gas_chick's Avatar
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    Damn I knew PHG was good in bed!!
    I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."

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    Elite Member cheray's Avatar
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    I want to know about Russel Brand.
    The others are boring.
    Jack I swear.

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    Gold Member Gossiplover's Avatar
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    Seeing this reminds me of the now defunct Star and NE boards.
    Piss off!

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    Elite Member Karistiona's Avatar
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    Haha I love this, it might be total bullshit but I'm choosing to believe it. Channing Tatum does lapdances - does anyone really find men lapdancing a turn on? I don't think I could stop laughing if that were me.

    I knew Affleck was awesome.
    I smile because I have no idea what's going on

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    Elite Member Laurent's Avatar
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    I love that pic of Jessica Simpson they chose for the cover. I bet Papa Perv has that one framed in his bathroom in front of a jumbo box of tissues and value-sized KY.
    “What are you looking at, sugar-tits?” - Mel Gibson

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    Elite Member WhateverLolaWants's Avatar
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    Stretching out? What does that mean?
    ----------------------------
    There will be times you might leap before you look
    There'll be times you'll like the cover and that's precisely why you'll love the book
    Do it anyway

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    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    I wanna know how come tim mcgraw's hat doesn't fall off.
    Karistiona likes this.



    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

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    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laurent View Post
    I love that pic of Jessica Simpson they chose for the cover. I bet Papa Perv has that one framed in his bathroom in front of a jumbo box of tissues and value-sized KY.
    You seem to have forgotten that Papa Joe is gay now so the whole fasciantion with his daughter's tits was just to make us think he was straight???

    Quote Originally Posted by witchcurlgirl View Post
    I wanna know how come tim mcgraw's hat doesn't fall off.
    double sided tape?
    Seapharris7 likes this.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

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