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Thread: Terry McMillan: Stella did NOT get her groove back

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    Elite Member Palermo's Avatar
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    Default Terry McMillan: Stella did NOT get her groove back

    Fifteen months after her bitter divorce and an appearance on Oprah, Bay Area author Terry McMillan says the younger man who once helped her get her groove back -- only to break her heart by coming out of the closet --is making her life a living hell. And, from the looks of things, it's about to get worse. McMillan's hairstylist ex-husband, Jonathan Plummer, has signed a book deal with
    Simon & Schuster for a fictionalized tell-all account based on his decadelong relationship with McMillan, whose own novel and movie about their early romance, "How Stella Got Her Groove Back," was an
    international best-seller.
    Life for McMillan is anything but groovy these days. She says she's afraid to leave her home and accuses Plummer of trying to bleed her for money and threatening to release embarrassing anti-gay slurs she left on his answering machine if she doesn't go along. For his part, Plummer says his ex-wife misinterpreted his motives.
    "He is like a f -- Duracell, and I want him out of my f -- life, and he won't let me out of his life. I can't live like this," McMillan said in an emotionally charged interview that ranged from rage to tears. We also received several e-mails from her, including this plea: "I just do not want to end up dead because no one did anything to stop him."
    A flash point came when Plummer left a message on the answering machine at McMillan's 7,000-square-foot home in Blackhawk last March, telling her, "There are people that are dying to hear the messages, and it will definitely put you back on the homophobic ... um, you know, stereotype again.
    "All this can go away, you know, if you just, you know, make an offer because I just thought I was treated bad ... poorly I guess with the settlement offer and ... I just thought, you know, it's just something for me to see if I can get back on my feet again because you know I'm struggling," Plummer said.
    McMillan filed for divorce from Plummer in January 2005 following 6 1/2 years of marriage. That was not long after Plummer -- 23 years her junior-- disclosed he was gay and had been cheating on her.
    Months of ugly publicity followed -- including revelations that McMillan had told Plummer in a letter that "the reason you're going to make a great
    fag is that most of you guys are just like dogs anyway. ... You do whatever with whomever pleases you and don't seem to care about the consequences." She also left him a bottle of Jamaican hot pepper sauce on which she wrote, "Fag Juice Burn Baby Burn," and scrawled "Jonathan's fag boyfriend fag" on a photo of a friend.
    Plummer acknowledged to us that he had left the phone message asking for money -- but insists it was simply one last attempt to put their feuding
    behind them instead of continuing to talk about it in the press. "Basically, I was saying if you don't want me to do any more interviews, just make me an offer -- and she calls it extortion," Plummer said.
    At the time of their divorce, each side had filed a restraining order against the other, and it looked like things might cool down. Plummer, who asked for spousal support as part of the divorce, eventually
    settled for $28,000, plus $27,000 more for his attorney, according to McMillan.
    Just after the divorce was finalized, the pair appeared together on Oprah Winfrey's show in November 2005. But instead of smoothing things over, the appearance degenerated into a replay of their split. And the feuding and finger-pointing haven't let up. McMillan says Plummer filed "bogus bankruptcy papers" from his failed dog-grooming business and left her holding the bag for back taxes on $32,000 in income he didn't disclose to the Internal Revenue Service. When she replied with a "cease and desist" letter, she says, Plummer retaliated with the threat to go public with her phone messages. McMillan says she went to the FBI, but the agency called it a civil matter and wouldn't touch it.
    Eventually, the pair filed fresh restraining orders against each other --with his accusing her (she says falsely) of threatening "to kill him or have him killed." These days, McMillan is writing a book about the trauma she's endured and how the court system let her down. She continues to insist that Plummer, a Jamaican, married her only to get his U.S. citizenship. Plummer works in a hair salon just 10 minutes from McMillan's house and is also working on his book, "Balancing Act," with a former New York Daily News reporter, Karen Hunter. It is scheduled for release this summer. "A black woman scorned is the worst kind of scorn -- and I've felt it from Terry," Plummer said. "That's why I'm doing this (book) -- to help (black men who have come out of the closet) and to give my spin on things." Plummer denies McMillan's claim that he married her for her money or to get citizenship, insisting he truly loved her when he left Jamaica at age 20 to live with her. "I know she was hurt, but I was hurt, too ... and trying to be honest about my sexuality," he said. Awhile later, he called us back: "Say," Plummer asked, "do you think you
    could mention where I work -- the Diablo Beauty Salon in Danville? I could use the clients."

    www.sfgate.com 1-21-07

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    I would be slightly angry if I were her, too.

    I also doubt that any book he writes will help black, gay men who have come out of the closet.

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    Elite Member sweetness's Avatar
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    Of course she was hurt and angry, I don't blame her. And this guy is an ass for trying to extort money from her.

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    Elite Member SweetPea's Avatar
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    This guy is something else. Lies to her about being gay on the intention of becoming a US citizen and he's going to take her to the cleaners by using the system. I think in clear cut cases like these, they should just deport him back to his own country. Case closed.
    Into the sunrise. The sunset is sad to me….it only means the night is coming.

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    I remember seeing them both on Oprah together after they had separated. They're an odd couple to say the least. Her emotions went from 'rage to tears', all the while she flirted with him, gazed into his eyes and looked like she was still very deeply in love with him. She talks out of both sides of her mouth. That might be part of the problem that "she can't get him out of her life".

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    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    "Basically, I was saying if you don't want me to do any more interviews, just make me an offer -- and she calls it extortion," Plummer said.
    I can't believe this bitch. I'd threaten to kill him too. And sue his ass for fraud for lying about your sexuality for 6 years to get US citizenship. Whattanasshole!

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    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    I also saw them on Oprah and was shocked she even sat in the same room with him the way she had been talking. She still seems to be in love with him....

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    Elite Member Icepik's Avatar
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    I think this is very sad. Can you just imagine the emotional damage he has caused her?

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    Hit By Ban Bus! pacific breeze's Avatar
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    Even more reason to get him out of her life. He saw a chance for a better life in another country and a meal ticket, and took it. That mindset is very common in places like Jamaica where there is a lot poverty.

    Not excusing him, but she married somebody a whole lot younger than herself and didn't think about some of the possible consequences. She had no way of knowing he was gay, but it sounds as if she let her heart rule her head just a little too much.

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    If you saw him on Oprah it was so damn obvious he was gay. She must have been blind or desperate.

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    Elite Member Palermo's Avatar
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    The part I found funny is he went from dog groomer to hair stylist. This place is about 10 minutes from me, should I go check him out? LOL

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    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    ^^Absolutely Palermo!! And take pix!

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    So sad.
    Claude os, aperi oculos!

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    As much as I don't condone deceit, I still think that some of the responsibility lies with her. She got involved with someone who was 20 years old. As it is Lindsay Lohan is 20 years old and many on this board consider her a 'child'. Many men and women at the age of 20 have not come to terms with their sexuality, so it might not necessarily have been a case of outright deceit on his part. He may have felt that being with this woman could keep him 'straight'. Also remember that Jamaica is extremely homophobic and therefore if he was living there his whole life he may have never really explored his sexuality. His move to the states could have played in major role in him coming to terms with his sexuality. This happens very often with Caribbean males.

    At the end of the day, if she decided to get involved with a guy who was very young and obviously not as mature as she was; she must have considered that there could be problems or maybe his intentions were questionable. IMO she should have exercised better judgment. As someone pointed out there is lot of poverty in Jamaica, I have been there many times, and if you are poor and uneducated, an 'American tourist woman' who is attracted to you will seem like an easy way out of a hard life. Is that right? No. However she should have been a bit more discerning with her choice of men.

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    Elite Member january's Avatar
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    She was naive, but he was cruel. I blame him alot more than her, and I think she has a right to be upset.

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