Cynthia Nixon ‘Chooses’ To Be Gay

[MissFit]

CynthiaNixon‘Chooses’ToBeGay

Posted on Jan 23, 2012 @ 07:30PM

Splash News

By Radar Staff

Cynthia Nixon is ruffling more than a few feathers in the LGBT community with her recent comments about her sexual preference.

The 45-year-old Sex and the City star, who is engaged to her longtime partner, Christine Marinoni, opened up to the New York Times about how she chooses to be gay — a viewpoint that goes against the grain of belief for many within the gay community.

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“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’

And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice,” she said. “I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.

“Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.”

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Nixon was previously involved with her old college sweetheart, Daniel Mozes, and the couple has two children together -- Samantha, 15, and Charlie, 9. They split in 2003 and the actress went public with her romance with 44-year-old Marinoni, a year later.

With the help of a male friend, Christine gave birth to the couple’s first child together last February, a baby boy, named Max Ellington Nixon-Marinoni.
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The Huffington Post reports that America Blog writer John Aravosis is amongst those displeased by Nixon’s “choice” of words.

"It's not a 'choice,' unless you consider my opting to date a guy with brown hair versus a guy with blonde hair a 'choice,'" he writes. "It's only a choice among flavors I already like... every religious right hatemonger is now going to quote this woman every single time they want to deny us our civil rights."

Source: http://www.radaronline.com/exclusive...stine-marinoni

[Jezi]

One can be Bi, and just have a preference for one gender over the other... right?

[Sleuth]

Wouldn't that just mean that she is bisexual?

ETA: Whoa! Same time Jezi *high fives*

[Jezi]

I think for Bi people it can be a choice. But for someone who's completely and truly gay? Well you can choose to live a straight 'lifestyle' of course. But it won't make you straight.

[Bellatheball]

I'm guessing that's what she meant but something about her lesbianism has never rung true for some reason. In any case, I can see why many are offended by her comments. As a group, GLBT seem to work hard at getting people to understand this is not a choice, it's an orientation. Hell, even my 73 year old dad has started to say that. She might mean well or be offering a different perspective but perhaps it's too soon to challenge the current work that's being done toward equality.

[PinkPanther]

I think her point is that, ultimately, it doesn't matter whether it's a choice or not because gays deserve equal rights and respect regardless and I tend to agree. It's no one's business why someone is gay, straight, or bisexual, they simple are and that's okay.

[Syd]

I respect her for voicing her opinion, knowing it would be unpopular. I suppose it could be a choice for some, but yeah...I think that would make them Bi.

I hate labels though.

That said, I think my GF of 21 years and I would be considered pretty fucking GAY.

[Bellatheball]

Tell that to the people who think gays can just change their mind/lifestyle.

[faithanne]

I disagree, think it matters a great deal whether it's a choice or not. It shouldn't, but if you're a young teen being bullied or even suicidal, it doesn't help having people tell you that it's your choice. If that's how she feels about her own situation, fine. But maybe, until we live in an ideal society where it doesn't matter, she should STFU.

[Trixie]

I can't pretend to understand exactly what she means, but maybe she's trying to spare the feelings of her ex-husband, and children, by not downplaying that relationship, or saying it was a mistake?

I dunno, I guess I've never really looked at it as a choice because I can't say I chose to be straight. I just am.

[Callalily]

Hmmm...she's not making a blanket statement, she's saying it's that way for her and if that's the way she feels, who is anyone to tell her, 'no, you are wrong?'

If she feels it is HER choice, so what. If others feel differently about it, then so be it.

[NoNoRehab]

The problem is that there's a whole segment of the population that has long tried to claim that homosexuality is a "choice" and that gays just don't try hard enough to be "normal," so to have a prominent gay activist and famous celeb say, "Hey, I just made a choice to be gay one day, but most of my life I was straight," is ammo for them.

And it doesn't go both ways. What person - aside from those crazy religious "ex-gays" - has ever said, "Oh, I'm gay but I made the choice to be straight." I accept that Nixon was not a person who always felt that she was attracted to women, but I think in her rush to not "invalidate" the men she's dated she's put her foot in it. I would argue that Nixon was always bisexual and still is, and she dated men in the past then fell in love with a woman. But that doesn't chance the reality for the overwhelming majority of gay people always knew that they were attracted to the same sex and cannot make the "choice" to just be attracted to someone else, just as the overwhelming majority of straight people can't. Maybe Cynthia Nixon is one of the few people in history who can control how her brain works and who she's attracted to, but I'm more apt to think that she's just a bisexual in denial.

[faithanne]

^But why did she need to say it at all? Are so many people coming up to her and saying "I understand you didn't have a choice" that it's getting to be a problem she needs to speak out about? It's not as if there's so much gossip about her and her ex-husband and people calling their marriage a lie (that I know of). She almost sounds like she's trying to be the victim of reverse bullying or some shit.

She knows that there are millions of people who are struggling with trying to make the world understand that for them it is the exact opposite, it's not a choice. She's not helping them at all. That's why I think she should STFU.

ETA: I was responding to the post before NoNo's.

[Pojo]

In terms of legal rights, it really doesn't matter whether it's a choice or not. It shouldn't invalidate anyone's civil right to marry and be protected from discrimination. She's said in the past that she believes everyone is truly bisexual, so that is where she's coming from. Not everyone agrees, and that's okay. Can't expect everyone to approach sexuality in the same way, especially when there's so much more to learn about it.

[Just Kill Me]

Okay, so maybe she's not a good spokesperson.
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