Yet another dead anorexic model

**Lani** · February 20th, 2007, 02:43 PM

Originally Posted by Melyanna

Thank you for sharing this. Most people doesn't seem to understand that anorexia is not something you chose to have and that can be cured just by talking or yelling to the ill person.
It is difficult to diagnose and difficult to cure.
Often parents can't do anything to help their daughters/sons even if they want.

As I've often said, it would be like screaming and yelling at an addict. As my Psych tells me: and ED is basically a different symtom to the same illness as any other addiction.

My parents have been great. THey dont understand it, but when they d get frustrated at how long my recovery takes its out of love. They dont get why I loathe myself so much. They dont get that I think I'm uglyand unworthy. They just want me to be happy. I know that when I hurt myself I hurt them and thats why they want to do the tough love approach. But with an ED tough Love just doesnt work.

I'm thinking I want to talk in schools when I'm 'recovered'. Hell I want to talk in schools now. Girls totally need an eye opener.

**A*O** · February 21st, 2007, 02:40 PM

I am sure most young women know exactly what the risks of EDs are but like young men who drive too fast they just don't think anything bad is going to happen to them and meanwhile the 'rewards' of being 'skinny and popular' outweigh the downside. Having an ED is almost a badge of honour because it makes them one of the In Crowd.

Only yesterday my 16yr old daughter announced she was going to start eating healthier food even though she already has a pretty balanced diet. When I asked her why she said "because I'm getting too chubby". I don't know whether someone told her that or whether she's caving in to the pressure but I'm going to be watching her like a hawk because she's not overweight at all.

**Lani** · February 21st, 2007, 03:56 PM

The funny thing is at the moment it seems that everywhere you look people are trying to lose weight, it almost seems unnatural to NOT want to lose weight. I hope that makes sense.

I get where your daughter is at. When I wanted to eat healthier I wa slooking in fitness magazines and was being told to 'eat clean' and to only have fruit and vegetables and lean protien and if you can help it cut out carbs, but have good carbs and not this and have that, and eat something every 4 hours and dont eat before bed and all this bullshita bout how to be healthy. I think being healthy is to not have all of that garbage in your thoughts all the time.

AO, if you want me to write her a letter...lol..never know, it might help her get her thoughts back to a normal place.

**A*O** · February 21st, 2007, 04:17 PM

Thanks Lani - I think that at the moment I just need to Alert, not Alarmed (remember those anti-terrorist fridge magnets we had? LOL). She's got a very sensible head on her shoulders and isn't in the least bit concerned about her appearance as such - in fact sometimes I wish she did care more: she's a bit of a dag LOL - and she's always been the kind of person who only eats when she's actually hungry, not just because it's a certain time of the day or a set mealtime. We don't have set mealtimes in this house - a throwback to my childhood when the whole household revolved around them.

I think the pressure, if any, is coming from school and the Yr11 ana princesses who are probably making bitchy remarks.

**travelbug** · February 21st, 2007, 04:49 PM

Originally Posted by Lani

The funny thing is at the moment it seems that everywhere you look people are trying to lose weight, it almost seems unnatural to NOT want to lose weight. I hope that makes sense.

I get where your daughter is at. When I wanted to eat healthier I wa slooking in fitness magazines and was being told to 'eat clean' and to only have fruit and vegetables and lean protien and if you can help it cut out carbs, but have good carbs and not this and have that, and eat something every 4 hours and dont eat before bed and all this bullshita bout how to be healthy. I think being healthy is to not have all of that garbage in your thoughts all the time.

AO, if you want me to write her a letter...lol..never know, it might help her get her thoughts back to a normal place.

I hear you. I think most of us (women) have some kind of issue with food. I exercise regularly (run 12 miles/week + Pilates + weights) and I eat very well compared to most Americans, and sometimes all I can think about is the next "mini-meal" and what I can have that's "clean" and how long until I can eat again and it just makes me hungrier. I pretty much eat the same things every day so I don't have to worry about weighing and counting the calories, but I still think about food more than I should IMO.

I am clearly at a healthy weight but I worry about my body's flaws...I hate to be seen in a bathing suit. I am ashamed to say that I constantly compare myself to other women I know. For the ones that are fatter than me, I feel superior and want them to be jealous...for the ones smaller than me, I am jealous but at the same time I admire them and try to quiz them on what they're doing.

I'm not at the ED point yet...I tried to make myself throw up once after bingeing on snack cakes, and I couldn't do it. I try to eat healthy most of the time, but I find that it makes me want the "bad" food more, and like I said, fixate on that next meal...it's really annoying. I wish I could just enjoy food and not worry so much. But all I can think of is how the food I eat is going to assist or impede my weight loss. *sigh*

**Lani** · February 21st, 2007, 05:01 PM

They say if you restrict or have bad foods you just want thoes foods more because they're what you're thinking about. Purging food is not good. been there, still go there sometimes. I dont even binge on bad foods. I'm just screwed up. Hyper healthy is actually an eating disorder though. its called orthorexia and can be as dangerous as anorexia. Its where my ED started. I was orthorexic for years before anyone noticed. Anything thats disordered about eating patterns, a fixation on food and a fixation on seperating food into good and bad columns is an eating disorder. So please, if you feel that you're heading down that track, go get some help before you end up where I am at with the whole deal. Get it early and you wont have to live with it for years.

Gah Was just looking at the swimsuit models on The bastardly thinking 'I wish I could look like them'. I have to stop this shit. Its like self torture. *beats head against desk*

And this thread has gone so off track. Sorry.

**A*O** · February 21st, 2007, 06:51 PM

There are some seriously fucked up women at my gym. Either anas who spend literally HOURS on the treadmill or the super-fit women who carry their protein shake around with them, obsessively making notes in their exercise journals while they grunt through huge amounts of weights and reps. These are NOT bodybuilders or training triathletes - they really are gym junkies.

**travelbug** · February 21st, 2007, 07:03 PM

What's really sick is sometimes I wish I had more willpower when it comes to eating. It seems that the more I exercise, the more my appetite increases. I am currently searching for something to control it (safely and legally of course). And no, I don't want that apple, I want one of my kids' Pop Tarts! Like that kind of hunger. And what happens is that I actually feel weak if I don't eat about every 3 hours during the day. Like, for breakfast at 7:00am I'll have a big bowl of oatmeal made with lowfat milk with flaxseed and cinnamon sprinkled on, sweetened with Splenda, and by 10:00 I am starving. Can't most people make it until lunch?

When I was in college I was just not in the habit of having breakfast (or lunch a lot of times). I was just busy and didn't think about eating! I survived on Mountain Dew and cigarettes! Then late in the day I would get really weak and realize wow, I haven't eaten all day, and then go get something at the cafeteria.

In grad school I started trying to eat healthier and began to eat breakfast every day. It didn't take long before I needed to eat breakfast...like I would feel weak without it.

It seems like the more you eat, the more you need to eat?

**Mr. Authority** · February 21st, 2007, 07:43 PM

From what I know in terms of dieting, it's actually okay to treat yourself in a while with an "indulgent" food. However if you literally stay away from sweets or fatty meats for a long time, then it gets harder and harder to not lose control and go purging or binging. That's why alot of GOOD nutrionists suggest that you moderate what you eat and allow for some indulgent foods in a diet, along with steady excersise.

It seems like the more you eat, the more you need to eat?

That's true. Your body needs energy and that's what calories are. If you eat a certain amount of food but then try to eat less, then you body craves the amount you had beforehand.

**Lani** · February 21st, 2007, 08:25 PM

besides, my nutritionist says that it helps your metabolisum to eat more frequently.

**A*O** · February 21st, 2007, 08:50 PM

It seems that the more I exercise, the more my appetite increases

Well yeah - your body needs more 'fuel' and hunger is its way of telling you to top up the tank.

**Lobelia** · February 21st, 2007, 09:05 PM

Originally Posted by Lani

I think being healthy is to not have all of that garbage in your thoughts all the time.

I think you're right - that was such a simple yet profound thing to say.

Originally Posted by Lani

And this thread has gone so off track. Sorry.

It's not off track, and Lani, I think it's wonderful that you've put your words and your experiences out there for people to see. You have probably helped people, although you may never know it.

**pacific breeze** · February 21st, 2007, 09:26 PM

Originally Posted by hotncmom

What's really sick is sometimes I wish I had more willpower when it comes to eating. It seems that the more I exercise, the more my appetite increases. I am currently searching for something to control it (safely and legally of course). And no, I don't want that apple, I want one of my kids' Pop Tarts! Like that kind of hunger. And what happens is that I actually feel weak if I don't eat about every 3 hours during the day. Like, for breakfast at 7:00am I'll have a big bowl of oatmeal made with lowfat milk with flaxseed and cinnamon sprinkled on, sweetened with Splenda, and by 10:00 I am starving. Can't most people make it until lunch?

When I was in college I was just not in the habit of having breakfast (or lunch a lot of times). I was just busy and didn't think about eating! I survived on Mountain Dew and cigarettes! Then late in the day I would get really weak and realize wow, I haven't eaten all day, and then go get something at the cafeteria.

In grad school I started trying to eat healthier and began to eat breakfast every day. It didn't take long before I needed to eat breakfast...like I would feel weak without it.

It seems like the more you eat, the more you need to eat?

You have to have protein in the morning. A few almonds goes a long way to making you feel satisfied, for example. Protein stays with you a lot longer than carbs, even healthy carbs. I have an organic blueberry flax waffle -- just typing that made me feel precious -- with a hint of organic maple syrup, some bannana or pineapple or berries on top and a small handful of almonds. Along with coffee and juice, it holds me until lunch. Or I have non-fat yogourt with fruit and nuts, or low-fat granola. But it seems to work.

The days I miss breakfast, like today, are usually the days I go off my diet somehow.

**Lani** · February 22nd, 2007, 12:43 AM

Originally Posted by Lobelia

I think you're right - that was such a simple yet profound thing to say.

It's not off track, and Lani, I think it's wonderful that you've put your words and your experiences out there for people to see. You have probably helped people, although you may never know it.

Oh thank you Lobelia. I sometimes wonder if I'm starting to sound like a broken record ya know?

I honestly think I'm meant to go hrough this to help people. IT would seem like such a waste to have my life put on hold for nothing.

**Nerissa** · February 22nd, 2007, 02:43 AM

You should eat 5-6 small meals a day. (A walk before breakfast kickstart your methabolism! You don't have to do it everyday..)

Breakfast
Ex: Fruit/youghurt
Lunch
Ex: Fruit/youghurt
dinner
Ex: Fruit/youghurt

You should decrease the amount of your meals during the day because you burn less calories when you sleep at night.. Most of what you eat should be green food like fruit/vegetables. The more green food you eat the less of water you need to drink because there is lots of water in them. One day a week I get to eat whatever I like to.

This is how I keep myself healthy.