Keely Shaye Smith - Pierce Brosnan's wife

[MgMMD]

When I was at my MOST emaciated. I mean, get the girl an IV she is going to die. I was treated a thousand times better than when I was at 175lbs.
At my 2% body fat shop workers would help me with clothes, people would look me in the eye, compliment me on how " beautiful" I was.
At 175 I was invisible and when I wasn't invisible I was treated as a person who had something wrong with me. I am never ever going to be thin again, but I am thinner and I am working on some amazing muscles and curves ( I am large framed) . But I can tell you from both sides of the equation, there is no comparison.

[Icepik]

^^^ This is true. I however was never overweight (Or atleast, I don't think so)> The most I have ever weighed is 128, which is what I weigh now (am 5'7) and I have never heard a 'compliment' about my weight until I went down to 102lbs when I was under alot of stress. I would have people saying how great I looked; that I never looked better. It truly was incredible how many compliments I received.

I managed to get myself back up to my regular weight and the weight comments have pretty much ceased.

Thin women will never be treated badly. It's what society craves.

[Algernon]

Originally Posted by PlasticGirl

Its not only where i live that skinny women get the venom - your comments were also venomous towards the skinny woman. You also seemed very angry at the stereotypical thin woman being praised for being slim. I agree that people see fat ppl as being lazy/slobs as unfair, but seeing thin people as starved is unfair as well. I am slim (not stick thin) and i GORGE on food, i always stick up for fat people when other girls say "oh she probably stuffs her face all the time, its not a disease to be fat - its gluttony that causes weight gain" i always say "NO, u either have hereditary fat genes or u dont, because i PIG OUT and stay slim. Fat ppl do overeat, but their metabolism doesnt process it as fast as slim ppl's do"

So you gorge and stay slim. Well, good for you, I was that way once, as well. 15 years and 2 children later, I struggle with weight where I never did before. When I was skinny I never called overweight people lazy or full of shit about 'diets not working'. Now that I'm in the same place, I do get 'venomous' toward skinny people with that attitude. I'm not venomous at all toward a chick for simply being thin...but when she starts spouting shit to bring me down, then I get upset.

[A*O]

After my two pregnancies I was about the same size as KSS and I was totally fucking miserable. I could not bear to look in the mirror. I stopped even trying to wear fashionable clothes (which don't exist for women that size anyway). That was when I developed my shoe fetish - my feet didn't get fat! I thought about my weight and how unhappy I was about it every single waking moment, and sometimes in my dreams too. People ignored me, patronised me, made assumptions about me - I became 'invisible' which was kinda ironic given my size, and became almost agoraphobic, turning down invitations and becoming very socially isolated for fear of being 'judged'. I saw nutritionists, doctors, I took antidepressants, appetite supressants, I tried ALL the diets (under medical supervision), I exercised obsessively and STILL the weight did not shift. My doctor eventually threw up her hands in defeat and said the only solution was gastric bypass surgery which I was absolutely NOT prepared to do.

I'm not sure what happened to make me turn the corner but eventually I worked out an exercise/eating routine that seemed to work - albeit glacially slowly. I chopped and changed my workouts so my body could never get into 'cruise' mode. I worked out early on that carbs are The Enemy for me so I cut right back on bread, rice, pasta, potatoes and REDUCED MY PORTIONS significantly using the small plate trick. I then put my head down and slogged away at it for nearly 2 years and eventually, EVENTUALLY, my weight crept back to the 'healthy' range for my height and frame, although I will never be the size I was before I had kids. But that's OK, now I am happy again.

I did not mean this to turn into a Pity Party, but you slim women really have NO IDEA of the day to day hell of being overweight and negatively judged for it, even subconsciously. People seem to think that fat women don't care about their appearance. I can assure you that fat women probably obsess MORE about their weight and appearance more than 'normal' people, but it's an entirely negative preoccupation. I truly HATED myself when I was overweight and felt like shit all the time - the last thing I needed was other people treating me like shit too.

And I absolutely do not believe the Fat And Proud brigade no matter how much they proclaim that they celebrate their 'curves' (there's a lot of euphemisms in the world of fat). I guarantee that deep down every single fat woman is totally miserable with her weight and the psychological, social, health, self-esteem (what's that?) problems it brings.

[Algernon]

Oh, I forgot to mention, PlasticGirl, that after reading your other posts I doubt that you 'stick up for' fat people as you said in that last post. That seemed a bit contradictory.

[A*O]

^^^ Unfortunately it's a thin line between 'sticking up for' and 'patronising'. Not saying PG is doing either, but it happens.

[Algernon]

^^^AO, so sorry to hear of your struggles! It is nice to know that we aren't in it alone, though.

[A*O]

Things are OK now, but it's been a long, LONG journey and I have to remain vigilant and motivated every moment, every day. I know that if I let my guard down for even a weekend I would gain 10lbs easy. Note to me: self-pity isn't very flattering AO. Do a Jennifer and STFU already.

[suede]

Originally Posted by sweetrebel

Depending on her height and actual BMI she might not be all that 'unfit'...maybe she feels comfortable at that weight and doesn't feel the need to starve herself. .

She may very feel comfortable but I can tell you without a doubt regardless of her height, weight, muscle mass, bone size, bone density - the woman is obese there is no way around it period.

Yah so she's obese - she may or may not be comfortable about her self and her husband has enough class to love her for her and that is wonderful but to deny that this woman is not medically obese is jst maddening.

[NoDayButToday]

About the "Fat and Proud brigade", I was a member for a very long time. I work in a plus size clothing store where we are encouraged to be positive about our size (and yet there's always at least 1 person on a crazy diet), and I used to go to all the BBW bashes. Plus size women are only proud about themselves when surrounded by other plus size women. They instantly become less comfortable when surrounded by the skinny chicks. In fact, I like how I look in clothes, I think that generally my shape is a pleasant one, just larger than the thin girls (it's a slightly more bottomheavy hourglass). I can be getting ready to go out and think I look really, really hot, but then I go out with my friends-who go towards the thin side, and I instantly feel like I look stupid. I act like I don't feel stupid, but I'll still get ignored by all the guys wherever we go b/c I'm the "fat chick". It doesn't matter so much to me anymore b/c I haven't been single for a long time, but it used to when I was single. It also helped me to sort of settle into my "one of the guys" role. When I meet guys they don't see me as a sexual being b/c of my size (b/c it's not cool to even act like you could like anything about the fat chick), so I become their friend. That's probably the only part of being bigger that I actually like, I have some great guy friends that I don't know if I would have if I were thin.

When I went to BBW dances, the women there were all in the same boat, and all looked like they were truly happy b/c there weren't the skinny girls to steal their thunder, in a way. It's rough being overweight, ESPECIALLY as a teen. You have to develop a really thick skin. I'm sort of at the point where I've reached the end of my rope of "I like who I am as I am and if people don't like it too bad", that only gets you so far. Eventually it all wears you down and you know you need to change something. Plus, my boyfriend was put on a diet by his doctor, I was going to do it with him, then never really started. I saw him this weekend and he looks great, he's down 2 pants sizes and it's my turn to get my ass in gear.

I apologize if this was all really hard to follow, it was very stream of consciousness so the thoughts are probably not as organized as they could be.

[pacific breeze]

I don't think Keely is grossly overweight, but it's hard to imagine she feels great about herself, even if her husband loves her and has no plans to leave.

I used to be able to eat anything I wanted and stay rail thin but around age 35, that all changed. I never had kids, but my metabolism slowed down and when you're short and small-boned, EVERY pound shows. Gaining 5 pounds is equivalent to gaining 15 in appearance at least.

I went through all the usual denials and screwed around for a few years with diets and up-and-down weight and all the emotional upheaval that went with it, until I finally realized that good food and moderate exercise was the key. I still have to watch what I eat a little, but now it's become a habit. And as long as I exercise at least three times a week, I rarely gain.

Nothing wrong with being "naturally" thin, but it generally doesn't last, and it's not a huge achievement. It's just a temporary, and occasionally genetic, fact.

[suede]

I want to add something because most people think that "large" people are the only one that can be obese - that is not neccesarily true.

If you are a woman and your body fat is over 32% you are headed toward obesity - now you can be 5'7" and 130lbs and have 40% body fat - guess what you are technically obese - not "large" but over fat.

It's no easy road to be healthy and fit and we've been branded with the idea that skinny is healthy and attractive and by skinny I don't mean slender I mean unhealthy and boney with clear signs of malnutrition. So whether you are big or small finding a healthy you will require some work and not only is it not easy the line always seems to be drawn between "skinny" and "fat" which is unfortunate.

[A*O]

It's actually better to be Fat + Fit instead of Thin + Unfit. Even when I weighed a lot more than I do now I was able to do a daily, hard, sweaty 1 hour cardio workout at the gym. And you are right suede - the critical issue in determining whether someone is technically 'obese' is their BMI, not what they look like, or weigh.

[MrsDark]

[quote=suede]I want to add something because most people think that "large" people are the only one that can be obese - that is not neccesarily true.

If you are a woman and your body fat is over 32% you are headed toward obesity - now you can be 5'7" and 130lbs and have 40% body fat - guess what you are technically obese - not "large" but over fat.

QUOTE]

By that same token, you can be 5'2" and 143# and 25% bodyfat. Yet someone who might be looking at just your height and weight written down on a piece of paper will call you obese. There was a point when those were my exact stats once. I literally had a nurse at a doc's office look me up and down and make me get off the scale so she could make sure the scale was adjusted correctly and reweigh me because even she could not believe I weighed that much. When I told her it was probably correct, because I'd weighed at the gym the night before...she asked me where I was hiding it all. It was during my roughly two year spell of powerlifting with heavy weights. I assure you I did not look like the women you see at the Olympics or the bodybuilders who take steroids. Kind of Serena-ish. Only I did not wear revealing clothes like her so I just looked pretty much normal weight. I was wearing size 6 jeans that day, which were actually kind of roomy in the waist...but they fit my thighs and ass, where as a size that fit my waist probably wouldn't have fit my thighs/ass then.

KSS probably does have a bodyfat % on the high side. But technically she just might not be obese. Given that she has some shape to her, I say she's about on the borderline, but still in the overweight/overfat category, not obese. A person this size does look like a gigantic heifer compared to the 110# women she is surrounded by. I'm sorry, if you have even a small to moderate amount of muscle mass, you should weigh more than 110# if you are over 5'2". If not, you are too thin. And when and if you do put on weight (unless it is from working out and exercising) it will be fat. Having very little muscle mass makes it even harder to lose fat. And you can only restrict your calories so much (and restricting calories too much actually causes your body to hold onto fat). If anyone here is a *naturally skinny* who is used to eating like a horse and not having to workout, I hope for your sake that your metabolism holds out indefinitely, otherwise you're gonna be in a real pickle.

[NawdleZouss]

Originally Posted by PlasticGirl

Its not only where i live that skinny women get the venom - your comments were also venomous towards the skinny woman. You also seemed very angry at the stereotypical thin woman being praised for being slim. I agree that people see fat ppl as being lazy/slobs as unfair, but seeing thin people as starved is unfair as well. I am slim (not stick thin) and i GORGE on food, i always stick up for fat people when other girls say "oh she probably stuffs her face all the time, its not a disease to be fat - its gluttony that causes weight gain" i always say "NO, u either have hereditary fat genes or u dont, because i PIG OUT and stay slim. Fat ppl do overeat, but their metabolism doesnt process it as fast as slim ppl's do"

In what way was I venomous towards thin women? I don't have a thing against them. I do think slimness shouldn't be praised, the same as being overweight shouldn't be praised because it's *unhealthy*. Granted, there are women like yourself who are naturally thin, and perfectly healthy. But they're very rare, and as long as people hail the Nicole Kidmans and Gisele Bundchens of the world, thinness will still be the standard of beauty, a standard that the immense majority of women will not be able to achieve without putting their health in jeopardy and completely sacrificing their self-esteem.