Jessica Simpson Better Lose Weight Or She Isn't Getting Married

**sluce** · March 19th, 2012, 10:33 AM

Best comment on that website so far:

Looks like a python ate a warthog.

**NVash** · March 19th, 2012, 11:08 AM

Her fashion sense in maternity is seriously lacking. This is a problem because, didnt she say something about starting a maternity line? Who in the World would wear even half of the junk shes worn out since becoming pregnant?

**Laurent** · March 19th, 2012, 01:03 PM

What the fresh hell is that? A light blue, ruffled, snakeskin muumuu and this bitch is supposed to be a style icon. And if she were size 6, you know she'd still have this fugly shit on.

**southernbelle** · March 19th, 2012, 01:14 PM

I can't believe how huge she is.

**greysfang** · March 19th, 2012, 01:28 PM

Her weave is getting Britney-level busted.

**Laurent** · March 19th, 2012, 05:13 PM

Jessica Simpson: My Baby Shower "Felt Like a Perfect Dream"
Celebrity Moms March 19, 2012 AT 4:41PM
By Ariana Finlayson

Credit: Paul Drinkwater/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank

Jessica Simpson is over the moon about being feted with a baby shower that apparently met all her expectations!

"All day yesterday felt like a perfect dream! Thank you Mindy Weiss for the best baby shower any mommy could ever want! Love you!" the pregnant star tweeted Monday.

On Sunday the 31-year-old mommy-to-be, was joined by more than 50 of her close friends and family, including her Texas kin and stars like Odette Annable, Simpson's sister Ashlee Simpson and Jessica Alba.

"It was a kid friendly shower with many of her friends bringing babies," a source tells Us Weekly about the bash that took place in Los Angeles. "Jessica [Alba] brought her baby Haven, 7 months, and Ashlee brought Bronx, 3.

Being that the Fashion Star mentor confirmed this month to ELLE magazine that she and her fiance Eric Johnson are expecting a girl, the baby bash's color theme was pink and yellow.

"She seemed completely ecstatic" an eyewitness tells Us.

Read more: Jessica Simpson: My Baby Shower "Felt Like a Perfect Dream" - UsMagazine.com

I can't look away.

**greysfang** · March 19th, 2012, 05:55 PM

Why did pregnancy age her hands 20 years?

**DeChayz** · March 19th, 2012, 06:23 PM

I fucking hate when grown-ass women refer to themselves as "mommy".

**ManxMouse** · March 19th, 2012, 09:14 PM

Originally Posted by DeChayz

I fucking hate when grown-ass women refer to themselves as "mommy".

Me too. And anyway, she's not one yet. I can't stand her fat, retarded self.

**Bellatheball** · March 20th, 2012, 12:39 AM

She was just on Jimmy Kimmel (sp?). She is really, really huge.

She said someone gave her a baby shower gift - a Dallas Cowboys book - that had tons of info about Tony Romo. It was kinda funny.

**southernbelle** · March 20th, 2012, 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by Bellatheball

She was just on Jimmy Kimmel (sp?). She is really, really huge.

She said someone gave her a baby shower gift - a Dallas Cowboys book - that had tons of info about Tony Romo. It was kinda funny.

I actually get the impression that she's still hung up on Tony Romo and if he hadn't married someone else, she would still be chasing after him and begging him to take her back. I would not have been amused if someone gave me a book full of information about my ex. And I also wouldn't still be claiming to be a die-hard Dallas Cowboys fan, even if I liked them team before. I just couldn't do it.

**Laurent** · March 20th, 2012, 09:09 AM

It's all just amniotic fluid, folks!

"Whenever My Water Breaks, It Will Be Like a Fire Hydrant!"
Celebrity Moms March 20, 2012 AT 8:38AM
By Zach Johnson

Credit: INFphoto.com

Though her extra large baby bump may indicate otherwise, Jessica Simpson still has about four weeks to go before she gives birth.

Appearing on Jimmy Kimmel LIVE! Monday, the pregnant 31-year-old said she's growing tired of her pregnancy curves. "I feel I have a bowling ball sitting on my hookah!" Simpson laughed. "Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks it will be like a fire hydrant!"

Simpson isn't nervous about going into labor, though. "I'm ready to push!" she told host Jimmy Kimmel, 44.

Though Simpson and fiance Eric Johnson, 32, have temporarily put wedding plans on hold, the former NFL player "feels like my husband already," the singer said. "We are just doing it a little bit backwards."

The Fashion Star mentor appeared on the talk show just one day after her star-studded baby shower. "It was a Charlotte's Web thing. We had a whole fair," the Texas native said. "We had fried Oreos!"

Guests included mom Tina, sister Ashlee, and actresses Jessica Alba and Odette Annable. "Jessica received tons of gifts mostly wrapped in pink gift wrap and boxes," a source tells Us Weekly. "There were several books, stuffed toys and clothes among other items."

Read more: Jessica Simpson: "Whenever My Water Breaks, It Will Be Like a Fire Hydrant!" - UsMagazine.com

**JadeStar70** · March 20th, 2012, 10:09 AM

Just what she needs,....fried Oreos. Good Lord!

**Laxmobster** · March 20th, 2012, 10:24 AM

I would hate it if a bowling ball were sitting on my hookah! Those shits are expensive...

**Bellatheball** · March 20th, 2012, 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by southernbelle

I actually get the impression that she's still hung up on Tony Romo and if he hadn't married someone else, she would still be chasing after him and begging him to take her back. I would not have been amused if someone gave me a book full of information about my ex. And I also wouldn't still be claiming to be a die-hard Dallas Cowboys fan, even if I liked them team before. I just couldn't do it.

Agreed. It was surprising she even mentioned it to be honest.

Originally Posted by Laurent

It's all just amniotic fluid, folks!

Read more: Jessica Simpson: "Whenever My Water Breaks, It Will Be Like a Fire Hydrant!" - UsMagazine.com

Hot damn. Look at 'em both. It's like something you'd see on a box of Lucky Charms.