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Thread: Allegra Versace doing well in recovery from anorexia

  1. #91
    Elite Member Annika's Avatar
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    she looks really bad. the black dress is like she's going to a funeral...sends shivers down my spine.

    reminds me of those twins that died in the nineties of anorexia. they looked ghastly thin and awful when the first one died. the second one killed herself a few years later.

    samantha and michaela kendall were their names.


  2. #92
    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    ok this is such a moot comment; ^ but why would you do that to yourself!

  3. #93
    Gold Member Straight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AliceInWonderland View Post
    ok this is such a moot comment; ^ but why would you do that to yourself!

    dig a little deep and you will usually find sexual abuse.

  4. #94
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    ^^^
    i disagree. i think too often sexual abuse is used as the easy explanation for everything.
    i think when it comes to girls and eating disorders, it's usually more accurate to look at the mother, her relationship with her daughter, her own relationship with food, control, and other issues. most women i've known with eating disorders had mothers that fell into these categories:
    - very beautiful and thin and vain, with daughters that weren't as attractive or were chubby as little girls and pressured into sports and/or dieting by their good-looking mothers
    - overweight. and overeating is an eating disorder as well and i guess in the daughters' case, they develop their own eating issues from having a mother with unhealthy eating habits and not wanting to be overweight like her.
    - super demanding and control freakish and who expects her daughter to excel at everything she does, and to look good doing it.
    - have eating disorders themselves. whether it's anorexia, bulimia, orthorexia or going to the gym for hours every day and obsessing about food and calories and diets.

    or a combination of these.

    very rarely have i met girls/women with eating disorders who don't have a complicated relationship with their mothers and whose mothers don't have food issues themselves.
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  5. #95
    Elite Member o0Amber0o's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    ^^^
    i disagree. i think too often sexual abuse is used as the easy explanation for everything.
    i think when it comes to girls and eating disorders, it's usually more accurate to look at the mother, her relationship with her daughter, her own relationship with food, control, and other issues. most women i've known with eating disorders had mothers that fell into these categories:
    - very beautiful and thin and vain, with daughters that weren't as attractive or were chubby as little girls and pressured into sports and/or dieting by their good-looking mothers
    - overweight. and overeating is an eating disorder as well and i guess in the daughters' case, they develop their own eating issues from having a mother with unhealthy eating habits and not wanting to be overweight like her.
    - super demanding and control freakish and who expects her daughter to excel at everything she does, and to look good doing it.
    - have eating disorders themselves. whether it's anorexia, bulimia, orthorexia or going to the gym for hours every day and obsessing about food and calories and diets.

    or a combination of these.

    very rarely have i met girls/women with eating disorders who don't have a complicated relationship with their mothers and whose mothers don't have food issues themselves.
    I agree with a lot of this. The disorder is about control, a girl who is in a demanding family or has controlling parents may think food is the only think she CAN control. I may not get the grades my parents want me to get, I can't control what teachers give me, but I can control what does or doesn't go into my mouth. In situations where it's siblings that have the issue, it almost becomes more of a competition than anything.

    Sure I'm, sure there are some cases that were triggered by sexual abuse or whatever, but I don't belive the majority of them are. Shows like Intervention ALWAYS point to sexual abuse but you have to look deeper at the person's relationships, family and way of handling situations...chances are the real cause lies in one of those.
    All you can do at life is play along and hope that sometimes you get it right.

  6. #96
    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    from my personal experience of girl I've known with eating disorders; its been 50/50 ^

  7. #97
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    Many girls who've been sexually abused do end up with eating disorders. However, it's not at all accurate to say the converse - that most girls who have an eating disorder have also been sexually abused. It's much, much broader. Control is the key link among the girls and what causes that need for control varies greatly.

  8. #98
    Gold Member LouLaLa's Avatar
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    You cant really make generalizations with these things.
    I used to have (well psychologially always will) anorexia and I wasnt abused. I just felt like I had no control and had to keep achiving and it got out of control. One day I thought, ill loose a little weight and when im "perfect" itll be better.

    I lost a few and it wasnt enough and it was literally as simple as that and on and on it went till ironically I was totally out of control. Im not sure even know I could say why I did it, or how I reached the conclusion that loosing some weight was the answer but it happened. I remember living of 8 breadsticks a week and being in tears that I was eating too much. Thankfully I did get better, it took a very very long time but I got there.

    Its not something I think you choose to do to yourself, its just something that happens for god knows how many factors dependant on the person involved. One thing I know I hated was people making assumptions about it, trying to feed me, assuming I was a victim of something, had a bad background, had evil parents (theyre lovely and amazing) or wanted to be thin/get attention.

    I think Amber and Shiver made some good points here. I did feel trapped in a bit of an achivement loop and I still felt I was never enough.

    I dont really want to get into a debate about it because as I said ive been sick myself, but I thought as someone whose been there I may be able to explain what went though my head when I was suffering with it as it may shed a tiny bit of light on it.

    I dont think it is rational and of all the people I know who have had it the best thing to do is try not be pushy or questioning as they get afraid youre trying to take away their control [one girl I know just starved herself even more whenever anything about it was mentioned as it was the attention etc she was fighting against].

    If anyone does have problems, try get help when you feel ready yourself.

  9. #99
    Elite Member MoodyJenny86's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LouLaLa View Post
    You cant really make generalizations with these things.
    I used to have (well psychologially always will) anorexia and I wasnt abused. I just felt like I had no control and had to keep achiving and it got out of control. One day I thought, ill loose a little weight and when im "perfect" itll be better.

    I lost a few and it wasnt enough and it was literally as simple as that and on and on it went till ironically I was totally out of control. Im not sure even know I could say why I did it, or how I reached the conclusion that loosing some weight was the answer but it happened. I remember living of 8 breadsticks a week and being in tears that I was eating too much. Thankfully I did get better, it took a very very long time but I got there.

    Its not something I think you choose to do to yourself, its just something that happens for god knows how many factors dependant on the person involved. One thing I know I hated was people making assumptions about it, trying to feed me, assuming I was a victim of something, had a bad background, had evil parents (theyre lovely and amazing) or wanted to be thin/get attention.

    I think Amber and Shiver made some good points here. I did feel trapped in a bit of an achivement loop and I still felt I was never enough.

    I dont really want to get into a debate about it because as I said ive been sick myself, but I thought as someone whose been there I may be able to explain what went though my head when I was suffering with it as it may shed a tiny bit of light on it.

    I dont think it is rational and of all the people I know who have had it the best thing to do is try not be pushy or questioning as they get afraid youre trying to take away their control [one girl I know just starved herself even more whenever anything about it was mentioned as it was the attention etc she was fighting against].

    If anyone does have problems, try get help when you feel ready yourself.
    ^I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I as well was anorexic and bulimic for years. I was never abused either, I believe mine developed as a result of- as you explained- feeling like I had no control in my life and at the time I was 15...a teenage girl who already felt insecure, had raging hormones, was a perfectionist, etc. It didn't help that I was teased and somewhat of an outcast in high school. My case was pretty much "text book" I started off by going on a little diet (even though I wasn't even very big to begin with...maybe a good 5-10 lbs overweight) and it just went from there and got out of control very quickly.

    I struggled for years with the anorexia, bulimia and yo-yo unhealthy dieting...and as you stated, an eating disorder (whether or not you are engaging in the unhealthy behaviors) is always with you. I still have the same voice pop up in my head 9 years after I first went down that hellish road! And I still have an ED related thought at least once a day...even if it's as simple as "Well...if I ate this then I won't eat for awhile," or "You know how easily you could get *rid* of that if you really wanted to."

    I mean, it is quite scary sometimes because although I'm not at the moment engaging in any unhealthy ED related behaviors I know how quickly I can fall back into the old routine. When I became anorexic at 15 that lasted until about 17 and then I just piled on a TON of weight and actually became quite overweight...then a few years later I became anorexic again along with bulimia and lost all of the added weight and then some and as of right now I'm not where I'd like to be weight wise but am looking into some support from friends and my boyfriend to diet with me so I don't go overboard.

    I'm a little ashamed/embarrassed to admit this but I've never lost weight by sticking to a healthy combo of diet & exercise, it has always been through ED behaviors. I think part of this may have to do with the fact that I was never professionally treated the first time around. At the time of my illness as a teenager my family was in major denial and never really addressed the issue- it was moreso just swept under the rug...

    Eating disorders are a hard thing to have to deal with and I wouldn't wish one upon anybody. Anyone here who has suffered stay strong and remember you are not alone!

    The brain doesn't need blood. It just needs to be kept wet.

  10. #100
    Elite Member burnt_toast's Avatar
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    Moody and Lou, you both brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine the struggles you both deal with on a regular basis and I hope you both can stay healthy and happy!

  11. #101
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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  12. #102
    Gold Member karat's Avatar
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    ^Jesus she still looks like shit! I went to college with her and she's the exact same size now =(

  13. #103
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    she's the only famous person skinnier than rachel zoe.
    can't post pics because my computer's broken and i'm stupid

  14. #104
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    Wow, that is really sad. She looks like she is definitely going to die before her time.

  15. #105
    Elite Member Serendipity's Avatar
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    How is she still alive?
    It's like you ate too much crazy then puked it all over a post and hit submit - Nancydrew

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