"Real" women

[dragonlady]

Okay this has been bothering me for awhile...

We're all tired of seeing the anorexic, fake bake look that seems prevalent nowadays, as well as the abundance of surgically altered female celebrities. I often hear people say that they prefer "real" women, like Kelly Brook, Monica Bellucci, Scarlet Johanson, and the old school chicks like Raquel Welch and Sophia Loren (back when bodies were real, they say).

But aren't those women just as abnormal? They have flat stomachs, big boobs, medium-sized thighs, etc... I hear people saying things like "hey see those ladies actually eat every now and then," but isn't the reality that most women can have the same eating habits as these ideal women but will put fat on in different places? I.E. non-celebrity women who have normal eating habits may find that their food goes to their thighs, yet they are just naturally flat chested or something like that. If a good appetite was enough, then by that logic, wouldn't more women look like Raquel and Scarlett? I don't know ONE person who really looks like Raquel Welch or Kelly Brook. To me these chicks just look like slim (not anorexic, but still thinner than average women) who have big boobs, which is not a common combination.

I don't know...I'm kind of ranting a bit, but just like anorexic girls are trying to fit an unhealthy image, there are some chicks who are gonna hear the praises of these "real" women and then get depressed when they can't be voluptuous with a tiny waist. And then naturally thinner women who aren't as shapely will resort to implants (butt and breast) because they don't fit this ideal image.

Is there possibly some middle ground we can find where naturally thin and larger women can be considered real, and where people don't hold up very uncommon body types as "real women"?

[Algernon]

God I hear you. I am so fucking sick of it.

Even when I am at my best (like when I was in high school and wore a 7 and was sooooo in shape) I was not what society would call 'ideal'. I have no waist or butt, and even though I have small boobs I am top heavy with big shoulders and arms.

I have more curves now but I will never be 'ideal'. Fuck em all, I don't care anymore! I am soooo tired of hearing about hot bodies and the lucky women who have them. And you are right, they praise these tiny women like Scarlett saying 'she actually eats'. Ummmmm, yeah okay but she is still a size 2.

I really have given up on feeling like shit because I don't fit some mold. All I can do is work with what I've got.

[dragonlady]

Algernon I think you've got the right idea. It's like on one side of me I've got some chick puking up food because thin is in, and on the other side there's some other chick who's shaped liked Kelly Clarkson and has a normal appetite but hates herself because she's still flat chested, even though "eating" is supposedly the magic solution for getting a perfect hourglass shape.

According to the current standards, most normal women can't win, whether they eat or starve. So yeah, just screw it.

I'm glad that you feel better now about your body That must have been hard to come to that point.

[Tati]

You two are damn, damn right! Holding any single body type up as the ideal is only going to impact upon women's self-image, no matter what that type happens to be.

I frankly even get irked with some of the bashing of the thin women as well - because honestly, some women are naturally thin, and not everyone looks better "with a little meat on her bones". I'm not going to automatically assume that Salma Hayek is healthier or more of a "real woman" than say, Gwyneth Paltrow just because she has curves while Gwyneth is willowy. I find a lot of slim women attractive (not those who forced themselves into that state and look horrid as a result - but just "willowy" types), and a lot of bigger women attractive as well. And, like you two mentioned, whether smaller or bigger, not all women are curvy with an hourglass shape, and they can be just as attractive. Beauty comes in many, many forms - the hourglass, the waif look, the less-curvy athletic look, bigger on the bottom, bigger on the top - it can all look beautiful in my opinion.

[Nerissa]

I know, I have been thinking of it awhile. You see it especially in boys-magazine where the girls is supposed to have a curvy body because "that is what men prefer", but the only curvy thing you see is FAKE boobs. Where is their "natural" curvy figure?? Their body fat % is still less then 10...

[DitaPage*]

AMEN!
I hate all these body type images. I am naturally thin and while people like Scarlett Johansson go on about how they will never be tiny, they still have these nice 'womanly' curves and breasts that I'd like to have but cant with my body unless I go have surgery which I have considered because the whole 'real women have big breasts' crap has been nailed into my brain.

So while women complain that they aren't super slender, and they have these eating disorders, I am insecure because I dont feel like I have a 'womans' body. Thats why I love kate hudson, she flaunts what she has. I have the same body basically as kate and seeing her in bikinis and looking fantastic has made me feel less bad about not having these gigantic breasts that people like Scarlett Johansson walk around with and say 'ooh i love my girls [as Scarlett calls her breasts], i'm a real woman, blah blah'. Not all women have curves, so its just as insensitive to say that its the ideal body. One thing about skinny, is if you starve yourself long enough, most women can get there, but you cant grow curves if your body is not formed to have them. I've tried to gain weight to grow more in the breast department but the weight went to my hips, so unless I have surgery, I'm never going to have scarlett johansson breasts, and thanks scarlett for making us small breasted women feel so great about ourselves Although I'm sure I wont envy her for her breasts when she's about 50 and they're down near her knees.

I'm tired of it. There is no ideal body shape. There is no perfect body, and wouldn't alot of women be fucked if there was no breast implants, or tummy tucks. And yes, most of these 'womanly' stars have had breast enlargements.

[shaki80]

A real woman is whatever you see in the mirror. Are there certain ideals for beauty in the society? Sure, some people think it's the classic hourglass figure, others think it's the supermodel type body. I don't think the presence of these standards of beauty is as much of a problem as the general need of conformity and being constantly unsatisfied with what you naturally have. A lot of woman sadly do everything but mutate to get the perfect nose, the perfect teeth ,the perfect lips, the perfect body..etc. though I've never got the memo about how we all have to be perfect or "ideal". Some people are considered more beautiful than others (body or face), some people are smarter and others are funnier. Everyone's got an advantage over somebody and everybody wants what they can't have. Like somebody mentioned, you just need to work with what you've got other than that just take care of yourself and keep yourself at a healthy weight.Even if there is a perfect body, everybody just needs to relax, who says we all have to be perfect? Life would be pretty boring if every one was "perfect". I'm short and curvy and I've always wanted to be 5'10 and skinny with no hips like models, so that I don't have to work out 5-6 days a week and always watch what I eat but the fact that I'm pretty sure that I have more grey matter than most of them and that I have a 90% chance of having a more meaningful career keeps me happy because you just can't have everything.

I'm sorry but I noticed this

I'm never going to have scarlett johansson breasts, and thanks scarlett for making us small breasted women feel so great about ourselves Although I'm sure I wont envy her for her breasts when she's about 50 and they're down near her knees.

You complain about scarlett making small breasted women feel bad then you make fun of her for having big breasts because they'll sag. Maybe I misunderstood but that comes off as being contradictory.
And FYI, gravity even gets to the smallest breasts .

[NawdleZouss]

I love this thread.

[coolios5o]

I have a curvy body and it has just as many "disadvantages" as any other body type. I was going to actually write down a huge list but then...I just couldn't be bothered to. Basically about breasts, which seem to be the main subject in this topic, I have 3 brothers and a lot of male friends and they have all said that big breasts aren't anyhow a nessecity in a girl, just a plus. It's just about confidence, how you carry yourself. That's the guy opinion.

[glamazon]

In my household, real women have big butts.

and aren't skinny or obese, just right for their shape. And that's all you need. I don't have big boobs, or slender thighs, and while I would like to lose weight to stay healthy, I don't think of it as I'm not the ideal....someone's gonna like my look...right?!

[dragonlady]

In my household, real women have big butts.

Yeah, I know a lot of people (some of my cousins included) who feel that way, the bigger the better. I don't know what you're background is, but I suspect that this preference is a cultural thing.

But good point, because I've heard that some chicks in Jamaica take chicken pills to gain weight. And I went to school with a lot of people from the islands and you better believe that the thicker chicks were running things. They even have a derogatory word for skinny people, "maga", I think.
So while at one extreme some chicks are trying to look like Kate Moss, on the other hand these chicks are taking pills meant for animals so they can look like Buffie the Body. If you want to change your body or a certain body part, that's one thing. But 1) taking it to unhealthy measures definitely signifies a problem, and 2) don't do it to try to like like a "real woman."

[glamazon]

once I turned 30, I became a real woman. The End.

That meant living like a woman, not a child, and acting correctly. It also meant dressing with some amount of class, and trying to be healthier. It's a good feeling, I bet you.

[KandyKorn]

once I turned 30, I became a real woman. The End.

That meant living like a woman, not a child, and acting correctly. It also meant dressing with some amount of class, and trying to be healthier. It's a good feeling, I bet you.

Same thing happened here! I look back on my 20's and while they were a lot of fun, I sure wasn't the confident, motivated woman that I am today. Sure, I had a hot body back then(and should have appreciated it while I had it) but I'm a much happier and secure person as I've aged, no matter if I have to wear my 'fat' pants that day or not!

[sherbear905]

This is an interesting, healthy discussion, kudos for bringing it up!

As a lifetime member of the curvy girl club, I always find it interesting that many naturally thin women that I know, would love to have bigger breasts and hips, and we curvies would like to be a little less endowed.

A real woman is what she is naturally, curly hair or straight, curvy body or thin. It's just a shame that the "thin is in" thing went on so long, that a "real woman" is now considered the curvy type. Advertising did this, because clothes "hang" better on thin bodies. I love to see a woman confident in the skin she's in, she can be sexy at any size.

p/s~ I can rock a tight sweater like there's no tomorrow!!

[SuperHeroTights]

I have a natural hourglass shape and I can still find a million things I'd change. it's all about being proud of what you have and focusing on what you like instead of what you don't. I like my small waist and long torso. I focus on those