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Thread: Joe the Fake Plumber: One small slap for America

  1. #1
    Elite Member NicoleWasHere's Avatar
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    Jun 2007

    Default Joe the Fake Plumber: One small slap for America

    Joe the Plumber: One Small Slap for America

    America, Joe the Plumber has a message for you: Get off your “Lazy Boys and couches” and hold politicians accountable. And get back to work.

    I joined a group of journalists lunching with Samuel J. Wurzelbacher – who, as anyone not living under a rock last fall knows, catapulted to instant fame by coaxing Barack Obama into the semi-socialist declaration that he wanted to “share the wealth” as president.

    The erstwhile leak-plugger was in Washington to plug his book Fighting for the American Dream. And I’d say I found him in a fighting mood.

    You want straight talk? Joe speaks softly, but his words make John McCain, who made him an insta-celebrity, sound like Elmer Gantry.

    For a man made a household name by politics, Joe doesn’t think much of politicians. “Anymore these guys are rock stars,” complains Joe, who has met a few in the course of his current gig reporting for web-based Pajamas TV. He decries legislators’ devotion to sound bites and interviews when they are paid to offer solutions. “Honest to God, I don’t think they’ve worked hard a day in their life since they’ve been on the Hill.”


    How does he see the new president, whom he credits in his book for being “gracious” when Joe put him on the spot? “He’s a politician and I know he’s lying.”


    Well, then, how about the GOP? “I don’t see Republicans doing much of anything right now,” complains Joe, pointing out that, equally stymied by special interests and opinion surveys, they largely stood passive in the face of bailouts and stimulus packages. “When I don’t make enough money to pay my bills, I cut things. Not once did I hear a Republican talk about cutting things.”


    Our plumber must at least like Commander Mac, whom he endorsed in the last campaign. Not so fast. The climax of Fighting – which is equal parts personal experiences, exposition of his common-sense philosophy and exposť of the Kafkaesque fate that befell him, his family and his employer after he fired the bon mot heard ‘round the world – is his confrontation with the candidate. In our interview, Joe was still fuming over the one-time warrior’s support for the bank bailout package, and his revelation that earmarks “coerced” fellow lawmakers into supporting the giveaway. “His actions were the opposite of what he said.”


    Not that Joe holds many of his fellow citizens in the highest regard, either: “I want people to be responsible for their own actions, get off the government tit, and actually work. They don’t work, they don’t survive, then they die. I’m sorry, life’s not fair. I’m sick and tired of people whining and crying about it.”

    Gee, Joe, tell us what you really think.

    But what JTP is especially hankering for – besides the chance to get back to working with his hands – is for citizens to get back involved in their government. “I’m hoping to stir up enough Americans to get some action . . . to make their country great again.” Especially on tax reform, the subject of a grassroots project he’ll launch later this month.

    As for politicians? “I’m just looking for a leader . . . we need someone that stands up and doesn’t worry about opinion polls.”

    Would Joe answer his own call to action by running for office?

    He hasn’t ruled it out. “But in all honesty, I would probably be in jail more often than I would be on the Hill – for slapping some senator or congressman.”

    Now that’s what I would call action. How do I start a draft?

    North Star Writers Group - Syndicated Commentary: Opinion, Humor and Features

    Stupid fucker. What divine justice it would be, to have someone shove a pipe in his ass, or crack him over the head with it.

  2. #2
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    In WhoreLand fucking your MOM


    Pay your taxes joe, then get a plumbers license so you aren't operating illegally.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

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