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Thread: The Barack Market

  1. #1
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Feb 2007

    Talking The Barack Market

    The Barack Market

    It started even before he was elected: Barack Obama kitsch, spilling into the stores and streets of D.C. Since November 4, it’s gotten worse. Much worse. Obama shirts, caps, blankets, dolls, jewelry--you name it, and someone’s cheaply produced it. So I wandered Washington over the past few weeks, snapping shots of the most bizarre, tawdry, amusing, and offensive items I could find. With this first window display alone, an Obamaniac could drink a Budweiser, shoot tequila, drink coffee during the inevitable hangover, play 18 holes, decorate a dorm room, and put a one-million-dollar down payment on a new, fake home. The rest of this slideshow is just a taste of what the city’s vendors have to offer as the most hyped inauguration ever rapidly approaches

    Not Creepy At All, Part I
    At one of the many inaugural souvenir stores popping up in DC--this one is right next to the White House--tourists can pose with a cardboard PEOTUS in a fake Oval Office

    Presidente Caliente
    Courtesy of Dave's Gourmet in San Francisco, Barack Obama's hot sauce is available at a Pennsylvania Avenue joint

    For the Rip Taylor in You
    At a souvenir store across from Ford's Theater downtown, risk-takers (or just those with terrible fashion sense) can purchase a flourescent pink Obama tie

    And on the Seventh Day...
    At Pulp, a funky boutique gift store on 14th Street, St. Obama candles--it seems he's depicted as St. Francis of Assisi--are going fast. "As we were putting them out, one woman said, 'Oh my gosh, I have to have one,'" a sales clerk recalled.

    Awash in Hope
    One of Pulp's biggest sellers is a certain hygenic item dubbed--wait for it--The Audacity of Soap. "Lots of people have been buying them to leave for guests who are staying in their houses and apartments for the inauguration," says Raven, a Pulp sales clerk.

    "Say 'Insufficient Stimulus Package' For Me"
    Another popular item is the Obama finger puppet, which doubles as a magnet, pictured here on sales clerk Megan's hand

    Not Creepy At All, Part II
    Obama Girl might like this item. At an Adams Morgan souvenir shop, stuffed Obama dolls are available with several t-shirt options. This one allows you to "Sleep with Obama." (Eek.)

    Most Icky Item Award
    If you cringe just looking at this Obama sex toy--no batteries required, in case you care to know--check out the website for more nausea-inducing information. The dildo, which stands at 7.5 inches tall and 2 inches wide, is sold under the slogans, “I want a Big O!” and “Make this an erection election to remember.” It’s also waterproof.

    Worst Coat Ornament
    We understand what Abe and Barack might have to do with “A New Birth Of Freedom.” But what the hell is up with the dog?
    (Courtesy of

    Queerest Confection
    On a related note: It is pretty cool how they get pictures onto food these days.
    (Courtesy of

    Worst Timepiece Award
    Fasten this watch around your wrist and you'll be instantly transported to the Land of “Barack ‘N’ Roll,” where you have no friends and exquisitely bad taste.
    (Courtesy of

    Doll That Most Makes Obama Look Like C-3P0
    Only 3,000 of these Obama “Action Figure We Can Believe In” dolls, produced by Jailbreak Toys, have been made, so you’ll have to move fast if you want one. Also, his index finger seems to be disproportionately long, good for tickling.
    (Courtesy of

    Most Absurd Pet Product
    Maybe in Barack’s America, dogs won’t be able to register shame.
    (Courtesy of

    Paper Tiger
    Another questionable curio, this book of Obama paper dolls shows a svelte PEOTUS in swim trunks on his Hawaii vacation. There are Michelle, Malia, and Sasha cut-outs too, though (thankfully) those are a little more discreet.

    More, More, More
    There are plenty of other sites to hit for more Obama-phernalia. Here are some of the big ones: (This rulebook gives instructions about how to find Obama collectibles. The best: “Tip #4: Find a reasonably priced Obama piece and just BUY IT!” And: “Tip #10: No matter what Obama collectible you buy, remember that you will want to take good care of it.”)
    (Courtesy of

    The New Republic | Photo Gallery
    Last edited by witchcurlgirl; January 14th, 2009 at 11:09 PM.

    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

  2. #2
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    In WhoreLand fucking your MOM



    holy fucking shit!

    that's seriously hilarious
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Glitter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Down the rabbit hole.


    I seriously want the soap.
    Life is what happens to you
    While you're busy making other plans ~ John Lennon

  4. #4
    Elite Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005


    That is hilarious. Who thinks up this stuff?

  5. #5
    Elite Member NicoleWasHere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007


    Where's the Biden butt plug?

  6. #6
    Elite Member cmmdee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Eva's Love Den


    These are hilarious. I really liked the Presidente Caliente sauce.
    And the Audacity of Soap soap. Haha.

    I have to admit. I am a proud owner of a Barack Obama sweatshirt.

  7. #7
    Elite Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008


    Most Icky Item Award
    If you cringe just looking at this Obama sex toy--no batteries required, in case you care to know--check out the website for more nausea-inducing information. The dildo, which stands at 7.5 inches tall and 2 inches wide, is sold under the slogans, “I want a Big O!” and “Make this an erection election to remember.” It’s also waterproof.

    7.5 inches? Boo to that. That's not nearly big enough!

    *Valley Doll, still dreaming of that 10 inch or bigger human pipe*

  8. #8
    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    10 miles from Pootie Tang


    The sad part is a LOT of people will run out and buy this crap. The only Obama item I have is a 2009 one-sheet calender that my cousin's wife was handing out over the holidays.

  9. #9
    Elite Member panda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Hotlanta, GA


    I want some of this stuff, I admit it.

    Petunia Pearl

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