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Thread: The Barack Market

  1. #1
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Talking The Barack Market

    The Barack Market

    It started even before he was elected: Barack Obama kitsch, spilling into the stores and streets of D.C. Since November 4, it’s gotten worse. Much worse. Obama shirts, caps, blankets, dolls, jewelry--you name it, and someone’s cheaply produced it. So I wandered Washington over the past few weeks, snapping shots of the most bizarre, tawdry, amusing, and offensive items I could find. With this first window display alone, an Obamaniac could drink a Budweiser, shoot tequila, drink coffee during the inevitable hangover, play 18 holes, decorate a dorm room, and put a one-million-dollar down payment on a new, fake home. The rest of this slideshow is just a taste of what the city’s vendors have to offer as the most hyped inauguration ever rapidly approaches




    Not Creepy At All, Part I
    At one of the many inaugural souvenir stores popping up in DC--this one is right next to the White House--tourists can pose with a cardboard PEOTUS in a fake Oval Office






    Presidente Caliente
    Courtesy of Dave's Gourmet in San Francisco, Barack Obama's hot sauce is available at a Pennsylvania Avenue joint






    For the Rip Taylor in You
    At a souvenir store across from Ford's Theater downtown, risk-takers (or just those with terrible fashion sense) can purchase a flourescent pink Obama tie





    And on the Seventh Day...
    At Pulp, a funky boutique gift store on 14th Street, St. Obama candles--it seems he's depicted as St. Francis of Assisi--are going fast. "As we were putting them out, one woman said, 'Oh my gosh, I have to have one,'" a sales clerk recalled.





    Awash in Hope
    One of Pulp's biggest sellers is a certain hygenic item dubbed--wait for it--The Audacity of Soap. "Lots of people have been buying them to leave for guests who are staying in their houses and apartments for the inauguration," says Raven, a Pulp sales clerk.




    "Say 'Insufficient Stimulus Package' For Me"
    Another popular item is the Obama finger puppet, which doubles as a magnet, pictured here on sales clerk Megan's hand




    Not Creepy At All, Part II
    Obama Girl might like this item. At an Adams Morgan souvenir shop, stuffed Obama dolls are available with several t-shirt options. This one allows you to "Sleep with Obama." (Eek.)






    Most Icky Item Award
    If you cringe just looking at this Obama sex toy--no batteries required, in case you care to know--check out the website for more nausea-inducing information. The dildo, which stands at 7.5 inches tall and 2 inches wide, is sold under the slogans, “I want a Big O!” and “Make this an erection election to remember.” It’s also waterproof.






    Worst Coat Ornament
    We understand what Abe and Barack might have to do with “A New Birth Of Freedom.” But what the hell is up with the dog?
    (Courtesy of zazzle.com)





    Queerest Confection
    On a related note: It is pretty cool how they get pictures onto food these days.
    (Courtesy of tastyprints.com)






    Worst Timepiece Award
    Fasten this watch around your wrist and you'll be instantly transported to the Land of “Barack ‘N’ Roll,” where you have no friends and exquisitely bad taste.
    (Courtesy of obamawatches.com)




    Doll That Most Makes Obama Look Like C-3P0
    Only 3,000 of these Obama “Action Figure We Can Believe In” dolls, produced by Jailbreak Toys, have been made, so you’ll have to move fast if you want one. Also, his index finger seems to be disproportionately long, good for tickling.
    (Courtesy of jailbreaktoys.com)




    Most Absurd Pet Product
    Maybe in Barack’s America, dogs won’t be able to register shame.
    (Courtesy of politicalshop.com)





    Paper Tiger
    Another questionable curio, this book of Obama paper dolls shows a svelte PEOTUS in swim trunks on his Hawaii vacation. There are Michelle, Malia, and Sasha cut-outs too, though (thankfully) those are a little more discreet.




    More, More, More
    There are plenty of other sites to hit for more Obama-phernalia. Here are some of the big ones:
    http://www.superobama.com/
    http://www.obamawatches.com/servlet/StoreFront

    https://www.obamacoins.tv/flare/next
    http://myobamacollectibles.com/

    http://www.obamacollectorsguide.com/ (This rulebook gives instructions about how to find Obama collectibles. The best: “Tip #4: Find a reasonably priced Obama piece and just BUY IT!” And: “Tip #10: No matter what Obama collectible you buy, remember that you will want to take good care of it.”)
    (Courtesy of politicalshop.com)


    The New Republic | Photo Gallery
    Last edited by witchcurlgirl; January 14th, 2009 at 11:09 PM.
    It's no longer a dog whistle, it's a fucking trombone


    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

  2. #2
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    ROPFLMAO

    holy fucking shit!

    that's seriously hilarious
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Glitter's Avatar
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    I seriously want the soap.
    Life is what happens to you
    While you're busy making other plans ~ John Lennon

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    That is hilarious. Who thinks up this stuff?

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    Elite Member NicoleWasHere's Avatar
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    Where's the Biden butt plug?

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    Elite Member cmmdee's Avatar
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    These are hilarious. I really liked the Presidente Caliente sauce.
    And the Audacity of Soap soap. Haha.

    I have to admit. I am a proud owner of a Barack Obama sweatshirt.

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    Most Icky Item Award
    If you cringe just looking at this Obama sex toy--no batteries required, in case you care to know--check out the website for more nausea-inducing information. The dildo, which stands at 7.5 inches tall and 2 inches wide, is sold under the slogans, “I want a Big O!” and “Make this an erection election to remember.” It’s also waterproof.


    7.5 inches? Boo to that. That's not nearly big enough!

    *Valley Doll, still dreaming of that 10 inch or bigger human pipe*

  8. #8
    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
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    The sad part is a LOT of people will run out and buy this crap. The only Obama item I have is a 2009 one-sheet calender that my cousin's wife was handing out over the holidays.

  9. #9
    Elite Member panda's Avatar
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    I want some of this stuff, I admit it.

    Petunia Pearl

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