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Thread: A little reminder of red vs. blue states

  1. #1
    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Default A little reminder of red vs. blue states

    This is slightly outdated but still worth a look since 90% of it is still spot on....



    Dear Red States...

    We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
    we're taking the other Blue States with us.

    In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington,
    Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
    believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
    to the people of the new country of New California.

    To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
    We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot
    Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

    We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
    We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
    We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
    We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
    get Alabama.
    We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
    pay their fair share.

    Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
    Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
    bunch of single moms.

    Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
    anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
    once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
    kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
    purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
    children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
    hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our
    resources in Bush's Quagmire.

    With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
    of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
    and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
    America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
    90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most
    of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
    condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,
    Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

    With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
    percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
    costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
    tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
    Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
    Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

    We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

    Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
    actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
    unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
    that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved
    in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people
    with higher morals then we lefties.

    By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
    weed they grow in Mexico.

    Peace out,
    Blue Stateshttp://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/80714812.html
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
    --Sinclair Lewis

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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Isn't it always great how the fundies love guns and death? I would never go near a gun and don't believe in the death penalty and don't believe in organized religion. Call me crazy but I think life is too short for that bullshit. I prefer to focus my energies on things that matter...
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
    --Sinclair Lewis

  3. #3
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    Wow that's really interesting! Sometimes I see people post online that they are definitely voting for McCain and I wonder how they could possibly? It scares me a little that perhaps the numbers of people in these states could actually win the election for crazy old man and his pit bull in lipstick. Because no one I know around here supports him.

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    I'm curious as to what kind of people support John McCain. I know some regular nice people who are voting for him. Not all of McCain's supporters are racist, backwards, or fundamentalist, so I wonder what the appeal is for these seemingly intelligent folks who vote for him?

    The only thing I can figure is that they believe McCain's years of experience have given him the connections and influence to get things done while they think no one will listen to Obama because he's too green. Either that or they really truly believe in trickle-down economics.

    But it seems most people I ask why they are voting for McCain say it's because Obama is a "socialist" or a "terrorist sympathizer" so they have bought into the Repug rhetoric hook, line, and sinker. I don't want to ask my Repug friends because I don't want to get into it and possibly damage our relationship.

    So what do you guys think?

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    The one person I do know who is voting for him here, now that I think about it, is a born again Christian and she's "worried" about Obama, she doesn't trust him because of the things you say.

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    Gold Member ymeman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by buttmunch View Post
    Isn't it always great how the fundies love guns and death? I would never go near a gun and don't believe in the death penalty and don't believe in organized religion. Call me crazy but I think life is too short for that bullshit. I prefer to focus my energies on things that matter...

    It's been an S&M death cult since day one. Goths have nothing on them, fundies are the real item.

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    Elite Member nwgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hotncmom View Post
    I'm curious as to what kind of people support John McCain. I know some regular nice people who are voting for him. Not all of McCain's supporters are racist, backwards, or fundamentalist, so I wonder what the appeal is for these seemingly intelligent folks who vote for him?
    I just met with a new client yesterday and the topic turned to politics. During my initial interactions with her I thought her to be a normal, nice, intelligent woman, until, during the course of our conversation yesterday, she made the following statements:

    I think Obama is a Muslim and the US is founded on Christian beliefs and I think he's going to come in and try to make changes to go along with his Muslim beliefs

    Obama scares me because he never seems to get irritated and I think he just speaks too well, he's too smooth

    I don't think Obama will keep us safe

    No matter who gets elected, they're our president and I think that means we should support them 100% and not bad mouth them

    Palin is one of the most intelligent women I've ever heard about

    I had an abortion and I now know they're wrong so I believe they should be illegal because it's murder

    Just cause you're a liberal doesn't mean we can't be friends (like I'm the fucking one to be pitied or tolerated?)

    Fox News is more balanced than CNN

    I don't agree that gays should be subject to harassment or violence, but I just don't think I should be exposed to their lifestyle and I don't want my kids to be exposed because the Bible says it's wrong

    It was all I could do not to punch her in the face. I came home and cried. Seriously. And I am not exaggerating AT ALL when I relate what she said. I honestly was looking around for cameras. It's like my worst nightmare come true.
    "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."

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    Elite Member Shinola's Avatar
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    ^^ nwgirl, I am sorry this upset you so much.

    I can relate. In the last couple of months, a bunch of people I went to high school with in the Deep South found me on facebook. It has been a major bummer--sickening, really. I don't dislike them all, but their views are awful.

    So who are these McCain supporters? In this case they are working- and middle-class Christians with average intelligence and average education and very little experience of the wider world. They also are probably on some level deeply threatened by black people, even if they don't know it. They may be friends with blacks as individuals, but many of them fear blacks having social equality collectively. Their fear of change, of Obama, and of any movement toward social democracy is ultimately about race.

    They are conformist and not all that sincere. They are uncomfortable with introspection and cognitive dissonance. And there are a heck of a lot of them. I grew up among them, and they are mostly scary.
    Posted from my fucking iPhone

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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    This has already been posted and I think it's really stupid. Why don't we get rid of the electoral college and we wouldn't have red & blue states. Did yall know that as soon as I leave the Texas border my IQ goes up like 10 points? That's fucking ridiculous.
    KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GOD DAMNED HONEY!!!!!!!!!!

    Come on, let's have lots of drinks.

    Fuck you all, I'm going viral.

  10. #10
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by buttmunch View Post
    Isn't it always great how the fundies love guns and death? I would never go near a gun and don't believe in the death penalty and don't believe in organized religion. Call me crazy but I think life is too short for that bullshit. I prefer to focus my energies on things that matter...
    There's a well known Mississippi Republican who's running for a congressional seat and among other things, his TV and newspaper ads literally state....no, brag: "Bubba Sheepfucker (not his real name, of course) is PRO-GUN and PRO-LIFE". This is a completely serious commercial, not a lark. It cracks my husband and I up every time we see it.
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