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Thread: It's official -- EVERY man is a sexual predator until proven otherwise

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    Hit By Ban Bus! pacific breeze's Avatar
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    Default It's official -- EVERY man is a sexual predator until proven otherwise

    Moving On - WSJ.com
    Avoiding Kids: How Men Cope
    With Being Cast as Predators
    September 6, 2007; Page D1

    These days, if Rian Romoli accidentally bumps into a child, he quickly raises his hands above his shoulders. "I don't want to give even the slightest indication that any inadvertent touching occurred," says Mr. Romoli, an economist in La Cañada Flintridge, Calif.

    Ted Wallis, a doctor in Austin, Texas, recently came upon a lost child in tears in a mall. His first instinct was to help, but he feared people might consider him a predator. He walked away. "Being male," he explains, "I am guilty until proven innocent."

    In San Diego, retiree Ralph Castro says he won't allow himself to be alone with a child -- even in an elevator.

    Last month, I wrote about how our culture teaches children to fear men. Hundreds of men responded, many lamenting that they've now become fearful of children. They said they avert their eyes when kids are around, or think twice before holding even their own children's hands in public.

    Frank McEnulty, a builder in Long Beach, Calif., was once a Boy Scout scoutmaster. "Today, I wouldn't do that job for anything," he says. "All it takes is for one kid to get ticked off at you for something and tell his parents you were acting weird on the campout."

    It's true that men are far more likely than women to be sexual predators. But our society, while declining to profile by race or nationality when it comes to crime and terrorism, has become nonchalant about profiling men. Child advocates are advising parents never to hire male babysitters. Airlines are placing unaccompanied minors with female passengers.

    Child-welfare groups say these precautions minimize risks. But men's rights activists argue that our societal focus on "bad guys" has led to an overconfidence in women. (Children who die of physical abuse are more often victims of female perpetrators, usually mothers, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.)

    Though groups that cater to the young are working harder to identify predators, they also ask that risks be kept in perspective. Big Brothers Big Sisters of America does criminal background checks on each of its 250,000 volunteers, and has social workers assess them. Since 1990, the group says, it has had fewer than 10 abuse allegations per year. More than 98% of the alleged abusers were male.

    "If we wanted to make sure we never had a problem, one approach would be to just become Big Sisters -- to say we won't serve boys," says Mack Koonce, the group's chief operating officer. But, of course, that would deny hundreds of thousands of boys contact with male mentors.

    The Boy Scouts of America now has elaborate rules to prevent both abuse and false accusations. There are 1.2 million Scout leaders, and the organization kicks out about 175 of them a year over abuse allegations or for violating policies.

    These policies can be intricate. For instance, four adult leaders are needed for each outing. If a sick child must go home, two adults drive him and two stay with the others, so no adult is ever alone with a Scout. "It's protection for the adults, as well as the children," says a Scouts spokesman.

    The result of all this hyper-carefulness, however, is that men often feel like untouchables. In Cochranville, Pa., Ray Simpson, a bus driver, says that he used to have 30 kids stop at his house on Halloween. But after his divorce, with people knowing he was a man living alone, he had zero visitors. "I felt like crying at the end of the evening," he says.

    At Houston Intercontinental Airport, businessman Mitch Reifel was having a meal with his 5-year-old daughter when a policeman showed up to question him. A passerby had reported his interactions with the child seemed "suspicious."

    In Skokie, Ill., Steve Frederick says the director of his son's day-care center called him in to reprimand him for "inappropriately touching the children." "I was shocked," he says. "Whatever did she mean?" She was referring to him reading stories with his son and other kids on his lap. A parent had panicked when her child mentioned sitting on a man's lap.

    "Good parenting and good education demand that we let children take risks," says Mr. Frederick, a career coach. "We install playground equipment, putting them at risk of falls and broken bones. Why? We want them to challenge themselves and develop muscles and confidence.

    "Likewise, while we don't want sexual predators to harm our kids, we do want our kids to develop healthy relationships with adults, both men and women. Instilling a fear of men is a profound disservice to everyone."

  2. #2
    Elite Member Soth's Avatar
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    This explains how emos are made

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    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Wow, sad article PB

    Seems a man can't even smile at a kid without being labelled a paedophile! No wonder the scout leaders do that.
    Last edited by Honey; September 9th, 2007 at 12:23 AM.

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    Elite Member Soth's Avatar
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    just to illustrate my point, without a firm guiding male role model archetype the males of this world are in danger of going against an evolutionary station that has served well in different forms for thousands of years. This is a sad and true indictment of PC/ over protective behaviour and litigious insanity killing off the status quo for the betterment of "mankind?"

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    I've had an experience like this myself. I was trying to teach my niece how to swim. So I was holding her up by her belly so she could kick her arms and legs. A cop come over and questioned me. I had to call my sister in law on the cell phone and let her talk to the cop to prove I was her uncle.

    Even then he said he didn't think it was appropriate for me to hold her up like that and I was making people nervous. I guess I'm supposed to just throw her in the water and hope she floats. So now I don't go anywhere with her unless my sister in law, mother, sister, or my girlfriend is with me.

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    A*O
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soth View Post
    This is a sad and true indictment of PC/ over protective behaviour and litigious insanity

    I totally agree. The underlying paranoia and hysteria about men having ANY kind of contact with children, even their own kith and kin, is ridiculous and counter-productive because it's creating a generation of over-anxious kids who automatically assume that all men ARE potential predators who wish them harm and it's simply not true. It's not helped by the fact that so many kids are raised without a stable 'male' influence in their lives these days and male teachers are rapidly becoming extinct because of the pressures they face to behave 'appropriately' without a mob of neurotic parents nervously watching their every move. It's not uncommon these days for parents being forbidden to take videos or photos of their OWN children participating in sports events or school performances.
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    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    This is so sad.

    My bf said he stopped talking to strange kids altogether. Even when they chat him up or smile at him or wave. That's awful.

    A friend of mine is a kindergarten teacher and very passionate about it, but he fears about his image. People always look at him funny when he tells them what he does.
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    A*O
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    MrAO used to go and collect the kids from school sometimes when they were younger and he noticed the suspicious looks and attitudes from the mothers. He felt uncomfortable even striking up a conversation with anyone and it was only after people saw him leaving with his own kids a few times that he was 'accepted'. I know it's slightly unusual for fathers to pick up their kids from school but even so.......
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    Just wait until stories about female pedophiles start surfacing.

    Then we'll start seeing eunuch nannies.

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    I think the point to bear in mind is that despite the horror stories there really isn't a pedophile under every rock. It's good that public awareness of these sickos existance has been raised, but we have gone way too far the other way and automatically assume that any male who interacts with kids in any context is automatically a pervert.
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    Elite Member Soth's Avatar
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    how much cotton wool does society need though. If a teacher or childcare worker cant effectively do their job through the culture of fear (of being accused of wrongdoing in its various forms) before the people that care just stop. There is no winner here.

    I wont make eye contact with kids in an open environment unless my girl is by my side - and shes a kid magnet (seriously scary, and hence how she found me)

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    A friend from Scotland visited recently and was relating some of the same information - only apparently it's far more extreme over there. He would never even consider going into a field like teaching or coaching now because of the stigma. Everyone questions why a "normal" man would want to be around kids. Apparently people even look suspiciously at men who say they want to have kids with their wives. Sad.
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    Elite Member Soth's Avatar
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    Tati - a "normal man" cant be around a child even his own without fear in Oz. Its like lord of the flies......

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    We dont have that problem in here,still..we do have our share of sick ones for sure,but people are trusting in general.
    Dont ask me for how long though,we pick up imported attidudes real quick lately..
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    Elite Member Soth's Avatar
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    edit - it is not an all purveying suspicion when you are near a child so much as the tut-tuts and do -I -dont- I say so's (report to authorities). Its a good community value but why am I as a mature male the potential predator because of my genetic predisposition

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