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Thread: Chronicling the Twitter Meltdown of a Glenn Beck Fan

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    Silver Member Doctora Pepper's Avatar
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    Default Chronicling the Twitter Meltdown of a Glenn Beck Fan

    No idea who this guy is or what the rest of his blog is, but it was an interesting read.

    Monday, May 10, 2010

    Why Are the Good Ones Always Either Married or Racist Clowns?

    I have a confession to make. I know I occasionally talk about The Wife, but really it's a horrible sham. The Wife is just much easier shorthand than "My buddy who thought it would be a bright idea to buy a house with me instead of renting it, then flip it to make money, then also got trapped in it for years thanks to the housing bubble." Really, like you, I'm still searching for meaningful companionship.



    I'm out there every day, trying to find it — something more than living with a guy I've known since high school who plays bass. He can just sit at home slapping away at the riff to "Higher Ground," but I am determined to reach it on foot. With a girl who'll have sex with me. You know, "The One." And just a short while ago, I began to suspect I'd found her. She tweeted, engaged the blogosphere, was politically active and appeared to either work at a Revlon counter or visit one frequently. This was going to be it, the sort of synergy you first think about when you see that Neo and Trinity both have updated versions of ports for patch cables on the backs of their heads in The Matrix. Only this was real, and it was going to happen to me. I'll admit that there was the minor problem that the girl in question seemed able to daily quote Glenn Beck talking points verbatim, but come on. Every marriage is a compromise.

    I want you to understand the despair I felt when I checked my Google reader to see what The One was talking about today, only to find a tweet staring back at me, radiating its danger like the Eye of Sauron (also a movie she and I would have seen if we'd ever met in real life). She wrote:



    Well, that was explained easily enough. It could very well have been a typo. Or a Twitter error. Just picture that happy Twitter whale letting out a spume of whale water from its whalehole and wearing a jolly conical white hat under the words, "Twitter is racially overcapacity! We must enforce migration laws!" or something. Anything was possible.

    But then these two tweets followed:




    The first thing I thought was, "Sara Nichols, 24, of Forest Grove, Oregon, baby... after all we've been through tweetin' and a-postin', is this who you really are?" Sara's response, thank God, was an emphatic no. I read with relief about how she appreciated that negative things would happen to her for calling Obama a "nigger."



    I mean, what more do you need? Sure, she could say that it's morally repugnant and has no place in the discourse. She could explain how, as a Republican, she feels a great burden to enforce concepts of equality and to castigate those who would resort to verbal and social distinctions that separate us — if only to justify free-market level-playing-field rhetoric and all those "Republican Party: We Freed the Slaves about 160 Years Ago" references the GOP uses to try to obscure the racist malevolence inherent in their Southern Strategy of the last 40+ years. She could have done all this, but it was unnecessary, because it was already implicit in her acknowledging that calling the president a "nigger" and his fans "nigger lovers" was something that was going to be really inconvenient for her going forward.

    So I was all set to take her word for it that She's Not Racist Not Violent Just No Longer Silent, especially when she tweeted those same words when she didn't even have to. It's an important declaration to make if you're in her position. Just because you're constantly invoking the poisonous nature of immigrants and the threat that arabs and "muslim presidents" present to the United States doesn't make you racist. And adopting the language of insurrection, images of revolution and the inherent value of bearing the blood of your enemies on your hands doesn't make you violent.

    You're just not silent anymore — about all those things that beset you unjustly but that totally aren't other races or members of a different political party. They're just things. Things you can't be silent about anymore. Not just for yourself but because other people have no idea how fast an eagle dehydrates shedding tears for America like that. Is that what you want for this country? Eagle Slim-Jims just sort of limp-flying over America, landing in aeries like sacks of jerked freedom? Hell no.

    I was back on board, ready to join my voice to an immaculate chorus. I swooned thinking that my dreams with Sara could be back on track. The two of us, out walking together in a pastoral scene, maybe strapping on the old feedbag for a picnic somewhere, her tweeting something really smart and my giving her a carrot, hoping it doesn't rain and melt all the sugar cubes in my pocket. And then these tweets dropped, in quick succession:



    Well let's just say you couldn't have knocked the wind out of me harder if you'd swatted the horse I was on, on its ass, and sent me swinging because I'd looked askance at a white woman. Except the horse in this case was my dreams for a life of matrimonial bliss, and my sweet Sara Nichols, and the white woman I looked at was also her, but she was also the sheriff that choked the life out of our future together. And also the rope. She was all things to me in the birth of our love as well as its execution. But such a protean dynamism couldn't have been born overnight. As is the case with one of our mutual heroes, Ayn Rand (of whom Sara's a fan on her Facebook page), I needed to check my premises.

    For instance, that Roger Ebert comment sounded familiar. It turned out that Sara tweeted about Ebert recently. You see, when a group of white students were asked to turn their shirts inside out on Cinco de Mayo because they were wearing American flag clothing, Ebert quipped that these are the sorts of kids who should be forced to sit with those wearing hammers and sickles on July 4th. The issue wasn't with what the kids believed in but rather on trying not to detract from one group on the one day set aside for them. (Ebert went on, on his blog, to note that we'd have little sympathy for the sorts of stupidly unempathetic people who showed up wearing matching Union Jack shirts at a Boston St. Patrick's Day Parade.) Ebert's tweet generated a torrent of abuse from teapartiers, especially one guy from Michelle Malkin's beloved RedState.com, Caleb Howe. It turned out that Sara retweeted almost all his jokes:



    I dunno, you know? Maybe she was a huge fan of Siskel or something? We're talking about Sara "Not Racist Not Violent Just No Longer Silent" Nichols, here. It's not like there was a pattern of hatef—



    I was stunned, inconsolable, and hungry. You think you know somebody, and then something like this happens. I felt determined to dig more. Michelle Obama could have said something really silly that day. Lizz Winstead created The Daily Show, so you know she can be bitchy. There had to be some method here, because I needed to know was that Sara Nichols was still my smart cookie.



    Okay, so maybe she wasn't. But, you know, I checked. She's from Forest Grove, Oregon, and would have graduated high school as late as 2004. Well, Forest Grove High School had the highest drop out rate in its county and test scores below the state average until the mid-2000s. I would be remiss to write off another conservative hero just because the liberal half-welfare-refuge half-prison system created to school our young in an atmosphere devoid of honest competition for the best outcomes failed someone yet again. Besides, I had ample evidence that she had not abandoned personal initiative when it came to her education.


    While a critical liberal might notice that Sara's Facebook is merely a wall of comments linked from her Twitter page, almost totally bereft of human interaction; while, yes, they may also note that many of her 400+ friends are actually public figures on the lower rungs of TV journalism or else fan pages maintained by people posing as celebrities; while they may indeed focus on how the insularity of it is so striking that it appears that Sara lacks both real-life relationships and any relationships with people online, too; while a jerk might focus on this, I noticed something else.

    I noticed that Sara was a fan of over 1,500 pages on Facebook: information flowing to her daily, updates, links, photos, commentary — all of these things appearing in her Facebook feed, saturating her with information and correcting the errors of literacy, economics, American history, critical thinking and mathematics injuriously foisted on her by the liberal school system. In fact, I scanned the pages and discovered that Sara follows:
    multiple Ronald Reagans;
    a multitude of christian groups, including numerous mormons and mormon organizations;
    any Republican personality that has appeared on FOX News in the last two years, except,
    Joseph Cao, who needs to be impeached, and
    Charlie Crist, who's a bitch;
    Rands by the handful! both Ayn and Rand Paul;
    Ron Paul;
    aside from sports teams and perhaps two pop acts, not a single black person;
    groups that rely on primarily racist caricature, like, "Pull Up Your Damn Pants";
    Twilight;
    Stephanie Meyer;
    enough Joe Arpaios that even Joe Arpaio is probably concerned many of him are illegal;
    Glenn Beck-related pages (I lost count at over 40);
    Justin Bieber (lost count after over a dozen);
    the same with Hannah Montana;
    the same with pages devoted to making critical acronyms of the name OBAMA, or suggesting something that should be done with him;
    the same with pages titled, "I Bet We Can Get This [Animal/Person/Object] More Fans Than [Democrat]";
    not a single news outlet or public figure remotely in danger of presenting a viewpoint critical of any of the above;
    the show Two and a Half Men.
    It was the last one that pushed me over the edge.

    Admittedly, I had started to have suspicions earlier. I mean, it's sort of a questionable decision to make racist comments/use racist words when they rely on the concept of inherent genetic inferiority, physical conditions that their sufferers cannot get past. It's just not good form to refer your audience to the notion that some people are inherently broken when you have a handicap. For instance, Wee Man might well be an amateur eugenicist, but I think he saw the good sense in not coming back from commercial by setting up a stepstool and delivering a lecture about flawless aryans to the cast of Jackass. Thus I pretty much started questioning the wisdom behind Sara's dropping the n-bomb as a go-to measure of pointing out her interlocutors' inferiority when she has ample spelling problems, a visitation schedule with facts less frequent that a convicted pedophile's with his children, and a strange resemblance to the product of a night of passion between John Elway and a donkey that surely violates some abstruse Alabama sexual statute.

    I pondered these thoughts again just before I noticed that she deleted her Twitter feed, making her the second insane woman of whose insanity I became involuntary trustee. Luckily, her Twitter pictures were still up, a strange gallery of Glenn Beck pictures with captions like:I knew when I saw these words that I'd never had her. Her heart belonged to that momron bastard. Despairing, I closed the browser window, only to realize that I had one left open still, to her Twitter, one last glimpse before it disappeared forever. If I closed it now, I'd never know what was written on it, never feel the hurt from it, but I couldn't help but read on. Astounded as I was by her prolific tweeting — 13,000+ since God only knows when — I had opted to click back to the very last page of them that Twitter had stored, page 159 (or about 3,100 tweets back). It only took me to March of this year, but here's the first thing I saw:



    I had come full circle.

    Sara Nichols hated people who used the word "nigger." She hated herself for using it, but mainly because that made life on Twitter suddenly much harder for her. She hated it because it made her fellow teapartiers start their now-familiar party-purge tactic of accusing her of being a liberal plant, a false-flag operator, disavowing her words because they must be foreign. They said she was sent to discredit the Republican party with the ruthless efficiency that comes from winning fellow Republicans over after a mere 13,000 tweets, 1,500 fan page subscriptions, numerous other Republican and teaparty profiles, and a Facebook and Myspace that repeated the same content in her personal life. She hated using the word "nigger" because someone called her gay. Also, that bitch Lizz Winstead. What a bitch.

    But most of all she hated people for using it because she is Not Racist, Not Violent Just No Longer Silent. She knows the power of the word "nigger." Just look at that lying ni— uh, er, liberal, John Lewis using it by completely making up white people who supposedly said it to him. Sara Nichols hated that word for the power it exerted to pervert the discourse, by making it about teapartiers or about her, about their phantom "racism" instead of the probative issues of our day. Like, for instance, how John Lewis marched out of Selma for equal rights for all people and had his head stove in by state troopers on the Edmund Pettus Bridge and, as his vision exploded into starlight and as any honest man would begin to wonder if he would die, instead thought, "It is going to be so great when I figure out how to pay this off by totally fucking whitey."


    Sara Nichols knew of this danger and now she is lost not just to me but to us all — forever. Or until she registers a new Twitter account with a different name.

  2. #2
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    lol
    tea partiers are fucking insane. and the sad part is there are soooooo many of them...
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

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    Elite Member nancydrew's Avatar
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    And they all think their beliefs are all perfectly sane and acceptable.
    (276): Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
    OK, I can't sing, I can't act, I'm dumb, I'm a hillbilly, but I can twerk, so whatever.-Miley Cyrus

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    Hit By Ban Bus!
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    Bitch brings teh cray cray but mostly teh stupid.

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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    My head is spinning from reading such a breathtaking combination of stupidity and vitriol. Wow. If this is the future of the world we are all doomed.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
    --Sinclair Lewis

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    Elite Member chartreuse's Avatar
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    somebody needs to smoke a bowl.
    white, black, puerto rican/everybody just a freakin'/good times were rollin'.


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    Silver Member Doctora Pepper's Avatar
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    I think what bothered me the most was her tweeting to Roger Ebert that "what flag do I fly when you die of cancer." Twitter is a direct link to celebrities, and I'm sure Roger saw that. I hope he was able to brush it off as the rantings of a deranged woman.

    I think it's a sad state for teabaggers and Americans in general that I'm not even shocked that they're calling out people as nigger lovers, homos, and whores in a public setting and using their real name without shame.
    Last edited by Doctora Pepper; May 10th, 2010 at 11:30 AM.

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    Elite Member Sundance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ang View Post
    somebody needs to smoke a bowl.
    or get laid. Damn. Just damn.
    “The thing that attracts people to “The Sopranos” is the family element. It shows that America still has a longing for that traditional upbringing.” Christine O'Donnell

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    Gold Member Little Goon's Avatar
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    Is this person really on Twitter? I find it hard to believe that her posts were real. No one sane would post any of that crap.
    I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George W. Bush

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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    yeah it was real but she deleted her profile, probably due to this (awesome) article.
    Posted from my iPhone
    Last edited by sputnik; May 10th, 2010 at 02:46 PM.

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    Elite Member Sundance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Goon View Post
    Is this person really on Twitter? I find it hard to believe that her posts were real. No one sane would post any of that crap.
    Glenn Beck fan. So there you go
    “The thing that attracts people to “The Sopranos” is the family element. It shows that America still has a longing for that traditional upbringing.” Christine O'Donnell

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    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    She seems EXACTLY like the type of person Glen Beck is aimed towards. I can't imagine living with all that hate.
    If i hear one more personal attack, i will type while drunk, then you can cry! - Bugdoll
    (716): I'd call her a cunt, but she doesn't seem to have the depth or warmth
    Quote Originally Posted by shedevilang View Post
    (Replying to MontanaMama) This is some of the smartest shit I ever read

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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doctora Pepper View Post
    I think what bothered me the most was her tweeting to Roger Ebert that "what flag do I fly when you die of cancer." Twitter is a direct link to celebrities, and I'm sure Roger saw that. I hope he was able to brush it off as the rantings of a deranged woman.

    I think it's a sad state for teabaggers and Americans in general that I'm not even shocked that they're calling out people as nigger lovers, homos, and whores in a public setting and using their real name without shame.
    It's odd, isn't it? How can she expect to get a job or even just live her life if she's putting this crap out there publicly? I warned someone once about some of the stuff they were putting on their fb page. They laughed at me but I'm waiting for it to bite them in the ass at some point.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
    --Sinclair Lewis

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    Silver Member Doctora Pepper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by buttmunch View Post
    It's odd, isn't it? How can she expect to get a job or even just live her life if she's putting this crap out there publicly? I warned someone once about some of the stuff they were putting on their fb page. They laughed at me but I'm waiting for it to bite them in the ass at some point.
    I'm not sure. Unless she's a megatroll, she probably thinks of herself as a 'true American' and dislikes others who are not. I don't live near or work with anyone like this, so I'm just guessing. I wonder what her family/coworkers think when she posts this stuff. The only similar thing I have is a friend from high school that posts conservative stuff, ie. a picture of a grave saying the day Obama was elected as a date of death with the name U.S.A. above it.

  15. #15
    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    ^^And you will be defriending her, yes?
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
    --Sinclair Lewis

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