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Thread: 'Canada Sucks,' eh? Well, America is fading fast...

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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! ourmaninBusan's Avatar
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    Default 'Canada Sucks,' eh? Well, America is fading fast...

    Having just read the 'Canada Sucks' article
    (and not disagreeing with it that much),
    I now feel compelled to take the various Yanks on the board
    down a peg or two. This is from this link:
    http://www.citypages.com/databank/26...ticle12985.asp


    No concept lies more firmly embedded in our national character
    than the notion that the USA is "No. 1," "the greatest."
    Our broadcast media are, in essence, continuous advertisements
    for the brand name "America Is No. 1."
    Any office seeker saying otherwise
    would be committing political suicide. In fact, anyone saying otherwise
    will be labeled "un-American." We're an "empire," ain't we? Sure we are.
    An empire without a manufacturing base. An empire that must borrow $2
    billion a day from its competitors in order to function. Yet the delusion is
    ineradicable. We're No. 1. Well...this is the country you really live in:

    The United States is 49th in the world in literacy (the New York Times, Dec. 12, 2004).

    The United States ranked 28th out of 40 countries in mathematical literacy (NYT, Dec. 12, 2004).

    Twenty percent of Americans think the sun orbits the earth.
    Seventeen percent believe the earth revolves around the sun once a day
    (The Week, Jan. 7, 2005).

    "The International Adult Literacy Survey...found that Americans with less
    than nine years of education 'score worse than virtually all of the other
    countries'" (Jeremy Rifkin's superbly documented book The European
    Dream: How Europe's Vision of the Future Is Quietly Eclipsing the
    American Dream, p.78).

    Our workers are so ignorant and lack so many basic skills that American
    businesses spend $30 billion a year on remedial training (NYT, Dec. 12,
    2004). No wonder they relocate elsewhere!

    "The European Union leads the U.S. in...the number of science and
    engineering graduates; public research and development (R&D)
    expenditures; and new capital raised" (The European Dream, p.70).
    Want more?

    Sadly, I got more. Although it behooves me to admit
    that you have to have been a once-great country
    to fall so far, so hard:

    The United States is 41st in the world in infant mortality. Cuba scores higher (NYT, Jan. 12, 2005).

    Women are 70 percent more likely to die in childbirth in America than in
    Europe (NYT, Jan. 12, 2005).

    The leading cause of death of pregnant women in this country is murder
    (CNN, Dec. 14, 2004).

    "Of the 20 most developed countries in the world, the U.S. was dead last
    in the growth rate of total compensation to its workforce in the 1980s....
    In the 1990s, the U.S. average compensation growth rate grew only
    slightly, at an annual rate of about 0.1 percent" (The European Dream,
    p.39). Yet Americans work longer hours per year than any other
    industrialized country, and get less vacation time.

    "Sixty-one of the 140 biggest companies on the Global Fortune 500
    rankings are European, while only 50 are U.S. companies" (The European
    Dream, p.66).

    "In a recent survey of the world's 50 best companies,
    conducted by Global Finance, all but one were European" (The European
    Dream, p.69).

    "Fourteen of the 20 largest commercial banks in the world today
    are European....
    In engineering and construction, three of the top five companies are
    European.... The two others are Japanese. Not a single American
    engineering and construction company is included among the world's top
    nine competitors.


    In food and consumer products, Nestl and Unilever,
    two European giants, rank first and second, respectively, in the world
    .
    In the food and drugstore retail trade, two European companies...
    are first and second, and European companies make up five of the top
    ten. Only four U.S. companies are on the list" (The European Dream,
    p.68).

    The United States has lost 1.3 million jobs to China in the last
    decade (CNN, Jan. 12, 2005).

    U.S. employers eliminated 1 million jobs in 2004 (The Week, Jan. 14, 2005).

    Japan, China, Taiwan, and South Korea hold 40 percent of our
    government debt. (That's why we talk nice to them.)
    "By helping keep mortgage rates from rising, China has come to play
    an enormous and little-noticed role in sustaining the American housing boom" (NYT, Dec. 4, 2004).
    Read that twice. We owe our housing boom to China, because
    they want us to keep buying all that stuff they manufacture.
    Am I being anti-American yet? Maybe. Maybe it's just me.
    But there is a profound difference between someone trying
    to predict a problem and someone who's trying to cause it....
    and because all of these problems will spread to Canada,
    which is like a remora to the American shark.

    Sometime in the next 10 years Brazil will probably pass the U.S. as
    the world's largest agricultural producer....[In 2003,]
    Brazil passed the U.S. as the world's largest beef producer. (Hear that,
    you poor deluded cowboys?) As a result, while we bear record trade
    deficits, Brazil boasts a $30 billion trade surplus (NYT, Dec. 12, 2004).

    As of last June, the U.S. imported more food than it exported
    (NYT, Dec. 12, 2004).

    Bush: 62,027,582 votes. Kerry: 59,026,003 votes.
    Number of eligible voters who didn't show up: 79,279,000 (NYT,
    Dec. 26, 2004). That's more than a third. Way more. If more than
    a third of Iraqis don't show for their election, no country in the world
    will think that election legitimate.

    "Americans are now spending more money on gambling
    than on movies, videos, DVDs, music, and books combined" (The European Dream, p.28).

    "Nearly one out of four Americans [believe] that using violence to get
    what they want is acceptable" (The European Dream, p.32).

    "Nearly 900,000 children were abused or neglected in 2002, the last year
    for which such data are available" (USA Today, Dec. 21, 2004).


    No. 1? In most important categories we're not even in the Top 10
    anymore. Not even close. The USA is "No. 1" in nothing but weaponry,
    consumer spending, debt, and delusion.
    And I edited out a lot of stuff. Still, GO TEAM!


    ♫` ∴|| ~∞≠∝ ♫♪ $ -4C

  2. #2
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    W00!

    All bow to your new god, Square seedless watermelon!
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

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    Hit By Ban Bus! WickedHo's Avatar
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    Haven't read your posts yet, Grimm, but your subject title made me chuckle cuz it reminds me of a joke:

    How do you spell "Canada"? C,eh, N,eh, D,eh.

    ETA: Me so stupid. I did not mean to give credit were credit was not due, OurMan. Sorry!
    Last edited by WickedHo; October 17th, 2005 at 12:12 PM.

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    Hit By Ban Bus! WickedHo's Avatar
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    The USA is "No. 1" in nothing but weaponry, consumer spending, debt, and delusion.

    And, yet, we still rock. America rules! Canada drools! :p
    J/K.

    But I am curious: how does Canada stack up? And you should post that funny-ass picture (Grimm), the one about "If this were prison..."

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    Hit By Ban Bus! DisruptiveHair's Avatar
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    Go America!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO! USA! USA! USA!

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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  7. #7
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    The Canadian Manifesto:

    Hey, I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader....
    I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled....

    and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
    although I'm certain they're really really nice.

    I have a Prime Minister, not a president.

    I speak English and French, not American.

    And I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.

    I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.

    I believe in peace keeping, not policing,
    diversity, not assimilation,
    and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.

    A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch,
    and it is pronounced 'zed' not 'zee', 'zed' !!!!

    Canada is the second largest landmass!
    The first nation of hockey!
    and the best part of North America

    My name is Joe!!
    And I am Canadian!!!
    Last edited by Grimmlok; October 17th, 2005 at 12:49 PM.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  8. #8
    Hit By Ban Bus! WickedHo's Avatar
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    ^^^ God, I love puns!!! So funny. "Dam proud." Hee hee. I'm still waiting, Grimm, for that picture of "We're bigger and we're on top..."

    **folds arms, pouts**

  9. #9
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    ^^ I'm trying to find it, but it aint happenin... i only found it by accident before.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  10. #10
    Hit By Ban Bus! WickedHo's Avatar
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    ^^ You big tease. :p

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    Gold Member ohmygoodness's Avatar
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    I saved it. Hehe.


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    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    America sucks!
    our soldiers murdered a Spanish journalist in Iraq and burned and taunted "suspected" taliban memberS in Afghanistan!

    WTF!?!

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    Hit By Ban Bus! UndercoverGator's Avatar
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    Canada rocks! Any nation that makes both Aerobars and little plastic penguins that poop candy gets my approval.

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    Hit By Ban Bus! DisruptiveHair's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UndercoverGator View Post
    Canada rocks! Any nation that makes both Aerobars and little plastic penguins that poop candy gets my approval.

    They make Aero bars here too.

    I think the reason so many Americans like them is because they aren't widely available in the US. Sort of like...if you can't get it, you crave it all the more.

  15. #15
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    omg the mint chocolate aeros... *spooge*
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

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