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Thread: You must be this much of a dick to recieve support from the Republican Party

  1. #1
    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Default You must be this much of a dick to recieve support from the Republican Party

    The Republicans were embarrassed when their candidate in NY-23 turned out to be too electable to be acceptable to the psychos who've seized control of their party. RNC members have proposed a solution: a purity test!

    RNC member Jim Bopp and nine other committee members sponsored a resolution, to be considered at the party's winter meeting, outlining the nine essential tenets of the modern Republican party: calling Obama names and opposing everything he tries to do (besides escalating wars, unless he doesn't escalate them enough).

    "THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that the Republican National Committee identifies ten (10) key public policy positions for the 2010 election cycle, which the Republican National Committee expects its public officials and candidates to support:

    (1) We support smaller government, smaller national debt, lower deficits and lower taxes by opposing bills like Obama's "stimulus" bill;

    (2) We support market-based health care reform and oppose Obama-style government run healthcare;

    (3) We support market-based energy reforms by opposing cap and trade legislation;

    (4) We support workers' right to secret ballot by opposing card check;

    (5) We support legal immigration and assimilation into American society by opposing amnesty for illegal immigrants;

    (6) We support victory in Iraq and Afghanistan by supporting military-recommended troop surges;

    (7) We support containment of Iran and North Korea, particularly effective action to eliminate their nuclear weapons threat;

    (8) We support retention of the Defense of Marriage Act;

    (9) We support protecting the lives of vulnerable persons by opposing health care rationing and denial of health care and government funding of abortion; and

    (10) We support the right to keep and bear arms by opposing government restrictions on gun ownership; and be further

    RESOLVED, that a candidate who disagrees with three or more of the above stated public policy position of the Republican National Committee, as identified by the voting record, public statements and/or signed questionnaire of the candidate, shall not be eligible for financial support and endorsement by the Republican National Committee; and be further

    RESOLVED, that upon the approval of this resolution the Republican National Committee shall deliver a copy of this resolution to each of Republican members of Congress, all Republican candidates for Congress, as they become known, and to each Republican state and territorial party office.

    So. You are allowed to disagree with two of those, if you would like to be a Republican, but disagree with three of them and you will be shunned.

    Wait, you might be saying, I thought "cap and trade" was a market-based alternative to a carbon tax? To you, the RNC says "go back to Russia."

    This does open up the door for a Republican who is pro-gay marriage and anti-gun, as long as they hate immigrants and love war. So, you know, still a big tent!

    But they really should've gone further.

    (11) We support the right of people to assemble and demonstrate peacefully, as long as they have guns and racist signs.
    (12) We support keeping government out of Medicare.
    (13) We support being oddly terrified of a loosely organized network of community organizers.
    (14) We support claiming that everyone who accuses us of racism is a reverse racist.
    (15) We support pretending we didn't support the bank bailout and purposefully conflating it with the stimulus bill.
    (16) We support believing that angry southern white males are all the votes we'll ever need.
    You Must Be This Much of a Dick to Receive RNC Support - Republicans - Gawker

    So it's all about hating Obama and not about doing anything positive for the country. Assholes.
    Last edited by buttmunch; November 24th, 2009 at 01:29 PM.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
    --Sinclair Lewis

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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    "We support enriching ourselves further on the backs of the population."

    "We support keeping said population as ignorant as possible to support item 1."

    "We support a number of hypocritical actions, false information, and sheer lies to enable this entire list."
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

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    Butt, where is this from?

    Sorry, I'm not getting an attribution through my filters or something.
    CHILLY FREE!
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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Whoops. It's gawker. I'll add a link.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
    --Sinclair Lewis

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    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
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    (1) We support smaller government, smaller national debt, lower deficits and lower taxes by opposing bills like Obama's "stimulus" bill;
    Funny how they didn't support smaller government, smaller debt and lower deficits when Dubya expanded the government's reach, wasted the surplus Clinton left & drove us into more debt.

    (5) We support legal immigration and assimilation into American society by opposing amnesty for illegal immigrants;
    Assimilation sounds like the same Nazi facism that they claim to hate.

    (6) We support victory in Iraq and Afghanistan by supporting military-recommended troop surges;
    How can you support victory in a two poorly planned wars, especially in one that was based on an illegal invasion designed to illegally steal Iraq's oil supply. But it's funny how they didn't include capturing Bin Laden as part of the 'victory' plan, but accused Clinton of doing too little to stop Bin Laden.

    (7) We support containment of Iran and North Korea, particularly effective action to eliminate their nuclear weapons threat;
    And how do you plan to contain Iran & North Korea? Rattle sabres. Yeah, that'll work.

    (8) We support retention of the Defense of Marriage Act;
    They want to preserve their image of marriage, but continue to disrespect their own marriage vows by having multiple affairs.

    (9) We support protecting the lives of vulnerable persons by opposing health care rationing and denial of health care and government funding of abortion; and
    The vulnerable people are the millions who can't afford healthcare and are being driven into bankruptcy because of rising healthcare costs. And the insurance companies have been rationing healthcare for years. It's called denying coverage because of pre-existing conditions.

    (10) We support the right to keep and bear arms by opposing government restrictions on gun ownership; and be further
    Gun regulation is meant to keep psychos and criminals from gaining easy access to weapons, especially assault rifles. It has nothing to do with denying law-abiding citizens the right to own guns.

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    Elite Member lurkur's Avatar
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    i.e.,
    (1) Corporatism (boo Obama)
    (2) Corporatism (boo public)
    (3) Corporatism (boo environment)
    (4) Corporatism (boo unions)
    (5) Racism (boo un-Amerikunz)
    (6) War (boo Iraq & Afghanistan)
    (7) War (boo Iran and North Korea
    (8) Homophobia (boo gays)
    (9) Corporatism and Fundamentalism (boo women)
    (10) Guns (YAY GUNS!)

    I don't get the big announcement, they kept their same old topics, but shuffled them around. I guess this year, corporations score the coveted Top 3. Next year they'll sweep Top 5 for sure.

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    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    ^ Nice summary, Lurker.
    "If you are not outraged, then you are not paying attention," Heather Heyer's facebook quote.

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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lurkur View Post
    i.e.,
    (1) Corporatism (boo Obama)
    (2) Corporatism (boo public)
    (3) Corporatism (boo environment)
    (4) Corporatism (boo unions)
    (5) Racism (boo un-Amerikunz)
    (6) War (boo Iraq & Afghanistan)
    (7) War (boo Iran and North Korea
    (8) Homophobia (boo gays)
    (9) Corporatism and Fundamentalism (boo women)
    (10) Guns (YAY GUNS!)

    I don't get the big announcement, they kept their same old topics, but shuffled them around. I guess this year, corporations score the coveted Top 3. Next year they'll sweep Top 5 for sure.

    Now they're putting down, in black and white, exactly what they want and what they'll offer. Scary but at least now we know.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
    --Sinclair Lewis

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    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    I wish I could say that this doesn't concern me, but you just know they will be back in charge sooner or later. Prepare yourself for the dark age.
    Hello mother fucker! when you ask a question read also the answer instead of asking another question on an answer who already contain the answer of your next question!
    -Bugdoll-



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    Elite Member cmmdee's Avatar
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    But they really should've gone further.

    (11) We support the right of people to assemble and demonstrate peacefully, as long as they have guns and racist signs.


    Quote Originally Posted by lurkur View Post
    i.e.,
    (1) Corporatism (boo Obama)
    (2) Corporatism (boo public)
    (3) Corporatism (boo environment)
    (4) Corporatism (boo unions)
    (5) Racism (boo un-Amerikunz)
    (6) War (boo Iraq & Afghanistan)
    (7) War (boo Iran and North Korea
    (8) Homophobia (boo gays)
    (9) Corporatism and Fundamentalism (boo women)
    (10) Guns (YAY GUNS!)

  11. #11
    Elite Member Mr. Authority's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by buttmunch View Post
    Now they're putting down, in black and white, exactly what they want and what they'll offer. Scary but at least now we know.
    Pretty much. Instead of spraying air freshener on their shitty ideas, they're just letting the turds go dry and expect the people not to clean it up.

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