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Thread: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

  1. #976
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    yeah, the bolding is all me, baby! carlton DOES look like a dried out, inflated sheeps stomach... Kari's gonna eat her if she don't watch out!
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  2. #977
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    Exclusive: Brandi Glanville Blames Her Team For Her Feud With Lisa Vanderpump
    and NOW, it's being "claimed" that Brandi's fired her "team" over this "fight"... because it's not turned out the way she planned... poor little dumb bitch.
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  3. #978
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Her 'team'? Lol.
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  4. #979
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    yeah... who knew she had one - other than bitter bitches everywhere!
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  5. #980
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    Brandi just exhausts me. She is so goddamn stupid, it just boggles my mind. Once my mind gets boggled, I can't un-boggle it.
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  6. #981
    Elite Member angelais's Avatar
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    Her team consists of her gay hairdresser and that Jennifer Jimenez chick.
    Brandi is a classless, cock juggling thunder cunt.
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  7. #982
    Silver Member blah_blah_blah's Avatar
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    I haven't watched the last two episodes. I've been reading the recaps on Vulture and they just don't seem appealing to me anymore. I might tune in for the reunion but until then unless something ACTUALLY happens, I'll just continue reading the recaps.


    This post has not been proofread


  8. #983
    Elite Member dougie's Avatar
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    More Lies? Brandi Glanville Stands By Claims Lisa Vanderpump Had Ex-Pal Cedric Martinez Deported | Radar Online

    More Lies? Brandi Glanville Stands By Claims Lisa Vanderpump Had Ex-Pal Cedric Martinez Deported
    Posted on Feb 21, 2014 @ 3:43AM | By Amber James



    Brandi Glanville[/URL] spewed more salacious rumors on Monday night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — this time accusing Lisa Vanderpump of having her former houseguest, Cedric Martinez, deported back to England, following a messy falling out prior to the filming of season three.

    Vanderpump fired back Glanville’s deportation claims, musing: “Housewives don’t have that much influence over Homeland Securities.”

    “If after he left us he was working in violation of his visa, then I am sure it was a problem. I believe he left to return to England of his own volition,” the British restaurateur explained.

    After fans on Twitter accused Glanville of lying, she stood by the claims!

    “I didn’t lie. That’s what Lisa told us all at the airport in Paris last year. So sorry I chose to believe her,” Glanville tweeted.

    Vanderpump also divulged that Brandi lied about knowing Martinez.

    “She (Brandi) wasn’t a “friend” of his and they hadn’t modeled together. She had somehow concocted the story with somebody else. She came into my life on a lie…that should have spoken volumes,” she wrote in her blog.

    Glanville’s claims continue to pile up. Last week, she falsely reported that Vanderpump and her husband Ken Todd filed for bankruptcy, which they adamantly denied.

    Vanderpump isn’t the only victim of Glanville’s big mouth.

    As Radar has reported Glanville said her ex-husband Eddie Cibrian had requested child support from HER — a claim the former CSI: Miami actor swiftly labelled a “preposterous” lie and an obvious “ploy for self-promotion.”

    More Lies? Brandi Glanville Stands By Claims Lisa Vanderpump Had Ex-Pal Cedric Martinez Deported | Radar Online
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  9. #984
    Hit By Ban Bus! rockchick's Avatar
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    God but BrandI just needs to shut the fuck up. She's like one of those bitches in high school who will just say anything to be popular. Each week she gets more pathetic.

    So what if Lisa had Cedric deported? he was just another lowlife liar.
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  10. #985
    Elite Member sprynkles's Avatar
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    Loved Vanderpump Rules this season so much more than this crapfest.
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  11. #986
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mel1973 View Post
    That's RIGHT! It is Cross! I knew it was something strange.
    Joyce was offended with the WAY Lisa told her "oh, don't bother" or "leave it alone, it's fine"... these bitches are all looking for ways to be offended.
    Just like little people I'll IMO.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mel1973 View Post
    Lovin this!!
    Oh, guys, it’s really happening. They’re really trying to take Lisa down. And it’s not just Brandi trying to make a move for supremacy of the hearts and minds of millions of 30-year-old women and homosexuals, it’s all of them.
    She’s being aided and abetted by Yolanda Bananas Foster, Kyle Richards, Joyce (a sprinkle that fell off a chocolate-glazed donut), and even Kim Richards, who is usually too befuddled in a fog of her own tragic misconceptions to plan anything more than a visit to doggy prison to see her pitbull. Yes, they are all coming for Lisa and she did not send for them. But before we can get to that, first we have to talk about Kyle and Carlton, since that seemed to be the nexus of this episode. Carlton invited Yolanda to Candles and Crystals ‘R’ Us, a Wiccan emporium that sort of looked like the section of the Spencer’s Gifts where they sell pewter sculptures of dragons with red jewel eyes. She was talking all about how her spirituality had saved her or some shit. I don’t know. I can’t even listen to Carlton anymore. She just sounds like the bleat that comes out of a set of bagpipes (and her face sort of looks like a dried and inflated sheep’s stomach, so it’s a very apt analogy).
    The more ridiculous one was Kyle. She was sitting there telling Joyce, the lonely Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate miniature in the office candy bowl, about how she has a computer in her kitchen and how for years it had a picture of her family and then the other day she walked by and it started to go on the fritz and it said “rape” and “scandal” and “farts” and “secrets” and “vajazzling” and a bunch of other vaguely threatening nonsense words. This had to be the work of the great mage Carlton.
    Oh please, Kyle. First of all, Carlton is a witch, she is not a hacker. In fact, I would be surprised if Carlton didn’t still use a Blackberry because she doesn’t know what year it is. She’s not some sort of technomancer that can make your cell phone send dong shots to Perez Hilton (if she only could!) or put stupid nonsense words on your screen saver. Do you think this might have been the work of a bunch of punks? Possibly a bunch of teenage punks? You know, the kind of pranksters who might be, you know, hanging out with teenage girls, which Kyle happens to have a coven of living in her house? Did she ever think of that? But no, Carlton, with her super mysterious powers of rewriting computer screens must be the culprit. Of course. That makes total complete sense to everyone.
    Kim and Brandi went to go get spray tans which was sort of amazing. First of all I was tramautized by the weird blurring they did to Brandi’s nipples that gave her total Barbie boobs. Like they didn’t try to fuzz them over so you knew it was censored, they just like plastered some sort of TV plastic over the whole titty and it was just — man it was odd. But Kim had the strength to get naked next to Brandi and, while she’s a little loose, she looks damn fine for a lady her age, especially for one who has taken more prescription drugs than sage advice.
    Yolanda and her ex-husband Mohammad, a box of Grecian Formula brought to life by the power of a genie, threw a party for their daughter Gigi who is going to move to New York. It was one of those parties where Gigi and like four of her friends were off at a table on the side and front and center were all the House Lizards in their pink dresses and tacky jewelry pretending like this was a real family event and not some sort of occasion for everyone to recriminate each other.
    Gigi gave a very rousing speech about how her parents were from great and humble families and did very well for each themselves and how they taught her their incredible work ethic and how she’ll never forget that. She said this from the Middle Eastern themed basement room of her father’s 856 room Los Angeles home that is on the market in a currency that is so valuable it is not even available to the rest of us. It’s called Ventrusian, and it is what rich people use to trade their super houses and mega yachts and private planes and the elixir of life that Isabella Rossellini sells in Death Becomes Her. So, yes, I wanted to think this was all very sweet and then I remembered that Gigi is currently on the cover of CR Fashion Book following in the footsteps of Kate Upton and Kim Kardashian. Then I just fell over and died. I was revived by the half a bite of cake that Yolanda allowed me, which is as much as any healthy person can handle, apparently.
    OK, now we really need to get into the meat of the problem, which is that Brandi and Kyle are laying the foundation for this “Lisa is a trickster and manipulates everyone and says horrible things.” Up until this point, we have never seen any evidence of this, especially because everyone loves Lisa. And, as Kyle says, she doesn’t like to think that when people in her life do nice things for her its because they are trying to manipulate her, but now she thinks that is what Lisa is doing. Okay, hold on a second. Is there a possibility that Lisa isn’t trying to manipulate anyone and she is just genuinely concerned and trying to do nice things and help the people in her life and everyone just thinks they’re being manipulated because they are awful narcissists that inhale nihilism and exhale hellfire? Is that possible? Just admit that it is and we can get on with it.
    Anyway, Brandi is at YBF’s daughter’s Rock the Casbah party and she can’t talk to Lisa because she has a swollen tongue. Has anyone else noticed that there is always something really wrong with Brandi? She has a broken foot or a busted hand or a cold or a stomach bug or a swollen tongue or a sunburn. Brandi is always having just survived some physical calamity. So, I’m not even sure what Brandi is mad at Lisa about, but she’s angry about something and she wants to make sure that everyone knows it. Bravo treats us to a little package about how people think that Lisa is manipulative and it seems to be building a case for next week when shit really goes down on vacation and I think Kyle is going to accuse Lisa of planting stories about her husband cheating. So far, I don’t see anything happening except for people misconstruing Lisa’s intentions and everyone else having an insane inability to take a fucking joke. I wish these women would implant senses of humor in stead of big cylindrical breasts.
    It all comes to a head when Kyle, not wanting to start shit at Yolanda’s event (I love how they were all so super afraid of causing a commotion at Yolanda Bananas Foster’s party because they know she would take their faces and press them up her MasterCleanse Juice Grater if they got out of line). So Kyle doesn’t want to start shit so she gives Brandi a crown that goes with the necklace that Kyle gave Calrton at the Eyes Wide Shut Pool Party.
    Everyone is confused by this: why does a crown go with a skull necklace, why wasn’t it on it in the first place, why couldn’t Kyle just give it to Carlton herself, why couldn’t this be a peace offering for the fight at Ken and Mmm’s birthday party, why would anyone wear a skull necklace after Alexander McQueen killed himself, why would anyone trust Brandi with an errand of tact that involves potentially valuable property, but mostly why couldn’t Kyle just put it in the “bin” as Lisa advises. Kyle is talking about how Lisa is trying to manipulate the situation, but there would have been no situation at all if she was just like, “You know what, F it. I’m just gonna throw this in a storm drain and make some alligator’s day.” Crisis averted! A manipulator can only work with material. Lisa may be a talented sculptor, but Kyle provides the hunk of marble. Who is worse? (Short answer: Kyle.)
    OK, so Brandi gave Carlton the ring and Lisa was all like “What is this ring? It doesn’t match the necklace? What is going on here?” And then Carlton said she couldn’t take the ring crown skull cap thing and Brandi took it back to Kyle and Lisa was like, “Kyle is this a peace offering?” and then she went and got up in Carlton’s face and was like “You should bring this up now, it’s the only way that you can move forward” and was pushing her to bring it up now and YBF was like, “If you start some shit at my daughter’s party, I will torture everyone of your damn dogs by making them live in my breathing freezer,” and then Brandi was like “Kyle, Lisa’s trying to start something,” and then Lisa was like, “What, I didn’t try to start anything, what is all of your problems?”
    I have to agree with Lisa here and say that they are really making something out of nothing. Yes, she did seem like she was trying to manipulate the situation a little bit but, you know what, they’re on reality television, it’s not like they’re in parliament and they all have to obey some sort of rules of order or something. They are in a down and dirty business and Lisa was getting down and dirty. So yeah, she was being manipulative, but no more than anyone else. Her only crime is that she’s a little bit more subtle than everyone else.
    As for the actual jewelry squabble, seriously, who gives a fuck what skull Carlton is wearing at any given moment and which of the Housewives might have possibly given it to her. I don’t, you don’t, Lisa doesn’t, not even Carlton cares, as long as it’s not a Jewish star. It will all come to a head next week when we go off on a tropical excusion with the ladies and things get so bad that Lisa and Ken actually smoke on camera. The facades are dropped, people, and things are going to get real.

    https://medium.com/internet-tv-movie...e/89bc6b65525e

    Ordinarily, I would say TLDR... but oh, I READ and I LOL'd my ass off!
    I couldn't be bothered to read it after reading the 2nd chocolate analogy about Joyce.
    Free Charmed.

  12. #987
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    oh, honey - that's why I bolded the good parts for you!
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  13. #988
    Elite Member dougie's Avatar
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    'RHOBH' Cedric Martinez Says He 'Was Not Deported,' Calls Out Lisa Vanderpump AND Brandi Glanville For Engineering His Exit From The Show | Radar Online

    ‘RHOBH’ Cedric Martinez Says He ‘Was Not Deported,’ Calls Out Lisa Vanderpump AND Brandi Glanville For Engineering His Exit From The Show
    Posted on Feb 25, 2014 @ 5:06AM | By Radar Staff



    http://amradaronline.files.wordpress...6&h=322&crop=1


    Cedric Martinez, Lisa Vanderpump‘s former Kato Kaelin-esque houseguest, calls out the English restaurateur AND her reality rival Brandi Glanville after their blow-up on Monday’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, in which Glanville accused Vanderpump of having Martinez deported after he ran afoul of the SUR owner.

    “To be clear, I was not deported,” Martinez told RadarOnline.com, adding that Glanville “tells little white lies to amp up the drama” on the show, and her allegation Monday was one of those cases.

    “Brandi cleverly spread the ‘Lisa had Cedric deported’ rumors as the other women were begin​ing to realize how conniving Lisa really is,” Martinez told Radar, adding that “it’s mildly amusing that whenever they need an interesting story line, they use me.”

    There’s still plenty of bad blood with Martinez, Vanderpump and her husband Ken Todd, who he said are in a pattern of “lying and viciousness” and noted that “if lying and betrayal were crimes, Lisa ​and Ken would’ve been deported long ago.”

    Lest anyone think Martinez is on Glanville’s side, the former on-screen personality said the controversy magnet secured her place on the show via an “entirely scripted lie” that he knew her from the modeling circuit, and that once her foot was firmly in the door, he “was kicked to the curb” after running Vanderpump afoul.

    After helping her snag the coveted spot on the show, Martinez said he was hoping Glanville would go to bat for him, but she didn’t.

    “At the time I was furious,” he told Radar. “I’d just been betrayed and fired because of Lisa’s​ vicious lies. I was naïve; expecting Brandi to do the right thing and support me, as I had supported her. Instead, she dropped me like a hot potato.

    “In hindsight, I’m O.K. with it because I know Lisa forced Brandi to cut me off … I’m happier than ever, following my dreams, far away from the scripted back-stabbing on which Lisa has built her ‘brand.’”

    Martinez, who said the show has “lost its way,” didn’t have much nice to say about the newer cast members either, calling Yolanda Foster “boring” and Carlton Gebbia “creepy.”
    The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
    airs Mondays at 8/7c on Bravo.

    'RHOBH' Cedric Martinez Says He 'Was Not Deported,' Calls Out Lisa Vanderpump AND Brandi Glanville For Engineering His Exit From The Show | Radar Online
    Last edited by dougie; February 25th, 2014 at 07:16 PM.
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  14. #989
    Elite Member sprynkles's Avatar
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    Has anyone else noticed how Yolanda polices what her daughter the model eats? On last weeks episode there was cake at a party. Yo's daughter tried to get a small piece and Yolanda took it from her and cut it into like a 1 inch square. I've seen a couple of other instances but thought it might have been a fluke. I wonder if Yolanda has eating issues. I know she says she does these cleanses because she has lyme disease. But I wonder if she's projecting her issues with food onto her daughter. I have heard her sound a little insecure when she talks about holding onto her marriage. She makes it sound like she is worried her husband will dump her for someone younger any minute now.

    Meryl doesn't even try anymore. She just calls Lanvin and asks for curtains with a belt.~Bitter
    Can we interest you in Leann Rimes? She has a nice little cadre of fans you'd probably enjoy.~ Pecan Pie

  15. #990
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sprynkles View Post
    Has anyone else noticed how Yolanda polices what her daughter the model eats? On last weeks episode there was cake at a party. Yo's daughter tried to get a small piece and Yolanda took it from her and cut it into like a 1 inch square. I've seen a couple of other instances but thought it might have been a fluke. I wonder if Yolanda has eating issues. I know she says she does these cleanses because she has lyme disease. But I wonder if she's projecting her issues with food onto her daughter. I have heard her sound a little insecure when she talks about holding onto her marriage. She makes it sound like she is worried her husband will dump her for someone younger any minute now.
    I noticed. And when Gigi took that ONE BITE, Yo said "that's enough"... I believe she IS insecure but I think a lot of that is due to the ex husband cheating on her. I mean, fer christ's sake, she refers to David as "My King"! ehm, wtf is that about???
    garysgirl1999 likes this.
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