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Thread: First negative review of The Dark Knight by a retard

  1. #1
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Cool First negative review of The Dark Knight by a retard

    In the new Batman film, “The Dark Knight,” many things go boom. Cars explode, jails and hospitals are blown up, bombs are put in people’s mouths and sewn into their stomachs. There’s a chase scene in which cars pile up and climb over other cars, and a truck gets lassoed by Batman (his one neat trick) and tumbles through the air like a diver doing a back flip. Men crash through windows of glass-walled office buildings, and there are many fights that employ the devastating martial-arts system known as the Keysi Fighting Method. Christian Bale, who plays Bruce Wayne (and Batman), spent months training under the masters of the ferocious and delicate K.F.M. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you a thing about it, because the combat is photographed close up, in semidarkness, and cut at the speed of a fifteen-second commercial. Instead of enjoying the formalized beauty of a fighting discipline, we see a lot of flailing movement and bodies hitting the floor like grain sacks.

    All this ruckus is accompanied by pounding thuds on the soundtrack, with two veteran Hollywood composers (Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard) providing additional bass-heavy stomps in every scene, even when nothing is going on. At times, the movie sounds like two excited mattresses making love in an echo chamber. In brief, Warner Bros. has continued to drain the poetry, fantasy, and comedy out of Tim Burton’s original conception for “Batman” (1989), completing the job of coarsening the material into hyperviolent summer action spectacle. Yet “The Dark Knight” is hardly routine—it has a kicky sadism in scene after scene, which keeps you on edge and sends you out onto the street with post-movie stress disorder. And it has one startling and artful element: the sinister and frightening performance of the late Heath Ledger as the psychopathic murderer the Joker. That part of the movie is upsetting to watch, and, in retrospect, both painful and stirring to think about.

    “The Dark Knight,” which was directed by Christopher Nolan (who also made “Batman Begins”) and written by Nolan and his brother Jonathan, is devoted to perversity. Bruce Wayne, attempting to bring order to Gotham City, has instead provoked the thugs. The mob is running rampant, and they’ve infiltrated the police department. The Joker, who doesn’t care for money and wants only the power to sow chaos, intimidates everyone, including the gangsters. Wayne and the noble Lieutenant Jim Gordon (Gary Oldman) decide to get behind the new D.A., Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), and set him up as Gotham’s crime-fighting hero. Batman even thinks of retiring. But the Joker won’t let him; he needs him, as someone to play with. An anarchist by philosophy, the Joker uses terrorist methods (bombs, bombs, bombs), and he has an enormous advantage over the principled Batman—he’s ruthless. So the Joker taunts and giggles, and Batman can only extend his wings.

    It’s a workable dramatic conflict, but only half the team can act it. Christian Bale has been effective in some films, but he’s a placid Bruce Wayne, a swank gent in Armani suits, with every hair in place. He’s more urgent as Batman, but he delivers all his lines in a hoarse voice, with an unvarying inflection. It’s a dogged but uninteresting performance, upstaged by the great Ledger, who shambles and slides into a room, bending his knees and twisting his neck and suddenly surging into someone’s face like a deep-sea creature coming up for air. Ledger has a fright wig of ragged hair; thick, running gobs of white makeup; scarlet lips; and dark-shadowed eyes. He’s part freaky clown, part Alice Cooper the morning after, and all actor. He’s mesmerizing in every scene. His voice is not sludgy and slow, as it was in “Brokeback Mountain.” It’s a little higher and faster, but with odd, devastating pauses and saturnine shades of mockery. At times, I was reminded of Marlon Brando at his most feline and insinuating. When Ledger wields a knife, he is thoroughly terrifying (do not, despite the PG-13 rating, bring the children), and, as you’re watching him, you can’t help wondering—in a response that admittedly lies outside film criticism—how badly he messed himself up in order to play the role this way. His performance is a heroic, unsettling final act: this young actor looked into the abyss.

    Parts of “The Dark Knight” were shot with IMAX cameras, and if you see the movie on one of those enormously tall screens you will feel, as Batman swoops down from a building at night, as if you were falling into a canyon. It’s a giddy thrill—bring Dramamine. The rest of the movie, photographed by Wally Pfister, is sharp and clear, with shots of Gotham (i.e., Chicago) in glistening night splendor, and plentiful use of vast modernist interiors with slab floors. Yet I can’t rate “The Dark Knight” as an outstanding piece of craftsmanship. “Batman Begins” was grim and methodical, and this movie is grim and jammed together. The narrative isn’t shaped coherently to bring out contrasts and build toward a satisfying climax. “The Dark Knight” is constant climax; it’s always in a frenzy, and it goes on forever. Nothing is prepared for, and people show up and disappear without explanation; characters are eliminated with a casual nod. There are episodes that are expensively meaningless (a Hong Kong vignette, for instance), while crucial scenes are truncated at their most interesting point—such as the moment in which the disfigured Joker confronts a newly disfigured Harvey Dent (a visual sick joke) and turns him into a vicious killer. The thunderous violence and the music jack the audience up. But all that screw-tightening tension isn’t necessarily fun. “The Dark Knight” has been made in a time of terror, but it’s not fighting terror; it’s embracing and unleashing it—while making sure, with proper calculation, to set up the next installment of the corporate franchise.

    Past Shock: The Current Cinema: The New Yorker
    So, so what I got from that was:

    1) I'm an idiot and sat in the front row in an imax theatre and couldnt see shit

    2) If the movie isn't like Tim Burton's Batman then it's crap.

    This guy also said Hancock was brilliant. Go fig.
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  2. #2
    Elite Member yanna's Avatar
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    I read it and I don't think the guy is a retard. I understand what he's saying about some movies where there is a constant climax and it can get tiring. I haven't seen the film and probably will but something tells me I might not like it if it is like this guy describes it.

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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    98% of the other reviews have called it nothing short of spectacular.. and this guy is whining because he's trying to compare it to Burton's Batman.. which it isn't supposed to be. That's what he wanted to see, but didn't get to.

    Frankly, I don't think he even "gets" Nolan's version.
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    Elite Member Ravenna's Avatar
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    More like 90% There are 6 splats on the Tomatometer. But this was hardly a devastating review. It doesn't sound like he thinks is a bad film, he's just not terribly enthused. And I agree with Yanna: films in constant climax can be tiring. I still expect to like the film, but that kind of thing is not for everyone.

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    Elite Member Sarzy's Avatar
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    I think the review was fine. He said why he didn't like it but still praised performances worthy of praise. Just because someone doesn't like the film it doesn't make them a retard. I think his review will probably be more spot on than most. This film is getting so much hype, that it makes me think it'll be a let down.

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    Agree about the hype. If Heath Ledger wasn't dead this this would be just another Batman movie. Yawn.
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    Elite Member CherryDarling's Avatar
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    Eh, there's always gonna be a few negative reviews here and there. I'll still see it, multiple times.
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    Elite Member aabbcc's Avatar
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    I am very glad to hear that it isn't like the crap Tim Burton churns out. I hate that guy.

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    A*O
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    Agree that Tim Burton's movies all look the same. It was a fresh new approach in Edward Scissorhands but for God's sake Tim, get some fucking LIGHTING already.
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    Hit By Ban Bus! Lily's Avatar
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    I don't think David Denby is the New Yorker's best film critic...Anthony Lane is. Lane has a better sense of irony and humor and is more open-minded about things.

    Denby DOES say Ledger is brilliant in it, but concludes that the movie itself is loud and boomy.

    Still, even in a negative review, it seems Ledger's performance is not to be missed.

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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    I've read the rest of the negative reviews, and they all have the same thing in common.. the constant whining retread of "It's not Tim Burton's Batman therefore it isn't good."

    His Batman wasn't that great either. Stylistically it was fantastic, but the plot was idiotic. Joker poisoning people with hygiene products? Oh noes.

    They also claim this one is 'too dark, gritty and grim"... frankly, it's BATMAN. That's how it's supposed to be. Dark, brooding, nihilistic.. that's the environment Gotham is, or was supposed to be as envisioned by Bob Kane.

    Frankly, I found the Nolan's first Batman pretty refreshing in that it treated the subject matter with adult seriousness.. and if this one is even MORE dark, gritty and serious then so much the better.

    I get the suspicion that the people reviewing it negatively didn't want that.. they wanted a Butonesque summer popcorn flick with some wackiness thrown in, and what they got was much more dark than they could handle.
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    Elite Member Sweetie's Avatar
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    Burton's Batman movies are just cartoonish.
    Clearly if someone like's Burton's take they aren't going to like the new one's. It's two completely different styles of making movies.

    I prefer the new ones.

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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    They aren't as cartoonish as Schumacher's.. omg i'm glad that schlock is over with.
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    Elite Member yanna's Avatar
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    Schumacher's should be destroyed. I saw some of Batman Forever and that was the first time I fell asleep in a movie theatre. I just had to escape the crapness somehow.

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