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Thread: Rant: Gay short films

  1. #1
    Elite Member Mr. Authority's Avatar
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    Default Rant: Gay short films

    Here's a rant I did for a another forum I'm on. It's so good that I decided to post it here. Tell me what you guys think.
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    Recently I changed my cable package from Comcast to AT&T (like choosing between two evils but I disgress) and I noticed that LOGO was part of the lineup. If ya don't know, LOGO is a channel aimed to the GLBT community. Well anyway I watched a couple of shows on there (The Big Gay Sketch Show and The Click List:Best in Short Film) and I was kinda unimpressed. I checked out their website (logoonline.com) and I saw that they had a short film list from the Click List. Since I was bored I went ahead and watched maybe 15 short films within less than an 2 hour.s Here's where my rant starts.

    Is it just me or do short films fall into 3 categories? Seriously they must fall into these 3:
    1.Campy and Overly Stereotypical
    2.Depressing and Masochistic
    3.Sexual and Slutty

    I mean really now, I know that some of the people who made the short films featured on LOGO are amatuers, but do they have to make something that fits the 3 criteria I just posted? And why is it that most of them have this aura of pretentious snobbery that overwhelms me? Why?

    Well anyway I'm going to pick out 3 of the shorts I watched and why I did'nt like them:

    1.The Incredible Dyke (The Click List: Best in Short Film | The Incredible Dyke | Logo Online))

    -Okay well what is the point of this? The lesbian gets mad and turns into a female version of the Hulk. Okay. Is the point of the short to show that if you get a lesbian mad she'll turn into a monster that wears plaid and has a mullet? What the fuck that is so lame. Not to mention the mean lesbians in the short suck at acting.

    2. (I actually picked 2 shorts for this one) 2a. Companionist (The Click List: Best in Short Film | Companionist | Logo Online))

    -Depressing. That's all I got out of it. I understand that this piece of crap short is supposed to display a gay man's want of a companion and it's surely a realistic thing for most gay men. But really, don't we gay guys deal with that depression alot already? Why do we need to have a 2min+ short to tell us the obvious? I would'nt show this to a gay guy who was in a deep depression cuz he would surely lose his will to live. ugh

    2b. Dare (The Click List: Best in Short Film | Dare | Logo Online)

    -Aahhh a classic! The gay loner guy somehow has the hot straight jock over to his place and look! Alcohol! Cuz surely we gays can convert the jocks with a little bubbly! *rolleyes*
    Anyway we see some experimentation going on here in this short which is surely realistic. But what I hate the most about these kinds of shorts involving a gay guy hooking up with a straight guy is that it never ends well. As we seen when the gay loner gets hit in the nose and falls in the swimming pool. So what was the point of the story? That when you get a straight guy tipsy and he makes passes at you it's automatically you're fault and you should get hit in the nose and fall in a swimming pool? Okie-dokie.

    Fucking depression is kicking in.

    3.HitchCocked (The Click List: Best in Short Film | Dare | Logo Online)

    -Here we have a parody of the Psycho shower scene in it involves a hookup of 2 gay guys. Now I have nothing wrong with sexuality and men naked (I welcome it ) HOWEVER! Most of these kind of sexual shorts have really bad acting and really bad actors! Like here we have the 2 guys that act so damn bad that I could'nt grasp how anyone would vote for this crap to air on TV. Plus there was really no enlightment or message on online hookups. Overall it was a waste of time.
    Oh and how ironic that the guy who "works out" has an average body and the other guy is hotter than him.

    So yeah I don't see how anyone could like the above mentioned shorts. They all suck with their concepts and plots and messages. Just bad. However I'll admit that there was a small number of shorts that I liked which I'll post.......below!

    41 Sekunden (The Click List: Best in Short Film | Dare | Logo Online)
    Short and sweet. 2 guys kissing for 41 seconds. Not alot of bullshit or sluttiness, just 2 hot guys kissing and it's beleivable

    JO FM (The Click List: Best in Short Film | Dare | Logo Online)
    *gasp* A short that has a message about conforming to what a corporation wants. It's more of a social short than one for the GLBT community, but I like it because it could bring alot of people to what the message is and because it does'nt have that air of artsy fartsy-ness that I can't stand. That and because the black-haired chick so reminds me of Jo from the Facts of Life. lol

    Out Now (The Click List: Best in Short Film | Out Now | Logo Online)
    Yeah there is some depressing shit in this one....but again it's handled better than some of the crap that I hated. It has a message of tolerance, hypocrisy, and high school. Plus there are alot of hot German boys in it and a happy ending. Shorts need more hot German boys and happy endings.

    I should do rants more often. heh

  2. #2
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Where's the gay action movie?
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  3. #3
    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    Where's the gay action movie?
    I think it is time for you to make one Grimm.

    How about "The Assault and destruction of the Westboro Baptist Church and the subsequent gassing and burning of the corpses, and the plowing of the ground with salt and heavy metals so nothing would ever liive or grow there again" ???
    Don't slap me, cause I'm not in the mood!

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