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Thread: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

  1. #1
    Gold Member haggard's Avatar
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    Default Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    Opens this friday. Who's excited?? I'm excited...

    Johnny Depp once again as Jack Sparrow 'Nuff said...

  2. #2
    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    Haven't seen it yet. Did find this review on CNN.COM>
    http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Movi...tes/index.html

    EW review: 'Pirates' a Bermuda Triangle of bad
    Arrrgh! Sequel a wild ride that leads nowhere
    By Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Entertainment Weekly



    Thursday, July 6, 2006; Posted: 2:22 p.m. EDT (18:22 GMT)

    (Entertainment Weekly) -- I was wrong to be so harsh on "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" when it steamed into port three years ago.

    The original is a thing of balletic grace, theatrical richness of character, and self-effacing economy of action when compared with the shapeless, weightless, endless "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest." The sequel is a version 2.0 that, in its final minutes, portends a future 3.0 of such necessarily staggering, ostentatious extravagance as to bankrupt all but the most iron-walleted of Hollywood producers.

    Yes indeed, "Pirates" 2.0 is a theme ride, if by ride you mean a hellish contraption into which a ticket holder is strapped, overstimulated but unsatisfied, and unable to disengage until the operator releases the restraining harness.

    The barely intelligible plot hardly matters, except insofar as young sweethearts Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) are once again thwarted from, as they say in classic pirate movies, getting it on. This time what stands between the two photogenic romantic leads is bluster from a new villainous British prig-in-a-wig, some twitty adult who demands that Will do some impossible thing or another to earn his freedom.

    Meanwhile, Jack (the louche weirdness now ratcheted up by the one-of-a-kind Mr. Depp so that jumpin' Jack is an exotic "Cage aux Folles" bird of even fancier lip twitches, wrist curls, and rouged feathers) owes a debt to the underworldly lord of the waterlogged, Davy Jones (Bill Nighy). And Jones commands a ship of dead fools disfigured with pulsating, curling, slimy goiters and squid-like protuberances.

    This army of the deep suggests the very picture of ick by teen standards, conjured through the very fanciest of special effects; the clattering skeletons of the original "Pirates" look positively minimalist by comparison.

    Anyway, as Jack, Will, and Elizabeth work cooperatively, the makers of "Dead Man's Chest" hurl obstacles in the trio's way with the tenacity -- and undifferentiated agitation -- of shipboard monkeys. Clash after calamity after jokey mishap ensues, with time enough for many of the original secondary players to cash their own paychecks.

    But this is where the cheat between sensation and satisfaction comes in, a substitution only likely to become more commonplace as the "Pirates" franchise becomes the very model of modern studio brand extension.

    Without character, where's the consequence? Without consequence, where's the joy? Without an artistic stake in eliciting joy (or sadness, or concern, or something other than a glazed giggle at Depp's finery), there's nothing to keep producer Jerry Bruckheimer, director Gore Verbinski, and their screenwriting galleymates from piling on another big false ending, and another, and another, "Caribbean" without end, until a pummeled audience begs for a toilet break and, for mercy's sake, a real conclusion.

    Discounting adrenaline rush, fright, nausea, and relief as evidence of dramatic effect, there are no consequences in a theme-park ride: You get on, you get jiggled, you get off. Maybe you even ask for another go-round, because it feels so good when the jiggling stops.

    The difference is, a ride runs a few minutes, while "Dead Man's Chest" cranks for what feels like an infernal eternity.

    EW Grade: D

    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

    ***** celeb

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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    A D? Yikes...

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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    That's not good at all. However, I'll still see the movie to check it out for
    myself.
    Scariest Halloween mask ever > > >

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    Gold Member haggard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    I never really agree with what critics say most of the time anyway...and johnny depp is enough for me to go see this movie. I mean, I saw "Sleepy Hollow" in the theater...I think that says it all about me and johnny depp

    ***EDIT***
    Saw it tonight and I have to say it was a good movie...not enough Jack Sparrow for my tastes, and they did have a cliffhanger sort of ending, but it was a good movie none the less.

    I'd say if you're a fan of the first, you'll like this one, but if you were only so-so with your feelings on the first, you should probably wait for DVD...
    Last edited by haggard; July 7th, 2006 at 05:30 AM.

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    Gold Member ralphycnan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    Am I the only one who hated the first movie?

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    Elite Member MrsMarsters's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    It doesn't look good at all..last year I was so excited..now after seeing the commericals..just seems bleh.
    Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable.

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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    I'm excited about seeing this one. Won't know if I like it til I see it. I never take a critic's review seriously. I have my own opinion, thank you!

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    Elite Member sherbear905's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    Jack Sparrow was, of course, the best part of the movie, but his screen time might only total about 15 minutes. Davy Jones and his crew were pretty interesting, with great special effects, but would have been even better without what felt like hours of "battle scenes".

    Waaaaaaay too long of a movie! If the theater had not been so crowded, I would have probably fallen asleep.....

    Kinda neat though to see so many people into this movie. Our theater had people dressed as pirates camping out, and "pirate nerds" so excited about the movie's debut.

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    Super Moderator NoDayButToday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    Seriously, only 15 minutes of Jack? Ugh, previews made it seem like he was a big part again

  11. #11
    Gold Member haggard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    yeah thats what I was disappointed about...the previews make it seem like jack sparrow fest, but the movie mostly focuses on will and elizabeth...

  12. #12
    Super Moderator NoDayButToday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    That's so disappointing. I'll still see it (but probably next weekend or the middle of the week, I'm not fighting crowds for it), but I wanted to see more Jack

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    Elite Member Mr. Authority's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    Jack's part was pretty small compared to the first movie. Most of the movie spent time on Will and Elizabeth, and if it was'nt focused on them, it would focus on Davy Jones. The movie was okay, but it was dull in alot of parts.

    Also, is it just me or does Orlando seem lucky? I mean in a sense that he gets these good parts in movies but does'nt act well in them.

  14. #14
    Hit By Ban Bus! macabre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man\'s Chest

    He justs stands there and looks pretty, he is the male piece of eye-candy.

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    SVZ
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    Default Re: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest

    but he's fucking hideous!!! HUGE nose and weird misshapen jaw, bah.

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