Results 1 to 5 of 5
Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By sputnik

Thread: Your brain cannot handle Hitlar, a movie about Hitlerís evil Pakistani gangster son

  1. #1
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007

    Default Your brain cannot handle Hitlar, a movie about Hitlerís evil Pakistani gangster son

    Your brain cannot handle Hitlar, a movie about Hitlerís evil Pakistani gangster son

    Have you ever thought to yourself, "Gee, didn't The Boys From Brazil really lack catchy disco numbers?" Well, you're in luck, you hypothetical (and presumably insane) alternate history enthusiast!

    The 1980s Pakistani action flick Hitlar presents a parallel universe in which der FŁhrer escaped Germany after World War II only to settle down in South Asia. Once there, the deposed tyrant threw his racial dogma to the wind and sired a son (actor Mustafa Qureshi, with swishing Teutonic locks).

    The son of Hitler ó the eponymous Hitlar ó spends his days terrorizing a small town, using his musical sting to petrify his enemies (hear it in the video below), and conversing with paintings of his dead Nazi father. As the blog Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill explains of this particular plot point:

    [In] case there is any doubt in your mind as to whether it is really that Hitler that's being referred to, there are the numerous, swastika-featuring portraits of the man himself that adorn our villain's lair, which essentially serve as the filmmakers' way of saying, "Yes, we totally went there."

    And that villain, of course, is Hitlar, the ill-fitting Shirley-Temple-meets-Louis-XIV wig wearing son of Hitler, who, as a shouty prologue narration informs us, fled Germany following the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki (by Germany, apparently) and found happiness in the arms of a Pakistani woman somewhere in the Punjab [...] Old Adolf appears to have passed on sometime between then and the events of this film, but that does not prevent young Hitlar from seeking the counsel of his dad, whom he refers to as "Master," via frequent soliloquies directed toward those aforementioned portraits.

    Hitlar's nemesis is played by the late Pakistani megastar Sultan Rahi, whose protagonist is marked for death after defying the evil strongman. How does Hitlar attempt to dispose of the hero? By recruiting an army of bears to slay him. Yes, the son of Hitler has the power to command ursine warriors. In this reality, the history books seemingly double as Mad Libs.

    Watch the entire film (in Punjabi, sadly without subtitles) here, and you can read more about Hitlar at Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill. For more low-budget Pakistani cinema craziness, see that one time Salman Rushdie was disintegrated by some flying, laser-firing Korans. Also, Hitlar is not be confused with the 2011 Punjabi romance Hero Hitler in Love, which has absolutely nothing to do with Adolf Hitler.

    Your brain cannot handle Hitlar, a movie about Hitler's evil Pakistani gangster son

    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

  2. #2
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007


    However you spell it, evil is evil.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  3. #3
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008


    Classic! Someone needs to subtitle these gems so they can reach a larger audience.
    As Canadian as possible under the circumstances


    "What's traitors, precious?" -- President Gollum

  4. #4
    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    out where the buses don't run


    No, my brain can't handle Hitlar, but that "Salman Rushdie being disintegrated by flying, laser-firing Korans" flick sounds intriguing.

  5. #5
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    fellow traveller


    omg this sounds epic. wait til quentin tarantino hears about this and starts working on his very own homage to hitlar, starring benicio del toro in a blonde wig.
    nancydrew likes this.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 18
    Last Post: March 18th, 2010, 04:00 PM
  2. American Gangster
    By Beeyotch in forum Television and Movies
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: January 18th, 2008, 09:29 AM
  3. Diane Lane @ American Gangster premiere, NYC (10/19/07)
    By DitaPage* in forum Latest Photos
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: November 3rd, 2007, 10:27 PM
  4. Bullet in the Brain - Extremely powerful short movie
    By SVZ in forum Television and Movies
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: December 21st, 2006, 02:31 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts