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Thread: Canada's Jersey Shore Copycat Will Piss Off Every Ethnic Group at Once

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    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Default Canada's Jersey Shore Copycat Will Piss Off Every Ethnic Group at Once

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-kpzWbv2Tc[/youtube]


    Oh, Canada. They're always so smug and convinced they can outdo the U.S. But when it came time to formulate a Canadian version of Jersey Shore, they got all PC, casting people of different ethnic backgrounds. Know what? It's worse.

    Lake Shore, the least important sociological experiment of our time, follows the lives of eight wild kids in Toronto as they go to clubs, get boozy and hook up. But unlike its American counterpart which pissed off Italian-American groups by depicting the lifestyle of Italian(ish) "guidos," Lake Shore chose participants from a variety of different backgrounds. It's meant to show what a vibrant and diverse place Toronto is—because we honestly thought that everyone who lived there was made of snow—but it really just allows us to make horrible stereotypes about all sorts of different ethnic groups.


    Here are the castmembers:

    Sibel, the Turk: She actually says, "I'm not racist. I hate everyone equally—especially Jewish people." An honor to her people.


    Joey, the Italian: He's a construction worker and calls himself the "No. 1 WOP." What, does Jersey Shore have the copyright on the word "guido"?


    Anni Mei, the Vietnamese: Asian girls hate to see themselves depicted as cartoonish creatures that giggle. Oh wait...


    Tommy Hollywood, the Czech: I don't know anything about Czechs, but apparently they all hail from Doucheland.


    Robyn, the Jew: No, she isn't a walking, loud-mouthed Jew joke at all!


    Salem, the Lebanese: They should call him two-fer because he's both Lebanese and (probably) gay.


    Karolina, the Pole: How do you get a one-armed Karolina out of a tree? Wave.


    Downtown D, the Albanian: I don't know that I've ever met an Albanian, but now I don't want to.



    Congrats, Canada. You're just as horrible as the rest of us.


    Canada's Jersey Shore Copycat Will Piss Off Every Ethnic Group at Once
    It's no longer a dog whistle, it's a fucking trombone


    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


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    Hit By Ban Bus! rockchick's Avatar
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    I hate all the shows of this type.

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Michael K's version.

    CANADA! All you had to do was ask and we'd gladly export our own gang of permanently drunken whores for you to laugh at on TV, but nooooooo you had to go and cook up your own pot of lukewarm STD stew using homegrown and transplanted ingredients plucked from your gutters.

    Instead of doing the right thing by devoting a reality show to the insane antics of Randy and Evi Quaid, Canada has decided to whip up their own Jersey Shore called Lake Shore. It's pretty much like Jersey Shore except with a lot more "Ehs" and when one of the whores is rushed to the emergency room because his anus wart exploded against a jacuzzi jet, he won't have to shout, "Shit, but I don't have insurance!" Here's the cast in the order they're introduced on that mess of a sizzle reel above:

    Sible, "The Turk" - Most likely to get her exquisitely drawn brows smeared by the fist an angry bitch she hurls a racial slur at. Also most likely to get mistaken for Lauren Conrad at least twice.

    Joey, "The Italian" - Most likely to think he's going to get the most ass in the house but will end up getting no ass in the house (see The Situation). Also dude looks like the third runner-up in a Danny Wood look-alike contest in Chernobyl.

    Anni Mei, "The Vietnamese" - Most likely to carry the smallest bag when she moves into the house since all she wears are bras, panties and oversized belts. Also bitch will touch up her make-up before she goes to bed and wake up an hour before the cameras roll to touch that shit up again. She'll call the police when Sible dumps her make-up box into the hot tub during a fight.

    Tommy Hollywood, "The Czech" - Most likely to get caught eating Salem's ass in the middle of the night and will say he thought he was licking on Sible's cooch. He'll blame it all on the sake bomb he downed before bed. Also he totally sprays Axe on his no-no.

    Robyn, "The Jew" - Most likely to get kicked out of the house for pouring a hot pot of poutine down Sible's Juicy Couture sweat pants.

    Salem, "The Lebanese" - Most likely to get into a huge fight with his main fruit fly in the house Robyn and then he'll get revenge by fucking her boyfriend in the diary room. Salem is all about theatrics, so he'll tell her to sniff his nalgas so she knows what betrayal smells like. SNAPS ALL AROUND.

    Karolina, "The Pole" - Most likely to bone the entire cast and crew. ERR'BODY. She'll have a couple of pregnancy scares and her signature line "Did I suck your dick last night?" will end up on t-shirts, lunch boxes and thongs. In case you couldn't tell, she's my favorite.

    Downtown D, "The Albanian" - Most to likely to cry on the phone to his mommy when a club refuses to let his ass in.

    It's going to be all boozing, all dicking and all fighting. Rinse in a sink full of dirty dishes, wipe on your roommate's jizz rag and repeat! Welcome to the pieces of trash club, Canada!
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    They need to drop Grimm in there and let him go to work on them. That'd be a show worth watching.
    I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. Hunter S Thompson

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    Elite Member Mr. Authority's Avatar
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    Oh Canada. :/

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    Elite Member blissfullyunaware's Avatar
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    Why didn't Grimm audition? HHmmm? LOVE TO SEE IT! gotta agree with kittylady
    My goal is to be happy with my life.

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    my friend went to the audition as a bartender...his comments were

    "i've never seen so much gynecomastia in one room!"

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    Elite Member VenusInFauxFurs's Avatar
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    When your daughter plays "House," she pretends to be an annoying doctor with a pill-addiction and a limp.

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    Elite Member SuriCruise's Avatar
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    Karolina looks so much like a cross between Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie.

    Damn I want to watch this show. I lap this shit up.

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    Elite Member hustle4alivin's Avatar
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    This show will be trashtastic.

    I'm surprised there is no one of West Indian descent on this show considering Toronto has large Jamaican and Trinidadian communities.
    Posted from my iPhone

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    Elite Member yanna's Avatar
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    I was surprised there was no Greek but then I saw that one of the producers has a Greek name. No wonder he wouldn't cast any in this show.

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    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    ya know, Guido is actually an Italian first name; i dont like how its been raped and turned into a negative slant on a stereotype. I was gonna name our dog Guido before we picked a cuter Italian name instead

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    Yeah, this show might set us back a few years with race relations. We don't want Stormfront to gain strength and numbers.

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    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    I lie awake at night worrying about Stormfront.

    The only groups that scare me more are the People's Front of Judea, the Judean People's Front, the Judean Popular People's Front.
    It's no longer a dog whistle, it's a fucking trombone


    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


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    Elite Member aabbcc's Avatar
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    I love my country and I am a proud Canadian, BUT ...

    Canada completely sucks when it comes to movies and television. I hate that they leech off successful shows and totally fork them up with crappy Canadian versions. They've ruined Come Dine With Me and are currently in the process of mutilating Top Chef. They've polluted Food Network with a bunch of talentless annoying gobwads. They need to just STOP!

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