Hilarious! These are just quotes from the past week alone! And they wonder why MSNBC has such shitty ratings????

From Jossip.com:

Every weeknight, cable news gives us so much to choose from: O'Reilly, Cosby, King, Carlson, Matthews, Van Susteren. But so many options isn't just a time suck — it's also perfect fodder for a listicle of medocrity.

So we sicced Intern Wendy on the primetime arena of talking heads to score some entertaining quotables that remind us: When in doubt, choose QVC.

• "Doctor, have you taken a look at these women they he would marry? They all — I think there were four of them. They all look like sisters, OK? Freaky!" — Managing to find kinkiness among the corpses, Nancy Grace, Nancy Grace, Feb. 27

• "I'm collecting donations. It's beer. It's a beer fund." — A true victim of Hurricane Katrina, giving Anderson Cooper another reason to cry. Anderson Cooper 360, Feb. 27

• "Did you know that the same technology in that search for Natalee Holloway is now keeping our ports safe?" — Rita Cosby, explaining why our ports are screwed, Live and Direct, Feb. 27

• "I'm saying once you accept that marriage is no longer just between one man and one woman. Why does it have to be limited to two men or two women?" — Tucker Carlson getting his freak on, Scarborough Country, Feb. 28

• "You know, she cleans up real nice when $450 million on the line." — Joe Scarborough, not accepting that Anna Nicole Smith still wouldn't date him, Scarborough Country, Feb. 28

• "... yes, well, and you said it's attractive to women, you said?" — Why read the mystery when you can read the orgy part? Rita Cosby, talking about Dan Brown's The DaVinci Code, Live and Direct, Feb. 28

• "We Christians must help people in need, but do we have to enable them?" — Proving he still doesn't get that "Love Thy Neighbor" stuff, Bill O'Reilly, The O'Reilly Factor, March 1

• "372 million pornographic Web pages; 72 million people visit porn sites each year." — Showing she's the go to girl for porn stats, Rita Cosby, Live and Direct, March 1