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Thread: How to make a Nicholas Sparks movie

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    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Default How to make a Nicholas Sparks movie

    Nicholas Sparks

    Nicholas Sparks stated that he has no contemporaries. No one else does what he does. He writes unpredictable love stories, not trashy run-of-the-mill romance novels like Shakespeare.



    Just The Facts

    1. Nicholas Sparks is an author who churns out about one romance novel a year.
    2. All of these books are almost immediately made into movies.
    3. All of these books are the same book.
    Nicholas Sparks on Nicholas Sparks

    In a recent interview with USA Today, Nicholas Sparks criticized Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Ernest Hemingway, and romance novelists in general for essentially writing the same story over and over:
    "(Romances) are all essentially the same story: You've got a woman, she's down on her luck, she meets the handsome stranger who falls desperately in love with her, but he's got these quirks, she must change him, and they have their conflicts, and then they end up happily ever after."
    But he claims that he is not a romance novelist. He is a fiction writer who writes love stories.
    "You read a romance because you know what to expect. You read a love story because you don't know what to expect."
    Really Nicholas Sparks? Really?


    and there's more at:Nicholas Sparks | Cracked.com
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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    i fucking hate nicholas sparks. HATE.
    and the notebook is one of my top 3 most hated movies of all time. how that thing is so popular is a mystery to me.
    i loathe this idiot. loathe and hate and detest and any other stronger synonym that expresses in one word just how much contempt i have for this hack and how hard i want to bash his teeth in with a rusty hammer.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

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    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    You're holding back.
    "If you are not outraged, then you are not paying attention," Heather Heyer's facebook quote.

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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    i know. i need to stop being such a damn lady all the time.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

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    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    But I loved the Notebook!! It was romantic, had great actors and was well done!

    The other two I never felt compelled to see because they looked kind of crappy and thrown together exactly like the formula described up there. Also, isn't he responsible for that latest craptacular Miley Cyrus vehicle? The Last Song. That he wrote specifically with her in mind as the star? Yeah, that's pretty unforgiveable and completely cancels out any professional credibility he may have had.

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    Elite Member DeChayz's Avatar
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    My family lives in the same town as Sparks. He is well-known as a douchebag - arrogant and obnoxious to everyone. The whole town hates him, but I guess he doesn't care that he's universally detested, because he's a rich asshole.

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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    "The only question remains is who will get cancer and die."
    KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GOD DAMNED HONEY!!!!!!!!!!

    Come on, let's have lots of drinks.

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    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    i fucking hate nicholas sparks. HATE.
    and the notebook is one of my top 3 most hated movies of all time. how that thing is so popular is a mystery to me.
    i loathe this idiot. loathe and hate and detest and any other stronger synonym that expresses in one word just how much contempt i have for this hack and how hard i want to bash his teeth in with a rusty hammer.
    omg, this just cracked me the hell up! wtg sput~
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    Gold Member Little Goon's Avatar
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    I have a sad story about the Nicholas Sparks' book called "The NoteBook."

    Ok, so I checked the book out from the library and it was really bad. Then, when I was gone from the house, my puppy chewed on the book. So, I had to buy the "Notebook," one of the worst books I ever read. When I got back from the library, I threw the book into the trash. Later on that same day, my roommate at the time saw the book in the garbage and fished it out, horrifed that I had thrown away a book. Then she read the book, after which she tracked me down and bitched at me for over an hour about how bad it was. So I was finally like, "Look, you found a book in the garbage and you're suprised that it sucked? Why did you think I threw it away? It's not like I normally throw away books."
    After she realized it was her fault for taking the book out of the garbage, we went and threw the book away together, and then we made a deal that neither one of us would ever watch or read anything that had to do with Nicholas Sparks for any reason.
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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    ^^^

    awesome.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Goon View Post
    I have a sad story about the Nicholas Sparks' book called "The NoteBook."

    Ok, so I checked the book out from the library and it was really bad. Then, when I was gone from the house, my puppy chewed on the book. So, I had to buy the "Notebook," one of the worst books I ever read. When I got back from the library, I threw the book into the trash. Later on that same day, my roommate at the time saw the book in the garbage and fished it out, horrifed that I had thrown away a book. Then she read the book, after which she tracked me down and bitched at me for over an hour about how bad it was. So I was finally like, "Look, you found a book in the garbage and you're suprised that it sucked? Why did you think I threw it away? It's not like I normally throw away books."
    After she realized it was her fault for taking the book out of the garbage, we went and threw the book away together, and then we made a deal that neither one of us would ever watch or read anything that had to do with Nicholas Sparks for any reason.


    You know I just looked up Nicolas Sparks wondering which of his works I had read. Good grief almost all of his books have been made into movies

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    Elite Member celeb_2006's Avatar
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    I actually want to see 'Dear John,' it looks pretty good.

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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    The Notebook almost made me puke. It was so shmaltzy and overwrought. Yuck.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

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    La vie en rose DitaPage*'s Avatar
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    I was terrified of saying how much I hate The Notebook and it's hype. I'm relieved I'm not ALONE, FINALLY!

    I can't stand this writer. And I never want to see another one of his movies (that aren't necessary) again. It's not like you're missing anything. Seen one, seen them all.

    @ the movie posters. That should be the first clue...

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    I got sucked in by The Notebook. It was playing on cable and I happened on it while I was channel surfing. I watched a minute of it and then changed the channel, but then felt compelled to go back and watch some more. I did everything in my power to fight watching that movie and kept switching the channel and switching back. I absolutely cannot stand Rachel McAdams and she looked like true shit in that flick, but finally I was compelled to watch that movie and cried like a fucking baby when it turned out she lost her memories.

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