Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 37

Thread: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

  1. #1
    Elite Member celeb_2006's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    13,468

    Default The Twilight Saga: New Moon

    The Twilight Saga: New Moon :: rogerebert.com :: Reviews

    Worse than being a vampire
    is being a vampire's lover


    Release Date: 2009
    Ebert Rating: *
    By Roger Ebert Nov 18, 2009


    The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still: their charisma is by Madame Tussaud. "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" takes the tepid achievement of "Twilight" (2008), guts it, and leaves it for undead. You know you're in trouble with a sequel when the word of mouth advises you to see the first movie twice instead. Obviously the characters all have. Long opening stretches of this film make utterly no sense unless you walk in knowing the first film, and hopefully both Stephanie Meyer novels, by heart. Edward and Bella spend murky moments glowering at each other and thinking, So, here we are again.

    Bella (Kristen Stewart) is still living at home with her divorced dad (Billy Burke), a cop whose disciplinary policy involves declaring her grounded for the rest of her life and then disappearing so she can jump from cliffs, haunt menacing forests, and fly to Italy so the movie can evoke the sad final death scene from--why, hold on, it's Romeo and Juliet! The very play Edward was reciting narcissistically and contemptuously in an opening scene.

    Yes, Edward (Robert Pattinson) is back in school, repeating the 12th grade for the 84th time. Bella sees him in the school parking lot, walking toward her in slow-motion, wearing one of those Edwardian Beatles jackets with a velvet collar, pregnant with his beauty. How white his skin, how red his lips. The decay of middle age may transform him into the Joker.

    Edward and the other members of the Cullen vampire clan stand around a lot with glowering skulks. Long pauses interrupt longer ones. Listen up, lads! You may be immortal, but we've got a train to catch.

    Edward leaves, because Bella was not meant to be with him. Although he's a vegetarian vampire, when she gets a paper cut at her birthday party one of his pals leaps on her like a shark on a tuna fish.

    In his absence she's befriended by Jake (Taylor Lautner), that nice American Indian boy. "You've gotten all buff!" she tells him. Yeah, real buff, and soon he's never wearing a shirt and standing outside in the winter rain as if he were--why, nothing more than a wild animal. They don't need coats like ours, remember, because God gave them theirs.

    Those not among that five percent of the movie's target audience that doesn't already know this will (spoiler) be surprised that Jake is a werewolf.

    Bella: So…you're a werewolf?
    Jake: Last time I checked.
    Bella: "Can't you find a way to...just stop?
    Jake (patiently): "It's not a lifestyle choice, Bella."

    Jake is influenced, or controlled, or something, by Sam, another member of the tribe. He's like the alpha wolf. Sam and his three friends are mostly seen in long shot, shirtless in the rain, hanging around the edges of the clearing as if hoping to dash in and pick off some fresh meat.

    Bella writes long letters to her absent vampire friend Alice (Ashley Greene), in which she does nothing to explain why she is helplessly attracted to these sinister, humorless and vain men. It can't be the sex. As I've already explained in my review of the first film, The Twilight Saga is an extended metaphor for teen chastity, in which the punishment for being deflowered I will leave to your imagination.

    The movie includes beauteous fields filled with potted flowers apparently buried hours before by the grounds crew, and nobody not clued in on the plot. Since they know it all and we know all, sitting through this experience is like driving a pickup in low gear though a sullen sea of Brylcreem.

  2. #2
    Elite Member Mr. Authority's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Royal Oak,MI
    Posts
    4,631

    Default

    If the movie makes millions (which I know it will with the Twitards) then the studios won't care about the reviews. It's already gonna make bank and then some.

  3. #3
    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Trolltopia
    Posts
    29,139

    Default

    I'm sure it's boring.
    Hello mother fucker! when you ask a question read also the answer instead of asking another question on an answer who already contain the answer of your next question!
    -Bugdoll-



  4. #4
    Elite Member DeChayz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    5,613

    Default

    Saw it, loved it. So shoot me. Twilight sucked, guess it was the director because this one was great - tons of action and not NEARLY as cheesy.

  5. #5
    Elite Member JadeStar70's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    BFE, Iowa
    Posts
    7,566

    Default

    did you go to the midnight viewing of NM? We live in a small town in Iowa, and TONS of kids were going to it early this morning. Most of these parents probably called their kids in from school today, so they could go back to bed,...lol Crazy!!

    I will be taking my 11 and 15 year old daughters to it either tonight, or Saturday afternoon. I hope there is a LOT of shirtless scenes of Taylor to keep me occupied. I can't stand the actor that plays Edward,...so I am hoping he isn't in this one as much. I guess that makes me Team Jacob.

  6. #6
    Elite Member DeChayz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    5,613

    Default

    I did, I went with my sister. Lots of people, but I was very impressed, all the young'ns behaved themselves; there was no girlish squealing at all during the movie, which as something I was dreading.
    You'll be happy, plenty of shirtless Taylor, and he did such a good job that even I was nearly Team Jacob. Nearly. Overall, the acting was very much improved from the suckfest that was Twilight, I even liked BitchFace Stewart in this one.

  7. #7
    Elite Member JadeStar70's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    BFE, Iowa
    Posts
    7,566

    Default

    I haven't read the series yet. My girls have it,...and that will be my winter reading after Christmas. I agree,...the first movie sucked, at least the acting did. But I thought the story overall was good. To bad they didn't invest more money into the movie.

    Glad to hear the acting has improved in this new movie, and I hear more money was spent this time. It should make more than enough moola to make the 3rd and 4th better yet. I thought Edward and Bella were horrible in the first movie. Those stupid stares they gave each other, and then them "trying" to portray teenage angst,....it really cracked me up...lol

  8. #8
    Hit By Ban Bus!
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Back of Beyond
    Posts
    11,082

    Default

    The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan.



    Ok, back to the review...

    edit:

    their charisma is by Madame Tussaud.



    Bella sees him in the school parking lot, walking toward her in slow-motion, wearing one of those Edwardian Beatles jackets with a velvet collar, pregnant with his beauty.



    sitting through this experience is like driving a pickup in low gear though a sullen sea of Brylcreem



    I love Ebert.

  9. #9
    Elite Member Karistiona's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Alba
    Posts
    12,628

    Default

    Just home from seeing it, I loooved it! It was far better than Twilight, I was really impressed. I, too, almost switched to Team Jacob...right up until Edward reappeared and I was thinking Jacob Who?! I heart RPattz.
    I smile because I have no idea what's going on

  10. #10
    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Sleepy night night land
    Posts
    22,886

    Default

    OK...I loved Twilight, but this, not as much. New Moon was my least favorite of the books so I wasn't surprised.

    I prefer the story between Edward and Bella and there wasn't enough of it.

  11. #11
    Elite Member sweetrebel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    northwest mississippi
    Posts
    5,576

    Default

    Saw it last night and I LOVED it! It was sooo much better than Twilight imo. I have read all the books, and this movie did seem to stay pretty true to the book.
    I feel a little pervy, but that Taylor kid is pretty hot....
    THE EASIEST WAY OUT IS THROUGH....

  12. #12
    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    10 miles from Pootie Tang
    Posts
    21,909

    Default

    The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan.
    The best opening line to a review. Ever.

  13. #13
    Elite Member dolem's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,612

    Default

    My friend worked on Twilight. She said the director was totally crazy and horrible to work for. That's a big part of the reason it was such an awful movie.

    I want to see New Moon but will probably just wait for video.

  14. #14
    Elite Member lisalucy69's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    6,584

    Default

    I took my nieces to see it tonight and i loved it. I was already Team Jacob, but this movie cemented it. I'm with you sweetrebel, for feeling a little pervy about thinking that Taylor kid is hot. My nieces loved it too. For a couple of them it was the second time seeing it since they went last night too. New Moon was my favorite of the books too. I know they aren't literary award winning material, but they entertain me and that's what matters. Bella's character was slightly less unlikeable than the first movie. And it did not hurt that there were a lot of scenes with muscle-y shirtless guys.

    Happy trails to you...until we meet again.
    I love & miss you Dad.

  15. #15
    Elite Member teforde23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    4,937

    Default

    I watched it and halfway through the movie I kept wishing that they would kill Bella. What a selfish twit. whining all the time that guys aren't talking to her. I think that the guy that played Jacob was the best actor in the movie. Team jacob all the way.

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 7
    Last Post: November 13th, 2009, 08:46 PM
  2. Twilight & New Moon: Plagiarized?!
    By twitchy2.0 in forum Books and Literature
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: April 20th, 2009, 02:58 PM
  3. Alaska's Troopergate saga: the second report implodes
    By Fluffy in forum U.S. Politics and Issues
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: November 13th, 2008, 03:40 AM
  4. Colin Farrell's Sex Tape Saga Settled
    By lovely bones in forum Gossip Archive
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: April 19th, 2006, 05:27 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •