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Thread: Turn it off!: The 50 worst announcers in sports today

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    Elite Member celeb_2006's Avatar
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    Default Turn it off!: The 50 worst announcers in sports today

    Turn it off!: The 50 worst announcers in sports today - Y! Sports Blogs - Yahoo! Sports
    Admit it. As you've sat around watching a ballgame and heard yet another announcer try to shoehorn yet another awkward phrase into the game, you've wondered, how hard could announcing be? Sitting around talking sports for four hours? That's easy! Heck, we do that all the time at the wing joint for free!
    Announcing is indeed easy to do, but extraordinarily hard to do well. You're broadcasting to an audience of millions, and you have to be both prepared and quick on your feet. The best sports announcers are storytellers, knowledgeable enough to add the perfect note to on-field action but also wise enough to know when to shut up and let the game do the talking. Guys like Vin Scully, Al Michaels and Keith Jackson are so good that you'll tune into a meaningless midseason game just to hear their voices. Yahoo! Sports has documented the top 50 of all time right here.
    But then there are ... the other guys. Guys (and ladies, let's not be sexist) who seem to forget that we're not tuning in to the Super Bowl or the World Series to hear their voices. Guys who lose all perspective and decide it's their place to lecture us. Guys who use the ballgames as their personal soapboxes and slogan testing grounds. Guys who make you glad there's a mute button. Guys who, unfortunately, stand like snide bouncers to block our access to the greatest games in sports.
    Now, let's be clear; we're not talking about announcers who simply lose track of the situation or horribly mispronounce athletes' names. No, we're focusing on the announcers whose entire public persona makes us want to kick a hole in our HDs. Deep breath, people, as we call out the culprits:
    1. Billy Packer: The man who annually managed to turn the most exciting three weeks in sports, the NCAA tournament, into a visit to your cranky grandfather's house. Griped and moaned about everything from women in sports to mid-major invitations (this, just before George Mason reached the Final Four). All credit goes to coaches; all blame goes to players. Thankfully put out to pasture with Bobby Knight. Boy, there's a joyful combo, huh?
    2. Chris Berman: The first of the truly cartoonish sports announcers, and still the worst. Has completely lost sight of the fact that he's the mouthpiece, not the attraction. His nicknaming habit, his "back-back-back," his chummy "look! I'm hanging with jocks!" repartee on set -- it all went stale in the 90s, and yet he still trots it out, week after numbing week. Go, Berman, and take Leather with you.
    3. Joe Morgan: Stubbornly refuses to admit that there's anything to the game of baseball more important than "heart." Laughs off statistics as irrelevant. Still carries grudges from his playing days. Like Bill Walton and other ex-jocks, views every player in comparison to his era -- and strangely enough, nobody ever comes close. Inspired one of the great sports blogs of this decade, but has unfortunately outlasted it.
    4. Tony Kornheiser: His schtick is that he's a regular joe in the booth there with Mike Tirico and Ron "Na-tion-al Foot-ball Leeeeague" Jaworski. And that schtick, frankly, stinks. I could hear schlubs talking about, say, how well their fantasy teams are doing if I go to the local sports bar. I like "Monday Night Football" when there's a real possibility the announcers might get into an on-air fistfight, and I can't see that ever happening -- or lasting very long -- when Kornheiser's involved.
    5. Dick Vitale: A cartoon character, but less credible -- and more annoying -- than Spongebob Squarepants. Never saw a recruiting violation he couldn't ignore. Shameless Duke homer; the evidence is indisputable.

    6. Bill Walton: Alternates between gooey praises of his era and unhinged criticism ("That's HOOOORRIBLE") of anyone who doesn't, in his mind, measure up to Magic and Bird -- in other words, everybody. Carries a lot of bitterness around for an ex-hippie Deadhead.
    7. Mike Patrick: A hyperbolic announcer who occasionally veers from praising or burying a team -- there's no middle ground -- to veer off on an unconnected rant. The most famous of these, of course, is his absentminded musing on Britney Spears during overtime of a Georgia-Alabama game. Tip for you, Mike: when even the dog can tell you've written your "off-the-cuff" one-liners days before, it's time to switch up your flow.
    8. Tim McCarver: This is an entry on a list about the worst announcers in sports. See, when you're making a list, you break it down into different categories and put spaces between the entries, so people can tell it's a list. Like this entry about Tim McCarver, Fox baseball analyst. McCarver analyzes baseball for Fox. And while he's analyzing baseball for the Fox network, he offers stunning behind-the-scenes insight, just like you're getting in this entry here. Which is part of a larger list.
    9. Joe Buck: Alternating between dull and sanctimonious, Buck is a crotchety curmudgeon trapped in a younger man's body. When he's not draining the life out of the greatest moments in modern sports, he's lecturing us on the sad state of the NFL. Summed up in this fine moment of offense at Randy Moss:

    10. Bob Costas, post-2000: A once-brilliant announcer who has devolved into caricature. Like Buck and the tweedy Bryant Gumbel, apparently sees it has his sworn duty to protect the sanctity of sport from the filthy tide of 21st century progress -- including, you know, those nasty sports blogs. One of those announcers who would love sports so much more if there were no unruly fans, surly athletes or double-dealing owners to muck it all up.

    And the rest of the bunch:
    11. Stuart Scott: Tired as this side of the pillow.
    12. Tony Siragusa: A burly, sweaty, mouthy ex-jock? Why, who wouldn't want to hear from him?
    13. Gus Johnson: Only when he's screaming five minutes into an ordinary game.
    14. Paul Maguire: Always sounds like he's about to ask you to buy the next round, and he'll "get ya back next time."
    15. Stephen A. Smith: Wants so, so badly to be the story, not cover it.
    16. Troy Aikman: Like Robin Williams, you don't notice until later that he didn't actually say anything.
    17. John Sterling: Catch-phrases flop to the ground like beached marlin; "Thaaaaaa Yankees win!" is the worst victory cry ever.
    18. Thom Brennaman: Loves him some Tebow.
    19. John Madden: Only when he's in worship-Favre mode.
    20. Emmitt Smith: Is thoroughly masticated to receive this honor.
    21. Johnny Miller
    22. Lee Corso
    23. Jim Gray
    24. Merril Hoge
    25. Digger Phelps
    26. Tiki Barber
    27. Darren Pang
    28. Dick Stockton
    29. Dick Enberg
    30. Darrell Waltrip
    31. Kelly Tilghman
    32. Mike Francesa
    33. Steve Phillips
    34. Pam Ward
    35. Shannon Sharpe
    36. Skip Bayless
    37. Warren Sapp
    38. Lamar Thomas
    39. Paul Allen
    40. Ken Harrelson
    41. Magic Johnson
    42. Chip Caray
    43. Dave Mishkin
    44. Joe Theismann
    45. Dan Dierdorf
    46. John Kruk
    47. Jenn Sterger
    48. Larry Merchant
    49. Michael Kay
    50. Lou Holtz

  2. #2
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    There is no one left!
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  3. #3
    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    Okay, how did Don Cherry (hockey announcer) miss being near the top of this list???

  4. #4
    Elite Member chartreuse's Avatar
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    the salad bowl


    yay, my faves (krukow & kuiper) aren't on there! but, they're pretty cool, so it actually would've been a shocker to see them on that list.
    white, black, puerto rican/everybody just a freakin'/good times were rollin'.

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    Elite Member angelais's Avatar
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    Jon Hamm's pants


    I don't mind Aikman as an announcer. At least he knows what he's talking about. And Madden? C'mon, who made this list? Madden is a crotchety old fart but a great announcer. Why else would he have his own video game?
    Did you know that an anagram for "Conscious Uncoupling" is "Iconic Uncool Pus Guns"? - MohandasKGanja

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    Elite Member RevellingInSane's Avatar
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    The whole CBS game day Sunday lineup stinks. I hate them. I hate them. (Repeat throughout football season.) I can't stand Berman either.

    Madden and Michaels and the Fox Sunday Game show guys are the ones who have what I want, and understanding of the game and the ability to explain the tech terms us novices don't understand.

  7. #7
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    Fuck, I didn't know there were this many sports announcers in existence! How's about a smaller list next time?
    My Posts Have Won Awards. Can Any Of You Claim The Same? -ur_next_ex

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    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    Oh man, I love Chris Berman!! At least he makes things funny..or tries.

  9. #9
    Elite Member Charmed Hour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LynnieD View Post
    Oh man, I love Chris Berman!! At least he makes things funny..or tries.
    My sister loves him too. Her most prized possession at the moment is her Chris Berman bobble head. LOL

    I hate Tim McCarver with the intensity of 10,000 burning suns. When he announced for the Mets I would secretly wish for Ralph Kiner to slap him upside the head. I rarely made it through a full game with him.

    Anyone follow the Mets? I'm loving Gary Cohen, Ron Darling and Keith Hernandez. They have the oddest conversations (thanks to Keith) but they're funny. Their love and knowledge of the game shines through in every broadcast. I also love that they bring Kiner into their booth on Sunday afternoons and just let him have free reign.

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    Elite Member Sweetie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McJag View Post
    There is no one left!
    Bob Eucker.

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    The Edge of the Annex


    Quote Originally Posted by Brookie View Post
    Okay, how did Don Cherry (hockey announcer) miss being near the top of this list???
    Don isn't passed off as an announcer, Don Cherry is passed off as an "analyst".

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