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Thread: Straight Same Sex Couple Get Married In NZ

  1. #31
    Elite Member *DIVA!'s Avatar
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    It's for a trip!!
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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by *DIVA! View Post
    Those are insulting!!
    no, i don't buy that. it's no more insulting to gay marriage than Britney Spears' 72-hour vegas wedding was an insult to heterosexual marriages everywhere.
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    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Just out of curiosity, these two are getting married to get the trip and are fine admitting it but how do the people saying that legalising gay marriage will lead to straight people abusing the system in order to get benefits or assistance for a friend plan on proving that the participants are or aren't genuinely gay?
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  4. #34
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  5. #35
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    I think everybody should have the right to marry who they choose. I'm offended by everybody that refuses to honor their vows.
    When you swear to something in front of your friends, your family, your government and your God, by damn, you had better mean it.
    Let's put the stigma back into divorce. Because if divorce is an option, your vows and promises, your word, doesn't mean shit.

  6. #36
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cnynrnr View Post
    Let's put the stigma back into divorce.

    Let's not.
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  7. #37
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Seriously.
    I never understood why some people are so invested in the sanctity of other people's marriages. Are they so insecure they think their own relationships are threatened by other people getting divorced or not being serious enough about their vows? Mind your own fucking business.
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  8. #38
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    marriage can be and mean different things to different couples. there are loveless marriages all over, and they are very real. i don't agree that the whole "fall in love and get married" thing is the only way to do it. people marry partners, who they don't love romantically, for financial security, health insurance, immigration issues, etc. their marriages are no less or more valid than mine or these NZ dudes or whoever's. there is no sanctity in gov't marriage & there shouldn't be. if you care about matrimonial sanctity, marry in a church that agrees with your beliefs.
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  9. #39
    Elite Member Flygirl's Avatar
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    We got married bc I was pregnant and we thought "what the hell, let's give it a shot. We have a permanent connection now anyway, so might as well get the benefits out of it."

    Not that I'm using my marriage as an example of a successful one , but I am glad the peanut gallery didn't get to vote on whether or not our reason was valid.
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  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    Seriously.
    I never understood why some people are so invested in the sanctity of other people's marriages. Are they so insecure they think their own relationships are threatened by other people getting divorced or not being serious enough about their vows? Mind your own fucking business.

    It's not about insecurity. It's about swearing to do something and then not following through. Another's shitty divorce means nothing to me, it does nothing to my marriage.

    But if you are not willing to live up to your oath, why get married?

    I'm not invested in the sanctity of other people's marriages, just my own. Divorces don't threaten me nor does gay marriage.

    Liars, though, piss me off. And if you swear to do something and don't, well, you are a liar.

    I was only stating my opinion. I will mind my own fucking business when you do the same.

    With all that out of the way, I wish the happy couple the best of luck!!

  11. #41
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    I would support a form of marriage that is purely a mutually agreed legal arrangement. Just two signatories and two witnesses to a formal contract. No ceremony, no priest/celebrant, no "vows", no rigmarole, no moral element. If you want a bells and whistles religious ceremony with all the trimmings then go ahead. We had a civil wedding which was fairly pared down and while it wasn't specifically religious there was an undercurrent of making a kind of spiritual commitment which I could have done without really. These days with the advent of much more flexible arrangements, secular celebrants, different venues, etc I'm sure it's much easier to have something everyone is comfortable with.

    Many people (sadly mostly women) completely lose sight of the fact that marriage is about WAY more than a fuck off wedding.
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    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cnynrnr View Post
    It's not about insecurity. It's about swearing to do something and then not following through. Another's shitty divorce means nothing to me, it does nothing to my marriage.

    But if you are not willing to live up to your oath, why get married?
    Maybe if we made people swear in blood.


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    It's no longer a dog whistle, it's a fucking trombone


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  13. #43
    Elite Member Shinola's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cnynrnr View Post
    It's not about insecurity. It's about swearing to do something and then not following through. Another's shitty divorce means nothing to me, it does nothing to my marriage.

    But if you are not willing to live up to your oath, why get married?

    I'm not invested in the sanctity of other people's marriages, just my own. Divorces don't threaten me nor does gay marriage.

    Liars, though, piss me off. And if you swear to do something and don't, well, you are a liar.

    I was only stating my opinion. I will mind my own fucking business when you do the same.

    With all that out of the way, I wish the happy couple the best of luck!!
    I know, like my friend whose husband turned into an emotionally abusive heroin addict after they got married? She totally should have kept her vow about the death do us part stuff. I mean, ugh, what a liar she was. He was entirely willing to stay married, steal her money, and endanger their infant daughter. Through thick and thin and all that.

    The cool thing is, though, she actually WAS stigmatized as a divorced single mom with a small child and a crazy ex husband. So there is some justice in the situation, at least.
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  14. #44
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cnynrnr View Post
    It's not about insecurity. It's about swearing to do something and then not following through. Another's shitty divorce means nothing to me, it does nothing to my marriage.

    But if you are not willing to live up to your oath, why get married?

    I'm not invested in the sanctity of other people's marriages, just my own. Divorces don't threaten me nor does gay marriage.

    Liars, though, piss me off. And if you swear to do something and don't, well, you are a liar.

    I was only stating my opinion. I will mind my own fucking business when you do the same.

    With all that out of the way, I wish the happy couple the best of luck!!
    The overwhelming majority of people go into marriage with the best of intentions. They believe (or hope) that this will be the person they are going to spend the rest of their life with. Unfortunately unless you are planning on being run over by a bus the day after there is absolutely NO WAY to guarantee that this will happen because there are two individuals involved and with the best will in the world neither of you can legislate for what the other may or may not do at a later date. Why should one person be penalised for the actions of another? Because that is exactly what will happen if people start to "stigmatise" divorce again, and it won't just be the innocent partner, it will be any children of the marriage copping for it too. Believe me, I know all this too well as a child of divorced parents whose mother was classed as a Fallen Woman and Damaged Goods by the mean minded, dried up old bitches of the era who thought it was their damn right to pass judgement on her for ridding herself of a violent philanderer. Do you really want us to go back to a time when children were sneered at and faced other indignities at the hands of the so called Moral Majority? Truly? Because you cannot have the stigma without the damaging ripples.
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  15. #45
    Elite Member Shinola's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kittylady View Post
    The overwhelming majority of people go into marriage with the best of intentions. They believe (or hope) that this will be the person they are going to spend the rest of their life with. Unfortunately unless you are planning on being run over by a bus the day after there is absolutely NO WAY to guarantee that this will happen because there are two individuals involved and with the best will in the world neither of you can legislate for what the other may or may not do at a later date. Why should one person be penalised for the actions of another? Because that is exactly what will happen if people start to "stigmatise" divorce again, and it won't just be the innocent partner, it will be any children of the marriage copping for it too. Believe me, I know all this too well as a child of divorced parents whose mother was classed as a Fallen Woman and Damaged Goods by the mean minded, dried up old bitches of the era who thought it was their damn right to pass judgement on her for ridding herself of a violent philanderer. Do you really want us to go back to a time when children were sneered at and faced other indignities at the hands of the so called Moral Majority? Truly? Because you cannot have the stigma without the damaging ripples.
    ^^^hear, hear. And you have nailed the reality that the stigma typically has attached to the woman. (And by extension harmed her children.) Disgusting.

    And let's face it, as my sarcastic earlier post implied, women still get stigmatized in first-world western nations as divorcees and single moms. Other cultures? So much worse. And aside from moral attitudes, they are hugely materially disadvantaged as a group.

    I'm a divorced mother myself and a feminist, meaning if YOU are a woman, I care about YOUR well-being, and I am deeply offended by the crap you wrote up there, cnynrnr. I hope you're a troll but alas, even if you are, nontrolls think the same shitty things--and worse.
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