Parents blamed for unruly pupils - Page 2

DisruptiveHair · October 11th, 2005, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohmygoodness

I totally agree DH and UG. I'm 18 and I just left the public school system 3 months ago and the spoiled kids there are just disgusting. Even my friends are spoiled. A friend of mine is going to SFU and her parents are paying not only for her tuition and residence, but also at her request bought her a new car. Who needs a new car when they live on campus?!!? I don't even have a car and I live 2 hours from my campus, I take the bus. It makes me sick, quite honestly.

Eek. My parents paid my tuition and living expenses all four years of college, but I was by no means rich. My monthly allowance was extremely low; barely enough to get by. One month we had to sell plasma to pay the electric bill. We were PO. I had a car in high school, but wasn't allowed to take my car to school with me the first two years. I thought that was extremely stupid and won't do that to my kids, unless they go to college in New York City or someplace else where parking is an even huger hassle than it was at UT.

LynnieD · October 11th, 2005, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disruptivehair

I don't think any of us who don't have kids are stupid enough to think that it's easy. It's hard, but it's a job worth doing right. I know sometimes I'll give in, but dammit...I'm going to do my best to tune out the whining and be firm, like my mom was.

I never said anyone was stupid....I just said it's not as easy as saying 'You cannot have that' or 'You have to do this and you'll like it'. There are outside factors that come into play.

I know exactly where everyone is coming from, I see both sides clearly.

DisruptiveHair · October 11th, 2005, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LynnieD

I never said anyone was stupid....I just said it's not as easy as saying 'You cannot have that' or 'You have to do this and you'll like it'. There are outside factors that come into play.

I know exactly where everyone is coming from, I see both sides clearly.

Yes...I'd imagine a huge outside factor is television, influencing children to constantly pester their parents for this treat or that toy. They were doing it when I was a kid, and it's worse now. I'd guess that another outside factor is the Jones factor, as in 'keeping up with.' The kids are like, "but why can't I have chicken nuggets for dinner? JORDAN has chicken nuggets for dinner!" or "I want <pointless gadget>! TAYLOR has TWO <pointless gadgets>." Again, I pulled that crap when I was a kid.

My mom always said, "Well, why don't you go live at Jordan's house?" LOL

Or maybe parents nowadays feel guilty that they don't spend as much time with the kids as they think they should, and substitute material items and comfort food for that missed quality time....because everyone is telling them that they're not spending enough time with their kids. How do they know? As far as I'm aware, there is no perfect formula for raising children, so who is to say that you're not spending enough time with them? I'd imagine the social pressures alone are enormous. You want to feel like you're doing the best for your child but you feel almost like you're in competition with the other parents around you, and the other parents compete with you instead of being supportive. Am I getting warm?

LynnieD · October 11th, 2005, 10:42 PM

^^^ Bingo!!^^^

Guilt is a huge factor---especially parents that work. I do not, but I know that other (women in particular) parents feel that since they don't see their kids all day, they want those few precious hours that they do see them to be happy ones! And not the whining and carrying on....

Hard staying at home too. Honestly, your damned if you do, damned if you don't. Just do the best you can with what you've got.

Grimmlok · October 11th, 2005, 10:49 PM

To this day i fail to see what's so great about spawning and having the life (and disposable income) leeched from you day by day.

AHHHhhhhhhhhh nobody to take care of but me, and look at all this money!

pacific breeze · October 11th, 2005, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohmygoodness

I totally agree DH and UG. I'm 18 and I just left the public school system 3 months ago and the spoiled kids there are just disgusting. Even my friends are spoiled. A friend of mine is going to SFU and her parents are paying not only for her tuition and residence, but also at her request bought her a new car. Who needs a new car when they live on campus?!!? I don't even have a car and I live 2 hours from my campus, I take the bus. It makes me sick, quite honestly.

I have taught quite a few of these spoiled brats and frankly, I'm beginning to hate them! They whine and complain about everything, don't study or put any effort into their work but expect As. Fuck that!

One told me she didn't have money to buy a roll of film to take pics to illustrate one of her journalism stories -- they have to use a 35mm at first just to learn how to use one -- and tried to hit me up for it. When I suggested she forgo her triple espresso mocha latter or whatever she was drinking and she'd have enough dough, she looked at me like I was insane.

Sacrifice something? No way. I'm entitled to it all, was her attitude. This brat drove a new car, always had fake nails, a fake tan and for all I know, fake tits too. And she was only 18.

DisruptiveHair · October 11th, 2005, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LynnieD

^^^ Bingo!!^^^

Guilt is a huge factor---especially parents that work. I do not, but I know that other (women in particular) parents feel that since they don't see their kids all day, they want those few precious hours that they do see them to be happy ones! And not the whining and carrying on....

Hard staying at home too. Honestly, your damned if you do, damned if you don't. Just do the best you can with what you've got.

Yep; this is what feminism has brought us. I'm not knocking it, but this is one area where we haven't been served well. Previously, most women didn't have the option of making a living outside the home. It's not like it was forbidden, but it wasn't easy. The man was the breadwinner, the mom was the housewife, and that's the way things were for most families.

Nowadays, most women don't have the choice to stay home; they have to go out and work to help support their families, while all the time they're being told that they should endeavor to stay home and that they're selfish for "wanting careers." A lot of working moms would rather stay home with the kids, but they simply CAN'T. It sucks, but that's our modern world. I don't think kids will be fucked up by it though. I'm going to try to stay home for at least a year with each kid we have, and I'd love to stay home until they start school, but I have to be realistic about it. Doing that will kill my career stone dead, and it will make it very difficult to go back to work; I'll work for years and years to claw my way back to where I was to begin with, and probably make less money too. That's the price of having a family. Sucks ass. It's bad enough that we have to put up with that shit, but people want to make us feel guilty for the "choices" we make. As if we really HAVE a choice.

DisruptiveHair · October 11th, 2005, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pacific breeze

I have taught quite a few of these spoiled brats and frankly, I'm beginning to hate them! They whine and complain about everything, don't study or put any effort into their work but expect As. Fuck that!

One told me she didn't have money to buy a roll of film to take pics to illustrate one of her journalism stories -- they have to use a 35mm at first just to learn how to use one -- and tried to hit me up for it. When I suggested she forgo her triple espresso mocha latter or whatever she was drinking and she'd have enough dough, she looked at me like I was insane.

Sacrifice something? No way. I'm entitled to it all, was her attitude. This brat drove a new car, always had fake nails, a fake tan and for all I know, fake tits too. And she was only 18.

Jeebus; when I was growing up, my mother and father tried to give us "everything they didn't have," but they also tried not to spoil us. We weren't poor growing up, but we weren't filthy filthy rich either. I had to choose between photography and other activities; couldn't do both because they were too expensive. And if I wanted to buy film to shoot that wasn't required for my class assignments, I had to buy it with my OWN MONEY, earned from my allowance or babysitting. Imagine the concept of delayed gratification! Oh my GOD!

DisruptiveHair · October 11th, 2005, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grimmlok

To this day i fail to see what's so great about spawning and having the life (and disposable income) leeched from you day by day.

AHHHhhhhhhhhh nobody to take care of but me, and look at all this money!

*shrug* If you feel that way, don't have kids. Some people have different priorities.

Lobelia · October 11th, 2005, 11:13 PM

Quote:

STOP DRIVING THEM TO SCHOOL. Fuck, they have schoolbusses

Grimm, It was clearly explained on another thread why school buses are EVIL.

As the human collective, we have come to emphasize the individual to a ridiculous degree.

I have rights.
I am special for no reason.
I deserve attention anytime I want it.
I deserve recognition for being mediocre.
I deserve commendation for minimal effort.
If I am hurt in any way, for any reason, it's someone's fault & they must pay.
If my child is criticized, then I am being insulted, and I must lash out.

That is the core set of sick, dysfunctional beliefs of current society. Adding to the confusion, enter Dr. Spock & his ilk, and now we're afraid to discipline our kids for fear of traumatizing them, or being disrespectful to them. The inmates took over the asylum.

Lobelia · October 11th, 2005, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grimmlok

To this day i fail to see what's so great about spawning and having the life (and disposable income) leeched from you day by day.

AHHHhhhhhhhhh nobody to take care of but me, and look at all this money!

It's one of those things that, even if everybody in the world tried to explain it to you, you don't understand until you experience it. I thought I was prepared for the feelings, and I had no idea. I'm not a big "kid" person, and I remember being annoyed with kids a lot even when I WAS a kid, & preferring adult company. However, I wouldn't trade my children for anything in the world. I would die to save their lives without a thought. There's no explaining it.

DisruptiveHair · October 11th, 2005, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lobelia

Grimm, It was clearly explained on another thread why school buses are EVIL.

As the human collective, we have come to emphasize the individual to a ridiculous degree.

I have rights.
I am special for no reason.
I deserve attention anytime I want it.
I deserve recognition for being mediocre.
I deserve commendation for minimal effort.
If I am hurt in any way, for any reason, it's someone's fault & they must pay.
If my child is criticized, then I am being insulted, and I must lash out.

That is the core set of sick, dysfunctional beliefs of current society. Adding to the confusion, enter Dr. Spock & his ilk, and now we're afraid to discipline our kids for fear of traumatizing them, or being disrespectful to them. The inmates took over the asylum.

Then there's this lady:

http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/

Lobelia · October 11th, 2005, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disruptivehair

Then there's this lady:

http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/

Well, good for her, but I'm glad we all don't breed so prodigiously. Never occurred to me to stake my child like a tomato.

Grimmlok · October 11th, 2005, 11:30 PM

See, here's the thing.

If some kid was in trouble and I had to die to save it, I would. Wouldn't matter who's hatchling it was. PRetty much the same with people, my friends, etc. If I had to take a bullet for one of them to live, I'd do it without hesitation.

I LOATHE children, but it's like some screwed up sense of duty or moral obligation. If I see someone being threatened on the street, i'll help them. If i see someone in trouble, i'll be the first one asking whats wrong.

but kids.. gah.. suck the life and cash right out of you

DisruptiveHair · October 11th, 2005, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lobelia

Well, good for her, but I'm glad we all don't breed so prodigiously. Never occurred to me to stake my child like a tomato.

Hehehe...I think some of her advice is good and I plan to follow it when I have kids, because I'm a southerner (dammit) and I don't stand for kiddies disobeying or sassing me. "Please," "thank you," "yes ma'am," and "no ma'am" are what I expect to hear. I'm not religious, but I don't think it is unreasonable to expect...to DEMAND...obedience from children. I think her methods are a little extreme, but I don't want to believe that I'd stand for sass from my own kids. I don't want to raise disobedient spoiled brats.