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Thread: Gay Adoption- Your honest thoughts

  1. #91
    Elite Member Sweetie's Avatar
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    I think you are non of the above, Effie. Well, honest you are.

  2. #92
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Well as long as you're honest about your Klan marching and how you get your grand wizard robe it's whitest....
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  3. #93
    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    We all need to take a time out now:


    YouTube - Cat Stevens - Peace Train (live)

    Don't slap me, cause I'm not in the mood!

  4. #94
    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    I didn't read all the posts, I'm just far too lazy.

    However, thought I'd just throw this in for shits and giggles:

    I know at least 2 lesbian couples that have adopted 7 kids between them. All 7 kids are 'special needs' children, ranging from ADD to serious crack addicted babies. Neither of these couples has EVER had a single reservation, upon receiving the phone call saying 'gee, we have another crack baby, think you can take this one too?'. I've honestly never seen such loving, caring, committed parents. I just saw one of the couples today, at my daughters school w/their 3 other kids.....and they just all look so happy and are doing so well. The kids have THRIVED. They are an inspiration in my opinion. It truly warms the heart.

  5. #95
    Elite Member cynic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    Well as long as you're honest about your Klan marching and how you get your grand wizard robe it's whitest....

    You're pissed you've got bear's blood on yours.....oh, wait, the test results came back.....it is small child's blood....you DO NOT get to adopt......

  6. #96
    Elite Member DoveFeatheredRaven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    ... ok, maybe not ME, but children annoy the shit out of me the same way yappy dogs do
    ohmilord!! I feel the same way!!!

    to quote jack (will & grace)....."Making someone gay is harder than I thought....I wonder how my mother did it"
    Witchgurl, I love anyone who will quote Jack from Will and Grace. !!!!

  7. #97
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DoveFeatheredRaven View Post
    ohmilord!! I feel the same way!!!


    Witchgurl, I love anyone who will quote Jack from Will and Grace. !!!!

    The show should have really been called "Jack and Karen"

  8. #98
    Elite Member Born In A Brothel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msdebagain View Post
    ^^^ saved me from getting banned! my thoughts exactly (i think i was literally paralyzed for a moment)
    I've seen it a lot, should gays adopt, and to me it's basically a non question.

    I can think of one friend off the top of my head whose parents aren't divorced. So, what is the answer then. Is a child better off in an opposite sex household, a same sex household, a single parent household or left in an orphange for 18 years?

    It's the same thing with abortion. Don't get one, hell put your child up for adoption. Well, are you going to adopt the unwanted children? Chances are they won't. Same as they won't adopt any child that could go into a loving gay household. I don't want them, but you sure as shit aint gonna get your gay boi hands on those children either.

  9. #99
    Elite Member Aella's Avatar
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    I'm completely for it. Gay or lesbian couples are no more statistically likely to mess up a child than straight parents-if anything, imo any couple who makes the effort and goes through the long drawn-out adoption process is points ahead in my eyes to somebody getting accidentally knocked-up.

    There are enough kids that get lost in the system, so I don't see how it could possibly be any better than a stable home with loving parents, whatever the parents' gender may be.

    As for strong male/female influences-bullshit. I was raised by a single mum, and turned out fine. And I had male presences in my life in the form of relatives/friends, just like any adopted child of a gay couple would have. People don't live in a vacuum.

    As for bigots-well, like many pointed out, how is change on a societal level supposed to happen unless somebody takes the first step. They need to just fucking deal with it, same as they do with single parents, interracial parents, and any family unit that doesn't fit the neat little conformist box. And like I said, any negativity beats not having parents at all.

  10. #100
    Elite Member Sassiness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    it won't change until people start changing it. thats the crappy part.
    Yup. That's the shitty thing... until a few kids of gay parents grow up and point out that their fine, everyone will continue to have their knickers in a twist about it.

    For me... I'm all for it. I don't give a FUCK what a would-be parent's sexual orientation is, I'm more worried about what their parenting skills are. If a couple, any couple really want a child, want a child so badly they are willing to forego the natural urge to pass their genes along (or are unable to do so) and they want to take some kid out of a lifetime of misery, poverty and loneliness... I"m all for it! That child's life will be improved because they are loved.

    Plenty of heterosexual parents are shit at it. Our society requires a detailed learning process and a licence to drive a car, but let's any fool become a parent - a far greater responsibility.

    Time to stop living in the stereotypes, assuming all gay people are into S&M with abandon and are utterly incapable of being good parents. It's all prejudicial bullshit.

    Not all gay couples will be suitable parents - but neither will all hetero couples!! It's nothing to do with their sexuality, but their personalities!

  11. #101
    Elite Member nana55's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by effie2 View Post
    I come from an older generation and i know my opinion would be unpopular,but i believe that nature knows best.
    If a pair of the same sex could be able to conceive naturally i would be all for it.
    Going against nature is dangerous in most ways,but that is me..
    There might come a time ,there wont be a classic mom dad family,we will live off green pills and cockroaches will rule
    I will happily push up daisies by then..
    I'm from an older generation, (hence my screen name) and I have no problem with gay famlies, adopted or turkey baster. We have a gay teacher at our school whose partner is pregnant. Their next child she will be pregnant. She has some great men in her life, a father and a brother, plus many male friends. These two women are wonderful and any child would be incredibly lucky to be raised by them. For those who say "nature knows best", I say nature made them gay also. Some don't agree with that but that is an argument for another day. Of course I'm an atheist so I don't think God had much to do with any of this.
    If I can't be a good example, then let me be a horrible warning.

  12. #102
    Elite Member nana55's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by southernbelle View Post
    I'm against it UNLESS the child consents.

    I think it should only be permitted if the child is old enough to understand the situation and make the choice for himself. There are plenty of older children who desperately need homes and might not have a problem with it being a gay or lesbian one. If a child consents to being placed in a loving home with two same sex parents, fine.

    I don't think it's right to place a baby or very young toddler in that situation because society as a whole DOES tend to have prejudicial views towards gay families (moreso in some places than others) and that child WILL face significant challenges, ridicule, and/or discrimination. I don't think it's right to put a child in that situation and then say something like, "well, society needs to change!!"
    We actually have two sets of gay parents at our little school. Maybe more, but 2 famlies that are very involved. The kids don't seem to have any problems. They parent a lot, one parent is at school everyday. I haven't noticed them being ridiculed or humiliated. I live in San Diego and maybe at a small school, (350 kids) we are more accepting, more like a family ourselves, there hasn't been a problem.
    If I can't be a good example, then let me be a horrible warning.

  13. #103
    Elite Member nana55's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by southernbelle View Post
    I don't think a baby should be an option for them. I believe that they should have to take a child who is already old enough to make the decision. There would be no waiting involved and it would help place a lot of older kids who frequently get passed over because of their age.
    Geez, I guess gays get the leftovers. Nice, nice. So they will never know the joy of having a tiny 6 month old look into their eyes with love. They won't be able to tickle their little babies tummy. No blowing belly bubbles, (10 year old don't like it too much). They will miss the joy of diaper changes and waking up every 3 hours. Of course that helps with bonding, but no, give them a child who has been through a bunch of foster parents who by this time has a lot of anger and trust issues. Nice, really nice.
    If I can't be a good example, then let me be a horrible warning.

  14. #104
    Elite Member nana55's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A*O View Post
    The original poster (a gay man BTW) asked for 'honest' opinions. I wish we could debate every angle of this important topic objectively without getting personal or assuming that just because someone expresses a view that it's their personal opinion. Let's open up the debate instead of trotting out the usual PC platitudes for fear of being accused of being homophonic or bigoted. Whether we like it or not there are people who are genuinely unhappy about this subject and shouting them down as being ignorant (or worse) isn't going to make them change their minds - quite the opposite in fact.

    Of the several gay couples I know, none has ever expressed a wish to have children. In fact, some of them absolutely do NOT want kids under any circumstances. Ditto several hetero couples I know who are finally daring to say they do not want to be parents. You should hear the crap the rains down on them from people demanding to know why they are so 'selfish' or plain 'weird' for not wanting to breed. You can't win.
    Just wondering if you have or want children. I find the term "breeder" offensive. I'm not going to get up in arms about it, but it doesn't define me. I know many many gay couples, in San Diego we have a large population in Hillcrest. Most of them when they reach 30 or thereabouts, do want children. Maybe you know a lot of young gay people. On the street where my daughter lives there are 2 manle gay couples who have adopted. They are fabulous parents. I just don't get this. We as a nation are so hung up on the sex act that it permeates our everyday life. I never saw my parents have sex, and most gay children won't either. If they ask why they have 2 mommies or daddies, do as grim said, tell them!
    If I can't be a good example, then let me be a horrible warning.

  15. #105
    Elite Member nana55's Avatar
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    O.K., I'll shut up now,
    If I can't be a good example, then let me be a horrible warning.

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