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Thread: Gay Adoption- Your honest thoughts

  1. #31
    Silver Member gardenofeve's Avatar
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    There are issues with kids being raised by gay parents and how they might be perceived by other kids. However every child of a gay or lesbian couple I know is extremely well adjusted and capable of handling BS that comes their way because they have two moms or two dads, and many of these parents will go out of their way to move towards communities where their relationships are fine. There is a reason why various cities have large gay communities.

    On the other hand, I find this whole "lets think of the children and how society will treat them" as another smokescreen. Thirty years ago, it wasn't exactly easy being an interracial kid in parts of Toronto, and it certainly feels a bit weird nowadays anytime I visit relatives in the southern US.

    But you know what? The bigots are just going to have to learn that some people are different, so grow up, put your big girl or boy panties on and deal with it.

    You give a child in the system the choice of a loving and stable home, even though they might have to deal with some BS from assholes about their parents, or sitting, waiting for a very long time (if ever!) for Ward and June Cleaver, I'd be willing to bet a hell of a lot which home they'll take.

  2. #32
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    ^ Ding, thank you.
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  3. #33
    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    yeah every kid has to deal with issues like that - it just makes them stronger. the poor kids get picked on for being poor, the fat kids for being fat, the nerdy the nerdy, etc. etc. etc. and diversity is good for society and the more the merrier damnit!

  4. #34
    Elite Member DoveFeatheredRaven's Avatar
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    All any child really wants is to be loved.

  5. #35
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    Sigh. I don't think anyone is saying that hetero couples are automatically 'better parents' when quite clearly they are not - far from it in many cases. And I don't think anyone is saying that gay couples are not capable of being good parents either - far from it in many cases. My concern arises from the fact that we just don't know yet what the long term outcomes are in these situations because these arrangements haven't been available long enough to be able to judge. But as Grimm says, we can't know until we actually do it and that's fine but we need to be very aware of the possible downsides and be prepared to deal with them.
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  6. #36
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by southernbelle View Post
    I'm against it UNLESS the child consents.

    I think it should only be permitted if the child is old enough to understand the situation and make the choice for himself. There are plenty of older children who desperately need homes and might not have a problem with it being a gay or lesbian one. If a child consents to being placed in a loving home with two same sex parents, fine.

    I don't think it's right to place a baby or very young toddler in that situation because society as a whole DOES tend to have prejudicial views towards gay families (moreso in some places than others) and that child WILL face significant challenges, ridicule, and/or discrimination. I don't think it's right to put a child in that situation and then say something like, "well, society needs to change!!"
    so correct me if i'm wrong (its been known to occur) the baby should stay with a foster family until he/she is old enough to say i'm ready to go with gay parents?
    Last edited by msdeb; June 14th, 2007 at 04:59 PM.
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  7. #37
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Well 20 years of study pointed to there being no adverse effects on the kid, and over the last 20 years it's gotten better for the 'mo's.
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  8. #38
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    The first boy I ever kissed had 2 Dads and he turned out fine. His father tried to be straight(back in the 70s) and ended up divorced. His Dad married another man and they had shared custody of his son. He's now in his late 30s, is successful and is happily married with kids. Growing up in a gay household didn't mess up his life.
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  9. #39
    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    it just doesn't make logical sense that it would affect a normal child adversely if the parent(s) were good ones.

  10. #40
    A*O
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    Ah yes, but you have to worry that the kids will catch gay germs from their mums/dads.
    I've never liked lesbianism - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
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  11. #41
    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    ^ yeah or "fat" germs, or "poor" germs, or "ugly" germs. kids are cruel we all know that and had to grow up with that, but they're resiliant too and help bring change.

  12. #42
    Elite Member southernbelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msdebagain View Post
    so correct me if i'm wrong (its been known to occur) the baby should stay with a foster family until he/she is old enough to say i'm ready to go with gay parents?
    I don't think a baby should be an option for them. I believe that they should have to take a child who is already old enough to make the decision. There would be no waiting involved and it would help place a lot of older kids who frequently get passed over because of their age.

  13. #43
    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    well no babies get to decide who they're born to though. kids who's parents molest them don't get to decide, kids who's parents are on welfare dont get that option, kids who's dad isn't w/ them b/c he already has a family and was cheating on his wife doesn't get that choice. and those are all bad situations. having a loving home w/ 2 ppl of the same sex is not a bad situation in and of itself.

  14. #44
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by southernbelle View Post
    I don't think a baby should be an option for them. I believe that they should have to take a child who is already old enough to make the decision. There would be no waiting involved and it would help place a lot of older kids who frequently get passed over because of their age.
    wow really?
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  15. #45
    Elite Member Born In A Brothel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by southernbelle View Post
    I don't think a baby should be an option for them. I believe that they should have to take a child who is already old enough to make the decision. There would be no waiting involved and it would help place a lot of older kids who frequently get passed over because of their age.
    Yikes! So what you are basically saying is, let the heteros have first pick and the gays get the ones that are passed over? Making a child decide if they want a gay couple as parents, to me, further plants the idea that there is something wrong with being gay or having gay parents. I mean, it's not like adoption agencies are asking children if it's okay they are adopted by straight couples.

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