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Thread: Colorado judge orders domestic violence victim to counseling with her abuser

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Default Colorado judge orders domestic violence victim to counseling with her abuser

    MyFox Colorado | Family Court System Putting Victims in Danger



    Family Court System Putting Victims in Danger Domestic violence victims giving abusers personal information Last Edited: Tuesday, 25 Sep 2007, 10:21 PM MDT Created: Tuesday, 25 Sep 2007, 10:21 PM MDT By JULIE HAYDEN, Reporter

    For some reason I can't post this article. In general it says that a judge is ordering a domestic violence victim to give her address and phone number to her abuser and forcing her to go to counseling with him. Are these judges living in the dark ages?
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    Gold Member Reptillycus's Avatar
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    Yes, they are living in the dark ages...this is not right.
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    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    He even pleaded guilty, and still she is made to do this

    What a bunch of idiots

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    Now this is even crazier than the Spector verdict. Just what the hell?

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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    She should refuse to comply; the judge is a tard. But here's the thing; they have a child together. Have his rights as a parent been terminated? Going to parenting classes or whatever makes sense. As the father he does have the right to know where his child is...

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    Elite Member Laxmobster's Avatar
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    ^If he's abusing the mother, it's more than likely he is or will abuse the child. I'm surprised she didn't file for sole custody or something like that in relation to her domestic violence case.

    This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, I would appeal the shit out of that and get the ACLU behind me. Again another reason why our legal system is so flawed in some aspects.
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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    I don't know; my stepfather used to beat the ever living dogshit out of my mother but he never hit the kids!

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    It's very common for the father to leave the kids alone. My childrens' father is a very doting parent. He saves his wrath exclusively for wives. Many men do the same.

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    Elite Member darksithbunny's Avatar
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    Yeah. I'd go for that. AND let him come on in. He won't be walking back out again. Perfect solution.

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    This is ridiculous. He needs the help. He should go to Anger Management Classes first and foremost. Then after completion, if he wants to see the child, Social Services should first deem him safe and then make a visitation arrangement where he is monitored outside of the home. Her (the ex) whereabouts need not be known yet.
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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    So I guess she has shit for an attorney as far as the custody case goes; maybe she should get a new one.

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    Elite Member crumpet's Avatar
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    This asshat jusdge is not a clinician and he has no business making clinical judgements such as ordering them to have counseling together. Any therapist knows that it is very ill advised to have couple's therapy of any kind in a dv situation and do not usually engage in family therapy until after the abuser has completed treatment and there has been an absence of violence for some time (and that means more than a few weeks). Therapy brings a lot of feelings (esp negative ones) to the surface and can actually increase the threat of harm to the victim.

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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    In child custody cases it is quite common for there to be multiple instances in which both parties have to be in the same place; whether it is counseling or going to mediation or going to meet with the ad litem. We honestly don't know from the details given whether or not the "abuser" has completed therapy; all we know is that he plead guilty. We also do not have an accurate timeline as to when all of the abuse took place and how much time has passed. This is a child custody case and the judge is looking into the interests of the child; ordering two parents of a child to go to parenting counseling and knowing eachothers' where abouts is not crazy. I think a really jacked up spin is being put on this story; it's not like a judge is making a rape victim go hang out with her rapist.

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    ^ Would a child's interests be met if he/she is being raised by someone who abused his significant other? The fact that a domestic violence case actually went to court and was plead out says volumes. This IS similar to having a rape victim go hang out with her rapist.

    We also don't know if the abuser had a plea agreement for a far lesser charge, but it certainly sounds like the abuse was not just a one-time incident. Just because he completed therapy does not mean that he won't abuse again. In addition, we also don't know if the abuser is using the child custody issue to manipulate the woman in question.

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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    How does it sound like it was more than once? Where the hell in that article did it state anything other than the guilty plea? I find it interesting that both parents are going to learn how to be parents...
    And if this abuse took place multiple times then is it in the best interest of a child to have a mother who stays with someone who abuses them?
    Using child custody to manipulate? That's like 95% of all family court cases.

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