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Thread: Queen Elizabeth Rips Chris Christie on Gay Marriage

  1. #1
    Elite Member dksnj's Avatar
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    Mar 2007
    Jersey Shore, NJ

    Default Queen Elizabeth Rips Chris Christie on Gay Marriage

    Queen Elizabeth Rips Chris Christie on Gay Marriage

    Posted by Andy Borowitz

    LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—Moments after approving a new law legalizing gay marriage in England and Wales, Queen Elizabeth II of Britain unleashed a blistering attack on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie for “lacking the guts” to do the same.
    The British monarch’s brutal evisceration of Gov. Christie stunned observers, who did not know that she was such a close follower of his gay-marriage stance.
    “I don’t like to badmouth people,” she said. “But I’m the head of a monarchy that began in the ninth century, and I’m apparently more modern than Chris Christie.”
    After shocking observers with her opening salvo, she continued to tear Gov. Christie to shreds.
    “Look, I know he has to appeal to the crazy right wingers in his party,” she added. “But the fact is, he’s not as forward-thinking as an eighty-seven-year-old lady who wears a crown on her head. It’s pathetic.”
    Asked if she had advice for Gov. Christie, the British monarch said, bluntly, “Just sign the damn bill, Chris.”
    Responding to a reporter’s question about the upcoming royal birth, Elizabeth replied, “Tell you the truth? I’m just glad the kid’s not being born in New Jersey.”
    Vera Donovan: (Dolores Claiborne) : Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Aug 2008


    He should leave satire to people who are better at it.
    Jana, Lalique, rockchick and 1 others like this.
    As Canadian as possible under the circumstances


    "What's traitors, precious?" -- President Gollum

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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy2.0 View Post
    He should leave satire to people who are better at it.
    I admit I've laughed at the Borowitz Report before, but yeah, this one is pretty bad and horribly unfunny.

  4. #4
    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    Oct 2005


    Unfunny indeed.
    Hello mother fucker! when you ask a question read also the answer instead of asking another question on an answer who already contain the answer of your next question!

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