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Thread: Many women believe men are sometimes justified in hitting their wives

  1. #1
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Default Many women believe men are sometimes justified in hitting their wives



    Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words. Global Health Magazine posted this screenshot today.
    The information used in this graphic comes from data assembled on the UNICEF site Child Info: Monitoring the Situation of Women and Children and collected between 2001 and 2007. The percentages above represent women aged 1549 who responded that a husband or partner is justified in hitting or beating his wife under certain circumstances. See a chart with more country info and sources here.

    Many women believe men are sometimes justified in hitting their wives

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    Silver Member oltifreakinbaby's Avatar
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    This really pisses me off. My mom's been going through spousal abuse on and off with my dad for almost 20 years, and she's NEVER for one moment let me think it was okay. She always told me to never take that from a man. And before any of you ask why she doesn't apply the same to herself, believe me, she's tried. Although the last few years he's been sick and she doesn't just want to abandon him.

    A lot of my mom's friends (European women, trying not to generalize but they are) get abused by their husbands or sometimes hit and they just take it. I even have cousins who are controlled or hit by their husbands from time to time and they don't mind. To them, as long as it doesn't go too far, it's fine. The same little boys who would try to defend their mothers when their dads were beating them, end up one day beating their own wives. When you're raised in an environment like that, it's hard to break out of that state.

    My ex was semi-violent with me. He would search through my phone for guys numbers, threw my phone out of a moving car once, berated me all the time and said I was cheating on him. When he was really mad, he would squeeze my hand so hard I would almost cry and he thought it was better than just hitting me. The first time he did that, I got out of the relationship.


    I'm sorry if this was long, but this is something I'm very passionate about. I'm tired of people making it seem like it's not a big deal.

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    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oltifreakinbaby View Post
    This really pisses me off. My mom's been going through spousal abuse on and off with my dad for almost 20 years, and she's NEVER for one moment let me think it was okay.
    You mean, by staying with her abuser for decades she taught you how wrong it was? That's twisted. Actions speak louder than words.

    Quote Originally Posted by oltifreakinbaby View Post
    A lot of my mom's friends (European women, trying not to generalize but they are) get abused by their husbands or sometimes hit and they just take it.
    As a European woman, I can assure you that this generalization is not accurate.
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    Elite Member WhateverLolaWants's Avatar
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    Only as justified as women are who beat their husbands.

    You just shouldn't beat your spouse, either way. I do hate the double standard, though.
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    Elite Member Wiseguy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by oltifreakinbaby
    This really pisses me off. My mom's been going through spousal abuse on and off with my dad for almost 20 years, and she's NEVER for one moment let me think it was okay.
    No offense, but I had the same reaction as Chilly. Why would your mother put up with that kind of abuse for a few days, let alone 20 years?? Was she in a country where help was hard to come by?

    Olti, I know your dad is sick right now, but abuse is abuse. That sends you a terrible, terrible message to you and your siblings. I just hope to God you would never put up with that kind of abuse EVER.

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    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    IMO, there wouldn't be abusive husbands, if there weren't wives who let them get away with it.
    Hello mother fucker! when you ask a question read also the answer instead of asking another question on an answer who already contain the answer of your next question!
    -Bugdoll-



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    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chilly Willy View Post
    IMO, there wouldn't be abusive husbands, if there weren't wives who let them get away with it.
    or girlfriends, or friends, or ...

    Never an excuse, never a reason, never ok.
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    Quote Originally Posted by shedevilang View Post
    (Replying to MontanaMama) This is some of the smartest shit I ever read

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    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    ^^ Exactly. Not even in Europe, backwards though as it may be.
    Hello mother fucker! when you ask a question read also the answer instead of asking another question on an answer who already contain the answer of your next question!
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    Silver Member oltifreakinbaby's Avatar
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    My mom did try to leave him when I was four, but then we found out that we could come to the US so she took him back. And he begged to come back and divorce was very frowned upon at that time. And then when we were here, she didn't feel we had anyone to go to. We had literally no family here and she couldn't support my sister and I by herself. It wasn't so bad then. When I was 12, we left again to my mom's cousin house for a week. Then we went back because she couldn't just leave him to die (which he would have since by then he was sick).

    We recently found out that his illness contributes to his behavioral problems. When he's on the medicine, he's fine and has no problems.

    And Chilly, I didn't mean to generalize. But a lot of my mom's friends are European, and they do put up with it. Not that women from other continents don't either, it's just that's where most of her friends are.

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    Elite Member Wiseguy's Avatar
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    A good question to ask is: "Is it ever OK for a man to hit a woman?" My answer would be that unless his life (or the life of a loved one) is in immediate danger, then there is no reason to ever hit a woman.

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    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Olti-

    I think the women you are talking about must have something else in common besides being 'European'. Europe is a big place with many countries and cultures, and none of the European women I know would put up with this. My grandmothers would have killed a man who laid his hands on them.

    There is either a specific culture that links them, or a religion.

    I also have no idea about when divorce was frowned upon in your lifetime. You are about 20 or so, right.

    My parents divorced in the 70's and it had no stigma. Millions of other couples too.
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    Elite Member crumpet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhateverLolaWants View Post
    Only as justified as women are who beat their husbands.
    Quote Originally Posted by WhateverLolaWants View Post

    You just shouldn't beat your spouse, either way. I do hate the double standard, though.


    I share your perspective. As a rule, no, hitting is not acceptable. Yet I can think of a few extraneous circumstances where hitting someone (or worse) would make sense and I'm not one of those violence is NEVER an option people. For instance, if I come home and find my husband in my bed banging another woman he will be seriously injured before I throw his ass out and I'd expect the same. If my partner abused on of my animals they would be dead, then homeless. I'm talking about circumstances very unlikely to happen to begin with and I insist on a drama free domestic sphere.

    I just get annoyed with the 'no reason ever to hit a woman' crew if they think that a man is wrong for so much as slapping his wife across the face if he catches her cheating on him but a woman like Mary Winkler is justified in murdering someone in their sleep for 'making' her wear hooker shoes
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    Elite Member WhateverLolaWants's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crumpet View Post

    I share your perspective. As a rule, no, hitting is not acceptable. Yet I can think of a few extraneous circumstances where hitting someone (or worse) would make sense and I'm not one of those violence is NEVER an option people. For instance, if I come home and find my husband in my bed banging another woman he will be seriously injured before I throw his ass out and I'd expect the same. If my partner abused on of my animals they would be dead, then homeless. I'm talking about circumstances very unlikely to happen to begin with and I insist on a drama free domestic sphere.

    I just get annoyed with the 'no reason ever to hit a woman' crew if they think that a man is wrong for so much as slapping his wife across the face if he catches her cheating on him but a woman like Mary Winkler is justified in murdering someone in their sleep for 'making' her wear hooker shoes
    Yeah...that covers it pretty well.
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    Elite Member Wiseguy's Avatar
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    For instance, if I come home and find my husband in my bed banging another woman he will be seriously injured before I throw his ass out and I'd expect the same.
    No - that's not ok. I know you are talking hypothetically in your own instance, but I don't think it's ok to seriously injure either a husband or a wife who has been cheating. I can understand a slap on the face, or a shove etc, but not a serious injury.

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wiseguy View Post
    No - that's not ok. I know you are talking hypothetically in your own instance, but I don't think it's ok to seriously injure either a husband or a wife who has been cheating. I can understand a slap on the face, or a shove etc, but not a serious injury.
    Seriously injured or just smacked? I would expect to get a few punches thrown my way if my wife caught me in bed with another woman. That's one of those transcendent moments in life where the wronged spouse gets a free shot, in my opinion. I think in that case the cheating is more grievous and damaging than a slap.

    That being said, I have been married for over 17 years and have never slapped, punched, kicked, squeezed, folded, or spindled my wife in that entire time. I've also never called her a bitch, or a c*nt, or an idiot either. I'd like to think it had 100% to do my morals and upbringing; however, I also know that my wife would NEVER put up with something like that, and that she can punch back harder than 50% of the guys out there.

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