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Thread: We are creating a nation of Mummy's Boys

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    Default We are creating a nation of Mummy's Boys

    This article relates to Australia but I reckon it applies more or less worldwide. In some ways I think the battle for sexual equality is going backwards. I know so many of these useless drones who mooch of their parents (who willingly indulge them) despite the fact they have good jobs and could easily afford to live independently. I pity the poor women who marry them.

    July 8, 2009 - 4:08PM .
    Australian mothers are breeding a generation of "mummies' boys", new data reveals.

    Social demographer Bernard Salt says new figures released by the Australian Bureau of Statistics found that 27 per cent of men aged between 20 and 34 are still living with their parents - double the proportion of women.

    Mr Salt said the difference could be explained because men generally marry younger women.

    But because they were tied to the apron strings longer, these men could have unrealistic expectations of their partners, he said.

    "Men are living at home well into their twenties because they get free meals, free board, free laundry, free access to the family car and you can have your girlfriend stay in your bedroom overnight, so why would you ever leave home?" Mr Salt said.

    "Plus the fact mum dotes on you and that leads to that we may well be raising this entire generation of men who are effectively mummies' boys.

    "The problem being that when they go out and form a meaningful relationship they expect their girlfriend to pick up where mum left off."

    A generation ago men generally left home at 18 and were fending for themselves managing their own households and budgets, he said.

    "If you've got mummy picking up your dirty washing at 27 you never actually learn those skills."

    The upshot of this is that if you are raised with this attitude of not having to do anything for yourself, men will have the attitude that: "If you don't do anything, a woman's going to do it for you".

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    Elite Member TheONe's Avatar
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    I moved out after college but went back a few times in between apartments until I was like 26 the last time I lived home. But it's because I'm the youngest and mom loves me. lol
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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    i always said mothers are mostly to blame for sexist men. it's like they teach girls to be independent and self-sufficient, but don't do the same for the boys. they do everything for them and are convinced the poor wee things couldn't do it on their own. and that lasts all the way into adulthood. and it's bullshit. it might take boys a few months longer than girl to learn to tie their shoes and pee without getting it everywhere but after that they catch up. it's just that by then they've figured out how much nicer it is to have everything done for you and they perfect the 'poor helpless thing' routine. i know, i have 3 brothers.

    this is definitely not a new phenomenon though. at least not in a lot of countries.
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    ^^Agree with Sput. It's nothing new. Part of my family has a southern European background and the men are completely tied to the mothers.
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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Not my family! We would be horrified. Not one of my cousins or my family have had this happen!
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    Elite Member calcifer's Avatar
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    oh god. my mum stocks up my older brother's fridge with food once a week.

    note: he doesn't live at home anymore...

    he's a disaster. a couple of weeks ago he was here and had taken off his shoes in the middle of the kitchen floor. i grabbed them and hid them in the garage. afterwards, i heard it took him an hour the next morning to relocate his missing shoes. i used to pick up after him (because i easily trip over people's stuff if they leave it lying around) and threw everything i found on his bed but he started throwing everything back out into the hallway.. so i started hiding everything. way more fun and it seems to work better this way.

    my younger brother is the opposite. he can clean up after himself and knows how to cook simple dishes.

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    Elite Member crumpet's Avatar
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    I hate man-worshipping mothers who think that boys are god and girls are all little devils.
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    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    I think it's also somewhat of a self-perpetuating cycle that men are somehow incompetent so they act it. Path of least resistence and all - if someone will eventually do it, see if you can wait them out or take what you can get.

    I have told my daughter for years that when she leaves for college that she should not be alarmed by the metallic sounds she hears as she heads out the door - it's just the locks being changed.
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    "Men are living at home well into their twenties because they get free meals, free board, free laundry, free access to the family car and you can have your girlfriend stay in your bedroom overnight, so why would you ever leave home?" Mr Salt said.

    Not in MY house! I had my brother move in with us for a short period of time about a year and a half ago. He had lived by himself but he's like a Man-Child. I made it clear that I wasn't going to follow him around and pick up after him, he was to get up, shower and have his bed made each day. We did what we could to include him in dinner and so on. We weren't unreasonable in what we asked of him and considering that he was here for free, you'd think he'd be cooperative. Nope. I wasn't cleaning up after him so I go in his room one day and there's soda bottles on the floor, a 4 foot pile of dirty clothes and paper plates to boot. His idea of making the bed was to pull the comforter up and be done. To make it worse, here we'd shorted ourselves an office and he was going back and forth between our house and our grandparents'. I had a room that we needed that was only being used 3 to 4 days a week but I couldn't use it the rest of the week. After seeing the room, I called my mom and said I'm done, if he wants to live like that, fine but he wasn't going to do it in my house. I come home a couple of days later, my mom had picked him up. He had scooped up all of his things, rolled up the bedding that I bought and took it with him. Later, he came back and took the mattress that I bought. Not an ounce of gratitude and he even had the nerve to bitch at my mother about the piece of shit mattress a few weeks ago. I told her to tell him that it's not wise to complain about something that he didn't effing pay for.

    I don't know what it is with him, my sister and I are totally the opposite. He's 23 and for all outward appearances, has no desire to do anything. He was hurt on a job a few years ago and that legitimately did set him back but it's like he just stopped caring at that point.
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    Elite Member WhateverLolaWants's Avatar
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    Eh, my mom doesn't do shit for my brother and he doesn't want her help. My husband's mother hasn't done shit for him since he moved out at 18. This isn't everyone.
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    Elite Member katerpillar's Avatar
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    Keep in mind that most Australians don't move out to go to university. Unless they're in a rural area or the course they want to do isn't offered locally, almost all Aussies will attend a university in their home city. While someone's still studying, I think it's reasonable for them to remain at home - which could mean into their mid-20s if they're doing a 5/6+ year degree like Medicine or Law.

    I know a few guys in their late 20s who are living with their parents, which is kind of amusing to me as they've all long since founded their own successful businesses and lived out of home in the past. I know at least one of them owns an investment property and they all have their own cars. They pay board and do their own housework though so I guess the arrangement feels more like living with housemates they're related to than living with their parents. *shrug*

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    I know a woman who lived with her parents (aka her 'best friends') until the age of 37, when she married.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

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    Quote Originally Posted by crumpet View Post
    I hate man-worshipping mothers who think that boys are god and girls are all little devils.
    You'd hate my mom then; when I visit while dating women she'd give them the "eye" but when I had boyfriends over she'd offer them a plate of food and tell them not to "get rough" with me later.

    Which is why I never bring anyone I'm dating to my parent's house.

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    Quote Originally Posted by calcifer View Post
    oh god. my mum stocks up my older brother's fridge with food once a week.

    note: he doesn't live at home anymore...

    he's a disaster. a couple of weeks ago he was here and had taken off his shoes in the middle of the kitchen floor. i grabbed them and hid them in the garage. afterwards, i heard it took him an hour the next morning to relocate his missing shoes. i used to pick up after him (because i easily trip over people's stuff if they leave it lying around) and threw everything i found on his bed but he started throwing everything back out into the hallway.. so i started hiding everything. way more fun and it seems to work better this way.

    my younger brother is the opposite. he can clean up after himself and knows how to cook simple dishes.
    ^ This is hilarious!

    I have an uncle who is a momma's boy. After my grandmother died (almost 30 years ago), he went from relative to relative, and people tired of him quickly. He was messy, intrusive, drank and smoked too much and was, in general, a slob and a pest. Now he is living with a relative and has been with her for about 20 years. Her husband died and her kids are grown with kids of their own, and she should have sold her house and moved into a nice one bedroom condo, but she stays in the house for him. It is truly unbelievable. He is now 90, you read right, 90, and someone is still picking up after him.

    Another momma's boy is my neighbor's son. He is 23 and in college. He does not have his driver's license because mommy won't allow him to get it yet, because she is worried about him driving himself places (he could have gotten his license at 16)!!! At the beginning of each semester, she takes him to school, helps pick out his classes, and then takes him to the classroom so he knows how to get there and doesn't get lost on the first day of classes. She drives him everywhere! Even if it means she has to drive back and forth 20 times in a day! One day he was offered a job for a nice salary and she said, "If he makes that much, I don't have to work anymore..." I guess she plans on him never having a life of his own and they can live together forever? Like a married couple?

    My son on the other hand, has been taking care of himself for a very long time. When he was 13 and I found clean folded clothes in the laundry, I showed him how to do his own laundry and that was the end of that! He knows how to cook, clean, do laundry, etc. This bs about coddling your sons is just that.

    Lastly, my aunt went to visit her brother and his house was a mess. She spent her entire "vacation " cleaning his house. When she told me about it, she said "I spent the whole time there cleaning up his house. He cannot be expected to do this, after all, he is only a man..."
    Last edited by Jansi; August 3rd, 2009 at 07:06 PM.

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    Elite Member Rondette's Avatar
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    I feel slightly embarrassed admitting this but my hubbo is a bit like this.
    As some of you know we're separated at the moment and he's back with his mum. When me and his mum meet up she always moans about how messy he is and she has to do his washing and cooking. I cringe inwardly and ask her why doesn't she (nicely) kick him out and make him find a place of his own-I don't think it's fair for her to have to put up with it-and she says 'oh I can't, he's my son'
    Problem for me though is it means he has gotten quite a comfy deal out of it and there is no incentive for him to move out or think about what is going on with us two...

    He's 37, by the way.

    Plus, when we lived together he used to moan about the mess in the house but NEVER CLEAN UP after himself! Drives me crazy. I'm a messy person but I do pick up the hoover from time to time and keep the place clean. He would take off his t-shirt and it would stay on the floor, or bags would be left in the middle of the kitchen floor...it got to the point where I'd leave them to see how long it'd be before he picked them up. I'd always end up doing it.

    Hmm, I'm kinda talking myself out of a husband here! hahaha.

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