Daughter is denied the right to identify her sperm donor father

**A*O** · April 12th, 2009, 09:04 PM

LAUREN Burns knows the state bureaucracy has her biological father's name.

Apparently, it is at the Public Records Office, along with other information from the former Prince Henry's Hospital.

He was a sperm donor, known to her now as C11, a blond man 180 centimetres tall and weighing about 73 kilograms, when he donated in 1979.

At that time, the process was confidential, and no laws existed to facilitate identification.

Four children, including Ms Burns, have been born to four families using his sperm.

Now, 25, Ms Burns wants to identify C11, and possibly meet him and her three half-siblings.

But she finds herself at a dead end, because legislation that lets donors and their offspring seek information about each other came into force in 1988, almost five years after she was born. This means she is not entitled to seek his name from the state, or even ask an authority created under the relevant law to write to him on her behalf.

The body, the Infertility Treatment Authority, has organised a voluntary register, which Ms Burns has joined. The register allows donors and their offspring, when a DNA match is made, to make contact and exchange information.

ITA chief Louise Johnson said it had facilitated 46 matches through the registers, and more than 120 donors had come forward under its Time to Tell campaign.

Ms Burns said she was not one of the matches.

She is adamant she is not looking for money, or a father figure, but wants to know more about her genetic identity.

"It is interesting that in almost every other situation, society strongly encourages fathers to be part of their children's lives, and those who refuse … are labelled deadbeat dads," she said.

"Yet in this exception, it is the exact opposite. Sometimes I feel labelled a deadbeat child for wanting to know the identity of my biological father, because I might upset or inconvenience him."

She said a donor always knew he was creating a child, and a reasonable person would realise the significance of that act.

Ms Burns has lobbied the State Government to accommodate her, and others in her situation. She fears the Assisted Reproductive Treatment Act, due to replace existing legislation by 2010, will not make her situation any easier.

She supplied a letter written by a lawyer on her behalf in February to Victorian Attorney-General Rob Hulls asking for identity issues relating to donor-conceived people to be referred to the law reform committee of parliament.

In a reply on February 25, the Department of Justice said her views had been noted, and the Government was considering whether to refer the issues. The letter said the new law was based on recommendations by the Victorian Law Reform Commission.

Ms Burns said the law failed to incorporate the commission's recommendation that the ITA be allowed to act as an intermediary in cases like hers.

Daughter seeking sperm donor dad hits legal dead end | theage.com.au

I'm torn on this. While I can see her reasons for wanting to know who her biological father is, I'm sure he donated in the first place knowing that his identity would be kept confidential as I'm sure a lot of other sperm donors do. If a donor wants his child(ren) to contact him that's one thing, but having someone knock on the door saying "Hi Dad!" would probably scare a lot of donors off. Then there's the issue of mothers going after the bio dads for child support or even handing the kid(s) over for him to raise if she can no longer do so.

**sparkly** · April 12th, 2009, 10:12 PM

A lot of men wouldn't donate if they knew that their potential offspring could find out their identity and search for them. I understand her desire for wanting to know who he is, but his privacy needs to be respected. If she has an issue with that, she needs to take it up with her mother. It's a serious issue, and something that I hope women take into serious consideration when they choose to go this route to have a child.

**Tati** · April 12th, 2009, 11:30 PM

Originally Posted by sparkly

A lot of men wouldn't donate if they knew that their potential offspring could find out their identity and search for them. I understand her desire for wanting to know who he is, but his privacy needs to be respected. If she has an issue with that, she needs to take it up with her mother. It's a serious issue, and something that I hope women take into serious consideration when they choose to go this route to have a child.

I agree. I thought the whole point of sperm banks was that it was anonymous, and that there would simply be no father involved, just a mother. I can see a lot of participants, mothers and donors, being very frustrated if the anonymity was removed, since it was always sold as this highly detached, shopping-from-a-catalogue, ooh-look-a-six-foot-rocket-scientist! kind of thing that completely removed fathers from the process.

I can see how that might not be okay with the child, but that's what it was supposed to be, and I don't think it would be fair to change the rules on those who entered into it under those suppositions. I mean, I'd like to know who my birth parents are, but I'm not entitled to know, and it doesn't bother me - it's just not supposed to work that way.

**buttmunch** · April 13th, 2009, 05:33 AM

I'm torn as well but ultimately come down on the side of his right to remain anonymous. I understand her wanting to know but she should try to understand he may not want this and respect that.

**LynnieD** · April 13th, 2009, 06:52 AM

I am also torn by this, for the same reasons. I can completely understand why she would want to know more about her genetic makeup, I would want to know that as well. But, given the circumstances, that just doesn't seem possible....and maybe she should seek some therapy or something to deal with it because it looks like its not going to change anytime in the future.

Wonder if there is any kind of 'support group' for these types of kids.....probably somewhere online. She should look into that.

**Ravenna** · April 13th, 2009, 08:48 AM

I am not torn. A man who has made a donation under the condition of anonymity should remain anonymous always and forever. Future rule changes should not be applied retroactively. I might be torn if she were dying of some disease that could be treated if only they could find a matching donor but mere curiosity, no matter how powerful it may be, is not a good enough reason to break the conditions under which the donations were made. Having his identity exposed could prove extremely disruptive to the lives of the donor and his family.

**McJag** · April 13th, 2009, 09:07 AM

See,this is the part that bothers me-what medical conditions have surfaced in the last 25 years in his family? And what if she unknowingly hooks up with her own brother? That is bothersome.

**Sarzy** · April 13th, 2009, 11:55 AM

Originally Posted by sparkly

A lot of men wouldn't donate if they knew that their potential offspring could find out their identity and search for them. I understand her desire for wanting to know who he is, but his privacy needs to be respected. If she has an issue with that, she needs to take it up with her mother. It's a serious issue, and something that I hope women take into serious consideration when they choose to go this route to have a child.

In the UK sperm donors don't have a right to anonymity. It was removed a few years ago and they did find themselves with a shortage of donors! But I do feel that everyone has a right to know who their birth parents are.

**Trixie** · April 13th, 2009, 12:35 PM

I feel for her, but if the man wanted info on his "children" he would join the registry. If he doesn't, his right to privacy should be respected.

**MontanaMama** · April 13th, 2009, 12:43 PM

This isn't even a close call for me. He donated under a right to remain anonymous rule. I can understand her frustration, but that's as far as it goes and that's as far as she should take it - feel sad not to know, but get some therapy and move on, she has no right to anything further.

**MohandasKGanja** · April 14th, 2009, 10:03 AM

They should protect his anonymity. Like Sparkly said, "take it up with the mother."

**sputnik** · April 14th, 2009, 10:26 AM

Originally Posted by Ravenna

I am not torn. A man who has made a donation under the condition of anonymity should remain anonymous always and forever. Future rule changes should not be applied retroactively. I might be torn if she were dying of some disease that could be treated if only they could find a matching donor but mere curiosity, no matter how powerful it may be, is not a good enough reason to break the conditions under which the donations were made. Having his identity exposed could prove extremely disruptive to the lives of the donor and his family.

Originally Posted by MontanaMama

This isn't even a close call for me. He donated under a right to remain anonymous rule. I can understand her frustration, but that's as far as it goes and that's as far as she should take it - feel sad not to know, but get some therapy and move on, she has no right to anything further.

agree with both of you.
it sucks for her but that's life. she can take it up with her mother. i don't think children of sperm donors should have a right to know who the father is unless he specifically says it's ok for his identity to be revealed down the line.

**sluce** · April 15th, 2009, 09:34 AM

I am not torn on this at all. The adults in the situation made an agreement for a person who was not yet born. The child born was not a party to the agreement and should not be legally bound by it. Everyone has a fundamental right to know where they came from. I have helped hundreds of adult adoptees find their birth families. Only twice did the birthom not want to be found and it was because she had been living a lie and had not told anyone she had given a child up. Still they were both willing to speak with their now adult child and provide as much background info as they wanted. In one case the women then found the courage to tell her family and she, the child she gave up and the kids she later had and parented are all very close. The child of adoption, surrogacy, donor imsemniation should not have their rights superceded because of an agreement made years before by their "parents".

**MontanaMama** · April 15th, 2009, 11:47 AM

Sorry Sluce, I totally disagree. There is no fundamental right to parental information. Although I think it is fantastic that you are able to help people IF both parties are willing. You think this guy doesn't know that he could register on a website to meet any biological children? Of course he does and he didn't do it, so this girl just has to learn to live with the information she has.

**sluce** · April 15th, 2009, 07:11 PM

Actually you are wrong. Most donors have no idea there is a registry. They jerked off into a jar, took the cash and ran. It is irresponsible to donate eggs or sperm without thinking of the long term consequences for the huuman that may be born of your "donation". It should not be called a donation any way since men and women do it for the cash. There are more adoptees and doner insemination kids in therapy than any other segment of society. That should tell you something. Tell them they should be denied the fundemental rights given to everyone parented by a biological parent.