A Florida plastic surgeon, Dr. Michael Salzhauer, is putting out a children's book this mother's day that explains why mommy has new tits, nose and a stretched out face. Dr. Michael wrote the book, because a lot of his patients didn't know how to talk to their kids about their "new look."
My Beautiful Mommy is aimed at kids ages four to seven and features a plastic surgeon named Dr. Michael (a musclebound superhero type) and a girl whose mother gets a tummy tuck, a nose job and breast implants. Before her surgery the mom explains that she is getting a smaller tummy: 'You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael is going to help fix that and make me feel better.' Mom comes home looking like a slightly bruised Barbie doll with demure bandages on her nose and around her waist"
Naturally, it has a happy ending: mommy winds up "even more" beautiful than before, and her daughter is thrilled.
One patient of Dr. Michael claims the book helped her son deal with her tummy tuck. She said he actually talked about it openly at a party. He said, "Did you see her new belly button? It's so pretty!" That boy sounds creeeepier than Suri Cruise!
Now I know what to get Nicole Kidman for her baby shower!
It makes sense that the Dr. Michael in the book has such a small head, because bitch has no brains. Does he dedicate a chapter to "Why can't mommy move her fucking face?!" or "Why did that lady call mommy a plastic slut?"
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Darling, if you want to talk bollocks and discover the meaning of life, you're better off downing a bottle of whiskey. At least that way, you're unconscious by the time you start to take yourself seriously
What a fucked up way of justifying the overwhelming vanity of society.
__________________ Comic Barry Crimmins was asked, "Since you criticize the USA so much, why don't you go live somewhere else?" His response would be, "What? And be a vicitim of American foreign policy?"
A plastic surgery book for kids!!
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