Neuter = no brainer. You're an idiot if you don't.
Declaw = I wouldn't for all the reasons stated already and doubt I could find a reputable vet willing to do it. I know cats are independant, bloody minded buggers but you CAN train them to an extent provided you are willing to devote a lot of time and patience. A good squirt from a water pistol is a very good deterrant when they misbehave and they eventually get the message but be prepared for an epic battle of wills. I used to just take the ultra-sharp tips of our cats' front claws with a pet nail clipper and it prevented too much major damage.