I'm so sorry!
I lost my dog 5 years ago, and it still hurts. Lots of people don't understand how you can feel that way about a dog, but, like you, mistify-that dog was my best friend...I went through a really rough time in my life, and that dog was the only "person" I talked to for a while.
People are apalled when you compare the death of a pet with the death of a human, but they are so similar. You can (at least I did) grieve the same for each one.
I hope that you can do things the way you want for him. I know how much it means.
Oh, Lobes, that has me balling like a baby! I may be silly, but I do believe there is a place like that...