Yanna, just checking in to see how you are doing? This is such a difficult situation.
Like McJag, I did the "put if off" thing as well. My cat eventually became too ill to even leave the animal medical center. I finally gave in. I went to her oxygen chamber to tell her goodbye. The staff let me remove her myself. It was a horrible thing to witness. Just as I took her out of her chamber she was grasping for air, she couldn't breath. She kept clinging to me. I was dying inside. She took her last breath looking into my eyes. I have never felt so darn guilty or selfish. I was holding her so tightly and close some of her hair came out into my hand. I kept her hair, tied it in a bow. To this day her picture, with her hair in a bow is framed and hanging on my office wall. I still cry for her, that was 10 years ago.