The Taronga Zoo in Australia got themselves a brand new baby pygmy hippo named Monifa and I guess it's like a big deal, because reporters and shit were on hand to document her cuteness. I did get a little "awww" in my throat when watching Monifa lick the zookeeper's hand. But what if you're sitting there, thinking it's so adorable that Monifa is licking on your hand with her silly tongue and then all of a sudden she gets the "instinct" in her and bites your fingers off. Then you have no fucking fingers!
When you go to shake someone's hand and suddenly remember that you have to use the other one because you have no fingers, you'll think of how you fell for Monifa's cuteness! When you're driving down the street with your hook hand and its shininess reflects off the sun and temporarily blinds you, causing you to crash into a tree, you'll think of Monifa.
Dlisted | Be Very Afraid
Monifa - meaning 'I am lucky' - is the first pygmy hippo to be born at Taronga Zoo in Syndey, Australia, in 23 years
Struggle: Zookeepers have cared for Monifa for her first three weeks of life after a difficult breech birth
Endangered: It is estimated there are less than 3,000 pygmy hippos left in their natural habitat, the tropical forests of West Africa