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Thread: My dog = Jeffery Dahmer reincarnated. Semi-rant.

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    Elite Member L1049's Avatar
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    Default My dog = Jeffery Dahmer reincarnated. Semi-rant.

    Plain and simple, my dog is a lil shit.
    He is a Mastiff/Lab/Newfie/Bloodhound somewhere in there. As of Sept 25th he is 10 months old and weighs at least 85-90 pounds, he's a big boy

    I'll admit he is starting to come around in regards to behaviour, but he still has a few 'quirks' that make me think Dahmer is reincarnated in my Clipper.
    Instead of buying 'dog toys' we will buy cheap stuffed animals from thrift stores where I can get a large stuffy for under 2 bucks versus 10 bucks for a 'doggy toy' at a quarter of the size.

    The thing is, within 1 hour of getting the toy home he will destroy it.
    First he'll rip the nose off, than the eyes. After
    he's done desecrating the face of the 'baby*' he'll start ripping the stuffing out. It looks like it snowed in my living room whenever he takes the stuffing out. Fortunately we learned the lesson fast, not to get toys with little beanies in it...those things are a bitch to clean up.

    When all is said and done, and the toy has most of the stuffing ripped out.....he starts humping it. He's been neutered and humps beheaded / limbless stuffed animals.
    Like I said, he was a serial killer in a past life.
    We call his toy's his "baby," and this has lead to a rather embarrassing moment.
    One night he was doing his thing with his toy, my mother yelled, "Stop humping the baby"...our window was open. Thankfully no one was walking in front of our place, explain that one to the cops.

    Oh yea, he's also a little thief. If there's something on the counter that he fancies, he'll take it. He's particularly fond of toilet paper rolls. If there's an empty toilet paper roll on the spinner, he'll grab it. A TP holder has already been broken because of this. On the corner of my street, there is a property with an apple tree and naturally the apples fall. The lil bastard steals the apples when he walks past the place. He's quick too, he'll have it in his mouth before I have time to react.

    Among other damage the lil hellion has caused (just recently):
    1. We have a tarp under a old honda motorcycle in the back yard. Yesterday he pulled the tarp and tipped the bike.
    2. He puts the entire cat's head in his mouth.
    3. I have 2 other dogs, both shih tzu crosses. One is around 20 pounds, and the other is 11 pounds and 17 years old. Clipper already put Nickey's (the old one) back out, and has trampled Tubby numerous times. Unfortunately Clipper doesn't realize how big he is.
    4. I love waking up with unexplained bruises on my legs and arms...thanks Clip.

    Just another side note. This is my first big dog and I'm just curious as to when they stop growing and are considered full grown?

    Anyway here's the lil shit These were taken in May of this year, and he's gotten a bit bigger since.

    Left: Tubby Right: Clipper



    Sorry bout the wall of text but I had to rant. As much as I bitch about him, he is a total sweetheart pussy cat and gentle giant.

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    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    I have a lab and she's a total murderer. She "kills" every toy she gets. First, she grabs it by the little stuffy neck and she shakes it until the neck is broken! Then she chews on it until she finds it's little "heart" (or squeeker) which she then promptly begins to tear into it....stuffing flying every where. It's a brutal scene.

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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    LOl dogs kill their toys all the time. Get him one of those tug ropes instead, they're harder to destroy. He's only 10 months old, he'll be puppylike for another couple years
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

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    Elite Member Trixie's Avatar
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    Cute doggies!

    I feel your pain, though. My puppy is about 5 months old now and she's in that mischievious phase right now. Tall enough to reach the tables and counters and she'll just grab things and run. Not that she doesn't have a hundred appropriate toys to play with. She was running around with a steak knife in her mouth last night. So now I have to puppy-proof every surface in the house. She tortures my cats and annoys my 2 older dogs. But, she's so damn cute and sweet when she wants to be.

    Unfortunately, I don't think they really get out of adolescence until they're about 2 years old. They need lots of attention and exercise.

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    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    LOl dogs kill their toys all the time. Get him one of those tug ropes instead, they're harder to destroy. He's only 10 months old, he'll be puppylike for another couple years
    Yep!! He'll be an asshole for a few more years

    My lab is 9.5 now and she was a handful for two years...and semi-obnoxious for another 2. She chewed a hole in the wall and ate my sofa!!!

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    One of my father's dogs dug her way out of her pen and killed an opossum Sunday night. So at least your doggy is just chewing on a toy. Dad's dog is a real live Cujo!

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    Elite Member Sweetie's Avatar
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    That first picture is so adorable.
    They remind me of two old men, just sitting around shooting the shit, and stopping so someone can take their pictures.

    Tubby has a great smile.

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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    i laughed so hard reading your post. your dog sounds adorable. a handful, to say the least, but an adorable one.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    OMG obedience training!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Dogs tear up their toys; I used to be a crane game master and had a fuckload of stuffed animals for my dog or visiting dogs.

    You need to get your big and quite possibly bigger dog in check now.
    KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GOD DAMNED HONEY!!!!!!!!!!

    Come on, let's have lots of drinks.

    Fuck you all, I'm going viral.

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    Elite Member L1049's Avatar
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    Get him one of those tug ropes instead, they're harder to destroy
    He destroyed one of those too. We bought one of the one's with a tennis ball at the end. It was destroyed in 3 days.

    He is actually well-behaved on walks. He will stop at all of the corners (most of the time) and will stop if he sees someone else walking towards him.
    Around people he is quite well behaved, cautious, but well behaved (he watches everyone he's not well acquainted with like a hawk)
    It's mostly behind closed doors where he acts like a little shit. He's a perfect lil angel for everyone else...typical.

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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Really-JKM is right! Get him into doggie classes fast!
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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    Elite Member L1049's Avatar
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    My mother and I have been thinking about it.
    We were actually going to enroll him when he was about 5 months old, but other stuff got in the way (long Jerry Springer-ish story) and we basically had to cut back when it came to money.

    We'll be moving, hopefully, in the next 3 or so months. When we move we'll have enough money to put him in classes. On the plus side, he seems like a quick learner.

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    Bronze Member ScoobyDoo's Avatar
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    Another option to think about although it will also cost some $$ is doggie daycare if it's available where you are. We have a Chow/Golden Mix who was evil incarnate as far as creating chaos everywhere he went. After a day a doggie daycare, you'd think the dog was dead. He puts himself to bed!! The social interaction and physical activity has been the best outlet for him...otherwise he might be dead.

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    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by L1049 View Post
    One night he was doing his thing with his toy, my mother yelled, "Stop humping the baby"...


    He is gorgeous, mine kept destroying toys, he still has a bite now and then, but he has mostly stopped now at age 18 months.

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    Elite Member L1049's Avatar
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    Me and my dogs are on the same meds He started chewing his back so my mother took him to the vet. Its an infection and the doctor gave him Cephalexin in the same dosage that I'm currently taking.

    While taking him for a walk the other night another person pulled over their car to talk about Clipper.
    This person asked what kind of breed he was because she thought he was a 'Flat-coated Retriever' and that she wanted the same breed.

    When I got home I looked up the flat-coated retriever (because I'd never heard of them) and was amazed at how some of these dogs looked like Clipper. Now I'm thinking that he doesn't have Newfie in him, but Flat-coated retriever (for writing sake it's now FCR). One of the things that sealed it was one picture of a FCR having little tufts of fur in between their toes. Clipper has the exact same thing. Clipper is a bit taller and broader than FCR's and I'm thinking that is the Mastiff in him. What do you guy's think??

    It's kind of hard to determine the breeds because we got him for free from my mother's shrink. The psychiatrist kept one of the puppies, so hopefully my mother can get a photo of Clipper's brother to see what he looks like. When we picked Clipper up, I saw him mother. She looked mostly Mastiff.

    I'm amazed at the amount of people that have gone out of their way to compliment Clipper. The woman that pulled over was at least the 8th person to do so. The funny thing is when someone is complimenting him, he'll act like "I'm the best boy in the world."

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