Monday, August 20th 2012
The Queen's Corgis Are A Bunch Of Gangsta Bitches
Princess Beatrice's 11-year-old Norfolk terrier Max is laid up in the Royal infirmary with a jacked up ear and shank marks on his face, because he was straight jumped by The Queen's gang of not-the-one Corgis. Yeah, go ahead and add "The Queen's Corgis" under the Crips and the Bloods on the list of gangs not to fuck around with.
The Telegraph says that during a walk through The Queen's castle in Scotland, her six Corgis got "overexcited" when Max joined their group and attacked his ass. The Queen's dog boy (not to be confused with Camilla) tried to break those bitches up, but it was too late and Max was left yelping in pain like the time he walked in on Prince Charles fresh out of the shower. Cut to the source:
"The Queen's dog boy was taking the corgis for a walk and they were joined by the Norfolk terriers, which came with Prince Andrew. They were being taken along the long corridor leading to the Tower Door before being let into the grounds for a walk, and they all became overexcited. They began fighting among themselves and unfortunately the dog boy lost control. The next thing we knew there were horrific yelps and screams and it seems the corgis picked on Max. He was very badly injured and had to be taken to the local vet. There was blood everywhere.
The Queen and the Duke were very upset when they were told but the dog is really Beatrice's and she wasn't there either. She later came up to Scotland and has been looking after Max. He was very lucky to survive. I heard the Princess was very upset because another of her Norfolk terriers, Millie, died from natural causes just a week or so before."
Because this source uses the word "overexcited," it sounds like those nasty Corgis got lipstick, tried to get sexy with Max and when Max let them know he doesn't like them like that, they roughed a poor bitch up. And this source needs to stop lying for The Queen, because you know she was there. The Queen is not going to miss a good brawl. She was probably there hollerin' at her Corgis like, "Whoop that trick, ese!"
Poor Max, but I'm sure Princess Bea will defend his honor. Those bitchy Corgis think they got the last bite, but they're wrong. Never mess with a Princess who can leave a bite mark on your face just by flinching at you while flaring her giant Chiclet teeth.