Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 31
Like Tree15Likes

Thread: 6 Terrifying Bats You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped

  1. #1
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Wherever my kids are
    Posts
    24,836

    Default 6 Terrifying Bats You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped

    Not sure if terrifying is the best word. Maybe supremely weird...

    6 Terrifying Bats You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped | Cracked.com



    #6. Griffin's Leaf-Nosed Bat (Hipposideros griffini)




    That animal has not suffered from a crippling facial injury, and it is not deformed. That's its actual face. Meet Griffin's leaf-nosed bat, the reigning champion of the animal kingdom's "Predator without his helmet" look-alike contest:



    Fear is the sustenance that need not be chewed.

    Griffin's leaf-nosed bat was only just discovered by startled researchers in Vietnam, where it haunts the jungles like its Schwarzenegger-stalking face-buddy. The mandibular meat-explosion that passes for the creature's face is actually a radar tool that helps the bat to focus its echolocation calls. Experts were able to determine that it had a unique frequency to its calls that differentiated it enough from the other bats in its genus to make it a distinct species.



    And possibly a cousin of Mickey Rourke.

    For the aspiring Vietnam camping vacationer, the important thing to take away from that last sentence is this: There are plenty of other bats that look just as bad or worse, just flapping around the area and searching for a nice face to land on.

    #5. Spotted Bat (Euderma maculatum)




    Hey, why is that bunny wearing a hat made of human lungs? Oh, wait, that's just the spotted bat. Let's try to find a clearer picture:



    Tell us at least some of those parts aren't glued on.

    The spotted bat lives in Texas, where everything is bigger -- up to and including vile, membranous rodent ears. It can also be found in the arid regions of other states in the western U.S. and northern Mexico. The outrageous size of those ears is great for better hearing, sure, but their presentation guarantees that the spotted bat won't be getting phone calls from Disney executives any time soon.



    The Histoplasmosis Adventure Cave never got past the lawyers.

    Luckily, the bat doesn't appear to be particularly deadly to humans (or at least prefers us to think so), opting to exist on a steady diet of moths. Whether or not it's a coincidence that their ears happen to look like a particularly creepy sort of moth is open to conjecture.
    The eerie similarity to moths doesn't end there, though: The pattern of the spots on its back closely resembles the "death's head" pattern found on the moth made famous in The Silence of the Lambs. That's right -- this bastard actually has a death's head plastered on its body.



    "What do you see, Clarice?"

    Note to aspiring biologists: If an animal looks like it's got a natural brain control device stapled on its head and it has a freaking skull pattern on its back, please put all the effort into making sure it doesn't pose any sort of danger to us. Right now, we're having a hard time believing it's not just practicing on those moths before moving on to bigger things.



    Such as body modification.


    #4. Visored Bat (Sphaeronycteris toxophyllum)




    Know that trend of drawing famous cartoon characters in a realistic way that surfaces on the Web every now and then? Tell us this bat doesn't look like one of those.
    That's the visored bat, and there's so much wrong with that face, we don't even know where to begin. Those huge, weird alien eyes aren't even the worst part -- here it is chilling with its eyes closed:



    It looks like its head was squashed in a vise that was coated in acid.

    A member of the long list of horrors that flit and slither around the Amazon basin, the visored bat is thankfully frugivore by nature. It's also relatively rare, which may or may not be because it prefers to have as little sexual contact with its kind as is absolutely necessary.



    Don't give me that look, woman. This is no picnic for me either.

    Science still doesn't know much about the visored bat. This may have something to do with the fact that it's a relatively recent find, or the whole "being an extremely rare animal that lives in a dangerous jungle" thing. However, it is not outside the realm of possibility that researchers just don't find the idea of studying them to be all that attractive. Hey, how closely would you like to interact with something that looks like a cross between an orc and Steve Buscemi in the middle of an allergic shellfish reaction?



    "Why do I have to be Mr. Pink? Why can't I be- Actually, Pink is fine. Softens the horror."




  2. #2
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    42,527

    Default

    I like bats. Better than bug speay!
    KrisNine, dowcat and Bluebonnet like this.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  3. #3
    Elite Member MsChiff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    ♥In your heart ♥
    Posts
    5,752

    Default

    they have some great ears! (the first one is major creepy)

  4. #4
    Elite Member nancydrew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    In the black kid's pants
    Posts
    6,148

    Default

    Fuck that, I got chills looking at that first one!
    MsChiff, HelpMeRhonda and eboni like this.
    (276): Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
    OK, I can't sing, I can't act, I'm dumb, I'm a hillbilly, but I can twerk, so whatever.-Miley Cyrus

  5. #5
    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Studying with Master Grumpy Cat
    Posts
    9,402

    Default

    I want to see the rest of them!
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

    "Scoffing is one of my main hobbies!" ~Trixie

  6. #6
    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Sleepy night night land
    Posts
    22,381

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by McJag View Post
    I like bats. Better than bug speay!
    Growing up, our neighbors had a "bat house" up this really large pole in their backyard. In the dead of summer, we never had a mosquito.

  7. #7
    Elite Member Karistiona's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Alba
    Posts
    12,628

    Default

    Aw I love bats, the one with the big ears is super cute
    I smile because I have no idea what's going on

  8. #8
    Elite Member ConstanceSpry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    7,492

    Default

    Bats are such beneficial critters, who cares what they look like. I wonder what's happening with that white-nose disease which was wiping out entire bat colonies.
    'I had to get rid of the kid. The cat was allergic.'

  9. #9
    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    GUTTED
    Posts
    21,057

    Default

    #6 looks like Mickey Rourke.
    Icepik likes this.
    Good luck getting a cat to do anything let alone join in on your sexcapades. - Air Quotes

  10. #10
    Elite Member hustle4alivin's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    4,508

    Default

    *runs out of thread screaming and crying, goes into fetal position in a corner and repeats "it's okay! It's okay! They're just photos!" over and over again*
    Icepik, Ravenna, *DIVA! and 4 others like this.

  11. #11
    Elite Member Moongirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Cal-i-for-nigh-ay!
    Posts
    7,108

    Default

    So, last year, I'm driving home from work one evening, when I hear what I thought was a rather large bug hit my windshield. I saw something flapping a bit on my windshield wiper, and assumed it was a large moth. I get home and after pulling into the garage, inspect my wiper to see the "moth", only to realize I was staring into the ratlike face of a bat! It was kinda small, and fortunately, dead, but still, yikes!

  12. #12
    Elite Member Icepik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    10,533

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hustle4alivin View Post
    *runs out of thread screaming and crying, goes into fetal position in a corner and repeats "it's okay! It's okay! They're just photos!" over and over again*
    I have to agree with this. Bats creep the hell out of me!
    hustle4alivin likes this.

  13. #13
    Elite Member DeadDwarf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    5,816

    Default

    Bats scare me. When I was a kid and visiting my grandma's ranch in Montana, the bats would come out at dawn. We would take little pebbles and throw them up in the air and the bats would dive down towards the pebbles, obviously thinking it was a meal. There would be lots of them just flying around and sitting on telephone poles 15 feet from her door.

  14. #14
    Elite Member Ravenna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    7,910

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Icepik View Post
    I have to agree with this. Bats creep the hell out of me!
    I never thought anything could make bats seem even more creepy, but along came Mohandas with these photos.

    I hate bats, especially because I associate them with rabies.

  15. #15
    Elite Member *DIVA!'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    15,736

    Default

    I knew what it was when I clicked on the thread..and I got exactly what I deserved!!
    Baltimore O's ​Fan!

    I don''t know if she really fucked the board though. Maybe just put the tip in. -Mrs. Dark

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 6
    Last Post: August 9th, 2008, 12:30 AM
  2. 6 most terrifying foods
    By Just Kill Me in forum Food and Cuisine
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: December 26th, 2007, 12:12 PM
  3. Bats!
    By Eli in forum Pets and Animals
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: April 2nd, 2007, 08:09 AM
  4. Lucy Lawless - Vampire Bats promo pics
    By wheelbarrow in forum Magazines and Photoshoots
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: January 15th, 2007, 02:47 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •