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Thread: JFK Runway Shut Down Because of Turtle Infestation

  1. #1
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Default JFK Runway Shut Down Because of Turtle Infestation

    Today it was time for an annual ritual, the day when the diamondback terrapins that live near JFK airport force one of the runways to close while they crawl across it to go lay their eggs. Can't we find a permanent solution to this?

    Sure, flights were only delayed an hour and the 100 turtles were moved to a nice sandy spot so they can lay their eggs, so everything turned out fine. But can't we find these turtles a nice new home somewhere comfy and cozy? Next to the airport is no place to raise a family. It's loud and ugly and it's not like turtles can even take a flight somewhere nice if they want to. Maybe the University of Maryland will take them? Or someone can write a children's book about them (how has this not happened yet?) and then they could use the royalties to buy some waterfront property in the Hamptons or somewhere? Come on, turtles, show some of that New York hustle!




    JFK Runway Shut Down Because of Turtle Infestation
    It's no longer a dog whistle, it's a fucking trombone


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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    I think humans can slow down long enough for the turtles to do their business once a year.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greysfang View Post
    I think humans can slow down long enough for the turtles to do their business once a year.
    Word.

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