Ursula Hirschkorn says becoming a parent makes you less selfish
(Parenthood doesn't MAKE you anything, you're either selfish or you're not.)
Ursula Hirschkorn, 35, lives with her husband Mike and their two sons, Jacob, three and Max, one. She says:
So Corinne Maier thinks motherhood gets too much good press - but I beg to differ.
I think most mums are only too happy to regale their scared single friends with tales of stretch marks, sleepless nights and sex-free relationships, if only to elicit a bit of sympathy.
I think most women go out of their way not to drone on and on about their children, especially when they're with friends who don't have a family.
(Thanks for that)
To be honest, though, in the face of this vitriolic attack on the lifestyle I've chosen, I say to hell with other people's feelings.
I think the real secret of motherhood is that for all our griping about loss of personal freedom, dead-end careers and endless rounds of nappy-changing, being a mother is the best and most important job in the world.
As soon as you get pregnant, you finally realise the point of all those years of dealing with budding boobs and annoying periods.
(You couldn't figure it out before then?)
As you body swells up with potential, you finally have a legitimate reason to spend hours drooling over baby clothes and the latest prams.
And you start to get what this baby-making business is all about.
Now I know that not all pregnancies are as rosy as mine, which were a round of cat naps and guilt-free chocolate scoffing, but the end result makes it all worthwhile even if you've spent nine months fighting morning sickness.
(guilt-free? looks like that "chocolate scoffing" didn't end with the pregnancy, hon)
The moment you look your baby in the eye, you know a love like no other you will ever feel. Your feelings for your newborn baby are the very definition of unconditional love.
They are the cutest thing you've ever seen, even as newborns when they are slicked in blood and look like Winston Churchill (all new babies do).
(Maybe yours do, lady.....)
Now I won't lie - yes, the early months are hard, but then doesn't anything worth having take a bit of hard work and self-sacrifice?
One of my most cherished memories is of a night feed with my son Jacob when he was all of two months old. I plucked him screaming and red-faced from his cot, and started to feed him his milk.
After a few moments, he pulled away from his bottle, looked up at me and gave me his first, beautifully gummy smile.
I've never felt being up at 2am was so worthwhile - even when I was dancing away at some nightclub in my youth.
I remember reading when I was pregnant that once you have a child you will never be bored again.
I was sceptical to say the least. In my experience, babies were grand masters at doing nothing, in between bouts of banshee screaming, but that was before I had my own to play with.
Even watching Jacob sleep held its own fascination, and when he started to do really interesting things such as eat solids, roll, crawl, walk, talk and boss me about, well that was when things really got fun.
My husband would come home from work and our entire dinner conversation would be about the milestones Jacob had reached, no matter how infinitesimal.
(You certainly lead a scintillating life)
I don't know about you but I don't think "joy" and "big pants" belong in the same paragraph. And you DO too need to shave your legs. Your poor husband.....
Parents know their world shrinks when children come along. They are painfully aware they are missing out on films and plays and boozy nights out.
But isn't that what your 20s are for? Do you really want to go on living the same way until you're 50?
(No but it doesn't have to be completely changed!)
The truth is that becoming a parent makes you less selfish - it forces you to devote yourself to another being more than to yourself.
It allows you to experience the joys and challenges of that little person's life as they live it.
And it lets you reconnect with your own childhood by reliving the excitement of discovering the world all over again.
The first time my son Jacob kissed me and told me he loved me, it beat all my previous romantic trysts into a cocked hat.
When I was a new mum to Jacob, I remember saying to my husband that if I were to die then that it wouldn't matter so much because I had done the best thing I ever could in having my son.
(I'm sure it would matter to your kid and husband....)
These are the moments that I will remember and savour when I am old: watching the boys put on a show, complete with my posh make-up smeared all over their faces, beaming as we clap their tiny achievements; my three-year-old boy genius asking me if we could come to a "compromise" about his excessive lolly consumption; my beautiful little baby boy pointing out the "tittomotamus" (read hippopotamus) at Disneyworld.
(Your little boys are dipping into your make-up.....?)
I certainly won't be thinking about how well a particular business meeting went or how many times I went to the cinema.
And that to me is the best argument for motherhood there could be.
Angels or savages - who would have children? | the Daily Mail[/quote]
This lady is a bit crazy with the kid love. Seems her husband was there for only one reason and now she's done with him. She can sit and eat chocolate and watch her kids, while the husband sits in the freezer with the peas ready to be made into dinner for the kids tomorrow night.
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