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Thread: Child beauty pageants: fun or fiendish?

  1. #541
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Merlot-N-Bali
    GR's Ultimate List of Ultra Magnificent Gorgeous Reigning Beauty Queens, Division 3MTA3 Super Prettiest Category, First-Place Winning Beautiful Goddesses of Superior Supremeness, All-Around Excellence in Channeling Your Abusive Manatee Momster's Inner Whore (entry fee 499.99):

    lurkur: Ecstessi-Paridyse Lyrkerre
    Lobelia: Poofiehyr Pyrfekshyn
    A*O's daughter: Laytexxe
    Sojiita: Reignbeaux Sommer Wynde aka Ahmburrleigh
    MrsMarsters: Destuneei-Muhrie-Kaydtuprositot
    IheartParis: Sonshyne LaTreene
    cheetopia: Hawtt Tryanny Maess
    tee-ha-ha: Shardonae Braelynn
    EX-Pageantmom: Mawmmaws Lillygough
    Grimmlok: Raygun Trollupp McDestyny-Whynter
    Merlot-N-Bali: Brandee Alexxisse Shugarbutte
    Twitchy: Chastitty Swallows
    McJag: Gloree Haley-Luya Polly Ester Fisheballe
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  2. #542
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Oh come on. THESE do not have boyfriends. They have handlers. The handlers keep them from blundering into motorboat blades.
    Last edited by NoDayButToday; June 30th, 2008 at 09:24 PM.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  3. #543
    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    LOL, so blindness as well as retardation is a prerequisite for pageant moms?
    We should make a qualifications/qualities list for the manateemonstermoms..

    -Fat of course
    -ugly
    -tyrranical
    -never get sex(even when they offer blowjobs to judges they get turned down)
    -stupid
    -blind
    -bitter
    -jealous
    -live in vans down by the river
    -Walmart fixtures
    -on government relief
    -hit their kids
    -if married, husbands hate them
    -other kids hate them as well
    -even pageant kids hate them
    -probably smoke, drink, eat too much
    -most will (thankfully) be dead before they hit sixty
    -are very similar to the banned twits and assholes who originated here

    any other qualities..?

  4. #544
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post

    Oh come on. THESE do not have boyfriends. They have handlers. The handlers keep them from blundering into motorboat blades.

    Manatees need love too. They have boyfriends. You know, the ones who want their little girls.
    Last edited by NoDayButToday; June 30th, 2008 at 09:24 PM.

  5. #545
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    ROFL omg... this.. is.. wow..
    Last edited by NoDayButToday; June 30th, 2008 at 09:24 PM.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  6. #546
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    ROFL omg... this.. is.. wow..
    Let me complete your thoughts. This is child abuse. But the kids LOVE it and it is all for them.
    Last edited by NoDayButToday; June 30th, 2008 at 09:24 PM.

  7. #547
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    OK.. THIS is the posterchild for the horror of pageants.
    Jesus christ she looks just.. miserable, and dead inside.
    Last edited by NoDayButToday; June 30th, 2008 at 09:24 PM.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  8. #548
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    ^^^ but her lipstick is flawless!!

  9. #549
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Look! So much fun is being had!
    Last edited by NoDayButToday; June 30th, 2008 at 09:25 PM.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  10. #550
    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    OK.. THIS is the posterchild for the horror of pageants.

    Jesus christ she looks just.. miserable, and dead inside.
    Poor thing probably did not win "Special Supreme Miss Grand Novice Belle" and knows mom is going to beat her ass when they get back to the Motel Six.

    'but mommy..I tried so hard.'.*cries*

    'You little shit I TOLD you and TOLD you to look at and smile at Judge McPedoperve and you did NOT and you only twirled TWICE and I TOLD you it was THREE TWIRLS GODDAMIT! *thwack!*. I do not know why I spend so much money and effort on you ..you are just worthless and the other girls are so much better I swear to GOD I do not know why I even bother with you. If only I had Brandene or Annabelle or Mikaylah for a damn daughter..*sigh* Instead I get stuck with YOU! '*thwack*

    ^^would not surprise me one damn bit.
    Last edited by NoDayButToday; June 30th, 2008 at 09:25 PM.

  11. #551
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    OK.. THIS is the posterchild for the horror of pageants.

    Jesus christ she looks just.. miserable, and dead inside.
    If the Mother of this child is lurking, PLEASE take her home and let her run in the back yard with a scrubbed little face. Let her play tea party with other little girls and skip rope. I beg of you-have a heart. Or give all your winning money to a therapist later.
    Last edited by NoDayButToday; June 30th, 2008 at 09:25 PM.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  12. #552
    Elite Member twitchy's Avatar
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    Mom's dead.

    "The howling backwoods that is IMDB is where film criticism goes to die (and then have its corpse gang-raped, called a racist, and accused of supporting Al-Qaeda)" ----Sean O'Neal, The Onion AV Club

  13. #553
    Elite Member Annika's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy View Post
    Mom's dead.
    I saw that movie on youtube! god. all that stress of making sure her child was perfect gave her a heart attack! did you SEE the woman chain smoking and flipping out? i was waiting for her to keel over during the movie because swan wasn't 'doing it right' when she had her in the garage doing her 'moves'

    GR's Ultimate List of Ultra Magnificent Gorgeous Reigning Beauty Queens, Division 3MTA3 Super Prettiest Category, First-Place Winning Beautiful Goddesses of Superior Supremeness, All-Around Excellence in Channeling Your Abusive Manatee Momster's Inner Whore (entry fee 499.99):

    lurkur: Ecstessi-Paridyse Lyrkerre
    Lobelia: Poofiehyr Pyrfekshyn
    A*O's daughter: Laytexxe
    Sojiita: Reignbeaux Sommer Wynde aka Ahmburrleigh
    MrsMarsters: Destuneei-Muhrie-Kaydtuprositot
    IheartParis: Sonshyne LaTreene
    cheetopia: Hawtt Tryanny Maess
    tee-ha-ha: Shardonae Braelynn
    EX-Pageantmom: Mawmmaws Lillygough
    Grimmlok: Raygun Trollupp McDestyny-Whynter
    Merlot-N-Bali: Brandee Alexxisse Shugarbutte
    Twitchy: Chastitty Swallows
    McJag: Gloree Haley-Luya Polly Ester Fisheballe
    Annika: Dymind Rae Safire Obeeze

    (MERLOT you STOLE MY ALEXXISSE NAME! Your evening wear is going down sister! - I have orange drink and know your hotel suite number!!)

  14. #554
    Bronze Member EX-pageantmom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McJag View Post
    If the Mother of this child is lurking, PLEASE take her home and let her run in the back yard with a scrubbed little face. Let her play tea party with other little girls and skip rope. I beg of you-have a heart. Or give all your winning money to a therapist later.
    This is Swan Brooner and her momma died shortly after an HBO special documenting pageants titled "Living Dolls: Making of a Child Beauty Queen" I believe.

  15. #555
    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy View Post
    Mom's dead.
    Quote Originally Posted by EX-pageantmom View Post
    This is Swan Brooner and her momma died shortly after an HBO special documenting pageants titled "Living Dolls: Making of a Child Beauty Queen" I believe.
    The kid is better off!

    One down and how many to go...??

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