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Thread: #being 13

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    Elite Member kasippu's Avatar
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    Default #being 13

    Has anyone seen this? As mother of 13 year old, this really scares me.

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    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    All this bullshit centers around that fucking phone. Take that goddamned shit away for about a month and ground that ass. Or stop paying for it.

    The first thing my son and his classmates were required to do when they got to school in grade school (granted this was a private school, k-8th grade) was turn in their phones. They got them back at the end of the day. Or if there was an emergency or they had to leave early. At the high school he goes to now, he doesn't have to turn it in, but if he gets caught with his cell phone out during class/school hours (not counting lunch break and before/after school) it's a $25 fine.

    And my friends whose daughters went to school with my son (and were co-homeroom moms with me when our kids were in 7th and 8th grade) knew everything that was going on with these kids. Why? Because they had access to those girls' phones and read all that shit regularly!

    You pay attention to your kids, take some shit away when they fuck up, and you'll minimize this bullshit.

    Totally unrelated: Anderson Cooper is hawt!
    Last edited by MsDark; October 11th, 2015 at 12:48 PM.
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    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    I worry for this generation. They really do live their lives online.

    I've always told my daughter whatever she does online is not private, we do follow her, we will take her phone at any time and see what she has been up to behind our backs (if anything). I won't read her texts, but online activity, totally fair game.

    All kinds of bullshit goes on with these kids online. So far mine hasn't given me reason not to trust her but if she did, that phone would be gone.
    if you're so incensed that you can't fly your penis in public take it up with your state, arrange a nude protest, go and be the rosa parks of cocks or something - witchcurlgirl

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    I will say it again, social media is a toxic influence.
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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    "Our experts call it 'lurking'"
    LOL they needed an expert for this?
    Im sure they make some good points but ten minutes in the alarmist tone and cheesy dramatic music was too much. Every generation of adults thinks kids have it harder than they did. And yet every generation makes it to adulthood and grows up to think the same thing about the best generation of kids.
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    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    That's true, but technology changes society. Think of how television changed everything from marketing to politics. The changes are real and not all of them are good. It remains to be seen how this generation fares.
    if you're so incensed that you can't fly your penis in public take it up with your state, arrange a nude protest, go and be the rosa parks of cocks or something - witchcurlgirl

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    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    I remember being in the food court of the mall back when I was in California. There was a group of tween/teen girls, all sitting around a large table. There was hardly a sound from the table because every, single girl was on the phone. Once in a while, they would slide next to each other for a selfie or something. It was weird. They all had a coffee or a Jamba Juice and weren't saying a freaking word. My friends and I were like a group of cackling hens at that age. We didn't shut up for anything.

    I hate to sound like an old fart, but I do feel sad and sorry for the generations that are coming up. Plus, after seeing our friends daughter practically have her high school life destroyed by a little bitch bully on social media, I'm just not sure what to think of all of it. There are pages and pages out there that are dedicated to smearing the names of high schoolers. No one can touch them. The schools, teachers, parents, etc. It's all anonymous, but so destructive.
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    Elite Member kasippu's Avatar
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    I do believe a big part of it is the parents fault. And I wish I had youtube when I was studying because to read about it or to see it makes a big difference. I was trying to explain inertia to my kid when I found this 1 min youtube that showed it perfectly and everyone understood. So for sure it is not all evil.

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    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    I didn't watch the video, but if parents are waiting until the tween years to instill boundaries and create trust with their kids - that ship has long since sailed.
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    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    It makes no sense to me that all this adult hand-wringing and these kids' lives being 'out of control' revolves around expensive, non-essential electronic devices that the parents are paying for (Can you even own a cellphone/account of your own without a parent or guardian as a co-signer if you are underage?...which is 18 in this country. Not that I know of.) and the schools could easily confiscate and/or bar them from using.
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    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MontanaMama View Post
    I didn't watch the video, but if parents are waiting until the tween years to instill boundaries and create trust with their kids - that ship has long since sailed.

    I don't think that's it. Yes some parents suck (maybe they are too busy smoking weed and crafting in their separate residence ) but the reality is the internet / social media gives kids a kind of freedom we didn't have and they probably aren't ready for. They have access to an absolutely insane amount of information. They can talk to anyone in the world, anytime. They can talk to their friends morning, noon and night. It's basically an entire other world they live and play in where adult supervision is all but impossible. then there is that false sense that the internet isn't "real life" which embolden's some kids to act in ways they wouldn't otherwise.

    My point is, it takes a lot of maturity to handle that kind of freedom. 13 is probably too young for a lot of kids. Even kids close to their parent's might go off the rails a bit when first set loose on the interwebs.
    if you're so incensed that you can't fly your penis in public take it up with your state, arrange a nude protest, go and be the rosa parks of cocks or something - witchcurlgirl

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    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    when my daughter was 15, she got in with the wrong crowd and stole my credit card. (assholes from school) i took her phone, and grounded her for the entire summer.I
    also took her to the local sheriff who, (with my permission) ripped her a new one and made her cry. I never left her side for 3 months, literally went everywhere she moved.

    it was a long miserable summer for the both of us. but, today she's almost 22, engaged to a wonderful navy guy, working and living in Hawaii.

    i honestly never realized how bad the phone issue was until i saw her friend on hers all the freaking time.
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    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    I guess kids face all kinds of shit in their schools and social circles. Even back in the stone ages (the 80's), my parents seemed to be a lot more strict than others. Not punishment wise, but I had a curfew, I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16, for a while I had to come straight home after school to do my homework before going and hanging out with friends, etc. There were many times I hated my parents! Hated them. All of my other friends seemed to have it so easy. Their parents seemed to let them do whatever they wanted. I would miss out on things because I had to leave the party or I wasn't allowed to go to so and so's house after school. I would always feel like I was left out of things. Left out of the little inside jokes they all had, some days it sucked. I see why my parents did it now.

    Now, I see it with my friends kids. The pressure to have a cell phone, not just any cell, an iPhone. Has to be the latest and greatest. Plus, an iPad, a Macbook, a cute new car (preferably a Mini or a Fiat), the list goes on and on. My friends kids got iPhones when they turned 16. People in their social circle actually made fun of them for being "too poor" to have an iphone. Shit like that.

    The internet world scares me. I hope I can be a good enough parent to make my daughter understand the limitations of what she can do online, without either scaring the shit out of her or being so over-protective that I make her run the opposite way and get into loads of trouble.
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  14. #14
    Elite Member kasippu's Avatar
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    My kids need to bring their laptop everyday to school. I had set limits for screen time but that is out the window as all the homework is on the laptop. I do check their history, if they are doing homework or just gaming eat. But the biggest problem is their peers. My kids do not have a phone and they are the only ones in their class (I do not care) But some of the kids in the class have access to everything - one girl has 3 iPhones (I asked my son 'What is she, a drug dealer or what that she needs 3 phones) and the parents do not care or do not check... One guy in 7th grade was watching porn during break time. (school found out and he was expelled but still...)

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    Elite Member Flygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsDark View Post
    It makes no sense to me that all this adult hand-wringing and these kids' lives being 'out of control' revolves around expensive, non-essential electronic devices that the parents are paying for (Can you even own a cellphone/account of your own without a parent or guardian as a co-signer if you are underage?...which is 18 in this country. Not that I know of.) and the schools could easily confiscate and/or bar them from using.
    Vouch vouch vouch

    this makes entirely too much sense

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