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Thread: A 'Tea Party beauty pageant'

  1. #1
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Default A 'Tea Party beauty pageant'

    Miss Liberty America contestants must display beauty, brains, and basic firearms competency. A quick guide to the latest innovation in conservative culture
    POSTED ON OCTOBER 27, 2010, AT 1:49 PM


    "Miss Liberty America" will be the first pageant of its kind to judge contestants on their marksmanship. Photo: Corbis SEE ALL 44 PHOTOS
    The conservative young women of America had better get into training now, says Tim Murphy at Mother Jones. Registration has opened for Miss Liberty America, a pageant that promises to give "America's elite feminine patriots" a chance to display their "patriotism, intelligence, talent, beauty," and precision rifle skills. When Murphy referred to the event as "the first-ever Tea Party beauty pageant," however, organizers took exception. Here's a concise guide:

    What is Miss Liberty America?
    A national pageant for young conservative women, scheduled to take place in Las Vegas on July 4, 2012. Conceived along the lines of a traditional beauty pageant, the contest will "promote liberty, the military, and the documents of our founding fathers."

    How will the contestants be assessed?
    Would-be queens will parade in a one-piece swimsuit (adhering to the "minimum standards of modesty") and an evening gown, demonstrate a talent, answer questions regarding the documents of America's founding fathers, and compete in marksmanship.

    Sorry ... marksmanship?
    Yes. "This will be the first pageant of its kind to introduce competency in the handling, safety and use of firearms, and CPR," say the organizers. "The contestants must be able to save a life as well as defend one." In addition to $10,000 cash and a college scholarship, the winner will receive a lifetime membership in the National Rifle Association.

    Who is behind this?
    The pageant is the brainchild of Alicia Hayes-Roberts, sister of prospective 2012 presidential candidate Rutherford B. Hayes, a military veteran whose proposed platform calls for withdrawal from the United Nations, a return to the gold standard, and the abolition of the IRS. He is also the pageant's chief financial officer.

    Why can't I call it a Tea Party pageant?
    Despite the pageant's embrace of Tea Party concerns like Second Amendment rights and the military, Hayes-Roberts told Mother Jones earlier this week that she doesn't want to be "associated" with fringe movements. "I'm trying to bring people together, not separate people," she said, noting the judging panel will be racially mixed. "And there are some organizations that do nothing but segregate people."

    Can Miss Liberty America really bring people together?
    Well, "for better or worse," that's what the Miss America pageant once did, says Libby Copeland at Slate's Double X. But the conservative-sounding mission of this pageant "only underscores what a culturally fragmented country we live in." Anyway, it's difficult to take seriously an event which offers "complete dental care" and "a full-length mink coat" as prizes.

    A 'Tea Party beauty pageant' - The Week

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    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    They want to "bring people together" but only if they're conservative.

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Other eligible talent show demonstrations, include:

    1. Speech on why men could not have possibly evolved from apes.

    2. A white-board demonstration on how Noah's ark had plenty of room for two of every kind of at least 40,000 species of reptile and mammal that inhabited the earth at that time (participants who wish to demonstrate this talent will be given the hint that it was a "really big" ark).

    3. Quickie PowerPoint slide show on how you can give $3.1 Trillion in tax breaks to the rich while still reducing that nasty federal debt.

    4. Puppet show on why the early cavemen killed off the dinosaurs (hint - really tasty meat), and why the dinosaurs' bones settled down into sedimentary layers that had already solidified into stone (hint #2 - REALLY heavy dinosaur bones).

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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honey View Post
    Why can't I call it a Tea Party pageant?
    Despite the pageant's embrace of Tea Party concerns like Second Amendment rights and the military, Hayes-Roberts told Mother Jones earlier this week that she doesn't want to be "associated" with fringe movements. "I'm trying to bring people together, not separate people," she said, noting the judging panel will be racially mixed. "And there are some organizations that do nothing but segregate people."
    Well, she has a point there.
    KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GOD DAMNED HONEY!!!!!!!!!!

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    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    4. Puppet show on why the early cavemen killed off the dinosaurs (hint - really tasty meat), and why the dinosaurs' bones settled down into sedimentary layers that had already solidified into stone (hint #2 - REALLY heavy dinosaur bones).
    So, are you hinting that their views of creationism vs. evolution might be, well, "creative"? Searching for the bones of actual dinosaurs vs. digging around for those of Noah?
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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    Everyone knows that dinosaur bones were built from anti matter, thus the sinking, god, that's just basic, yo! ummmmm, they took away my shotgun, la la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GOD DAMNED HONEY!!!!!!!!!!

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    Gold Member VeraGemini's Avatar
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    Wait... the guy's name is Rutherford B. Hayes? Really?

    Ok, after a Googling, I see there really is a 2012 candidate by that name. He's from Arkansas, holds a GED, and likes to put random WORDS in all caps for EMPHASIS! He's got a website, which links to the pageant website. They've got some interesting and very old school contestant criteria:

    • Must be a registered voter
    • Must between the age of 18-27
    • Must be a United States Citizen and establish proof of citizenship.
    • Must speak, write, and read the English Language fluently.
    • Must be naturally born female.
    • Must be CPR certified.
    • Must demonstrate proficiency in the handling, use and safety of firearms.
    • Must meet the character criteria set forth by MISS LIBERTY AMERICA
    • Must have a minimum G.P.A. of 3.5 out of a 4.0
    • Must submit to a criminal background check.
    • Must never have been convicted of a felony.
    • Must sing, dance or play an instrument.
    • Must NEVER have posed nude in any photo or any recorded medium.
    • Must never have been employed or involved with any nudity or pornography.
    • Must never have given birth to a child, can not be pregnant or be a parent.
    • Must not be married, must never have been married, and must never have had a marriage annulled.
    • Must be physically fit and have sound mental health to meet the job requirements.
    CPR certified, I suppose, in case someone misses the target during the firearms segment of the pageant. Too bad that "employed or involved with any nudity" rule would tend to disqualify contestants from the health fields.

    Also, all of the pictures on the "Prizes" page come directly from Getty Images stock photo section. Except for banner ad at the bottom from the pageant sponsor. They should really rethink their font choices, I read "couture.com" as "courtesan" the first time, and did a nice doubletake.
    st be a registered voter

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    Elite Member dolem's Avatar
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    Apparently you coudn't be a legal guardian of a child either, at least according to this, "Must never have given birth to a child, can not be pregnant or be a parent". As a legal guardian you could possibly be considered a parent....

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    Elite Member lurkur's Avatar
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    Whoops.
    • Must be a registered voter
    • Must between the age of 18-27
    • Must be a United States Citizen and establish proof of citizenship.
    • Must speak, write, and read the English Language fluently.
    • Must be naturally born female. No C-section deliveries?
    • Must be CPR certified.
    • Must demonstrate proficiency in the handling, use and safety of firearms.
    • Must meet the character criteria set forth by MISS LIBERTY AMERICA
    • Must have a minimum G.P.A. of 3.5 out of a 4.0
    • Must submit to a criminal background check.
    • Must never have been convicted of a felony.
    • Must sing, dance or play an instrument.
    • Must NEVER have posed nude in any photo or any recorded medium.
    • Must never have been employed or involved with any nudity or pornography.
    • Must never have given birth to a child, can not be pregnant or be a parent.
    • Must not be married, must never have been married, and must never have had a marriage annulled.
    • Must be physically fit and have sound mental health to meet the job requirements.
    Not to mention the erratic use of commas and periods.

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    Elite Member Melyanna's Avatar
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    Using firearms is good and being nude is awful and immoral, I see.

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    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    If you pose nude with a firearm it probably cancels out. speaking of which, here's a picture of Evi Quaid: http://westtexasweekly.com/wp-conten...gun-photos.jpg
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    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    oxymoron = Tea party beauty

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    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy2.0 View Post
    If you pose nude with a firearm it probably cancels out. speaking of which, here's a picture of Evi Quaid: http://westtexasweekly.com/wp-conten...gun-photos.jpg
    Why do you think that big flashlight is laying there????
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
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    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    No idea. Not even the slightest.
    As Canadian as possible under the circumstances

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    "What's traitors, precious?" -- President Gollum

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    Elite Member Moongirl's Avatar
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    I know a few women who are daughters of Mexican immigrants and would fit the requirements... you think they would be accepted into the pageant?

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